Truth behind the Lies
by chocoboshead
Summary: Shuichi walks in and witnessed Eiri's betrayal on him. 2 years later, they meet again and discover a shocking truth. Y/S
1. Chapter 1

**Truth behind the lies**

**Chapter 1**

**--**

**Disc: I don't own gravitation!**

**thanks to Lanie 12777 for beta-ing this story^^**

--

Six days.

It's been six days since Eiri Yuki left Japan, leaving his little lover Shuichi Shindou alone. The pink-haired brat already begged him to take him along, but when he just received a deathly glare from the grumpy novelist, he unwillingly gave up the idea. For the first three days Shuichi called Yuki at least five times each day, decreasing as time goes by.

Now the genki singer is more than disappointed when he calls Yuki by the telephone and receives no answer. But when he realizes tonight Yuki is supposed to arrive, his spirit quickly lights up.

"Shuichi!" a deep baritone voice boomed through the recording room, and Shuichi turns his pink head to see Hiro standing behind him. He gives his best friend the usual goofy grin before answering shortly, "Yes?"

The red-haired guy takes a seat beside him, "Tonight Yuki arrives, huh? That's why you look happier than usual?"

At the mention of his lover's name, the grin that is plastered on his face grew wider, along with happy sparkles in his violet orbs.

"Yess!! I'm so happy, Hiro! Six days without Yuki is like a living hell for me!" Hiro smirked before bringing up his large hand to ruffle his best friend's hair playfully.

"Well, I'm happy too for you. Now why the hell are you still here? Wouldn't it be best if you went home and prepared dinner for Yuki?"

Shuichi blinked, then turned his head to his friend's watch.

"Waaah! You're right, Hiro! It's already 3 p.m. now, I'd better get going!" he said in a high pitched, almost girly voice. Hiro watched in amusement as Shuichi hurriedly packed his backpack, before running out of the room with a loud 'bye-bye'. But before he has a chance to leave this place, Shuichi's pink hair bobbed from outside the door.

"Hiro! What about K? He'll shoot me if I leave before time!"

Hiro answers with a warm smile, "It's OK, you idiot. I'll tell him!"

"Oh, thank you! Bye!"

And with that, the singer was practically running toward Yuki's apartment, not even minding to take the elevator instead of stairs. His heart feels like bursting out any second because finally he'll see Yuki again.

--

"But Yuki, what if he's home now? I can't… it's too risky…" a hushed, unexpectedly familiar voice could be heard from behind the door Shuichi was standing in. He was more than surprised when he arrived at the apartment and found it unlocked, and Yuki's suitcase lying on the floor beside his shoes. Panic surged through him when he heard two male voices from the master bedroom—two awfully familiar male voices. So he hurriedly runs over there silently, overhearing the conversation that makes him want to puke.

"So you don't want it then? Funny… your body did…"

Violet eyes widened at the deep voice he knows too well. It's Yuki's voice… and who's the other? He swears he's heard it before, but he just can't name it… despite his curiosity, Shuichi stands still in his place instead of snapping the door open and seeing what the hell is happening behind it.

"Yeah… that's… true. But Yuki, I won't take the risk if he…" the voice faded, turning to a shallow breath and pants before returning again, "if he… found out."

The Yuki-like voice chuckled a bit before answering, "Like I care if he ever found out."

More pants and moans flew through the closed door, and Shuichi squeezed his eyes shut to avoid the tears that threatened to fall. No, he won't cry until he knows the truth. But the fact that it's his Yuki's voice that he heard is enough to split his heart in two. How could he do this to me? And who the hell is the other man he's with?

A million questions run through the singer's brain and before he realizes it, tears are pouring from his closed eyes. He sobbed quietly so they can't tell of his appearance, small hands covering parted lips to muffle the screams. He wanted to yell, to scream, to do anything to release his anger—but he can't do anything but cry.

Minutes passed by, and as the noises from behind the door increased, Shuichi wiped his eyes with the backs of his hands and stands up. His small hands, still wet from the tears, reached uncertainly to the door knob before pushing it open. And how Shuichi wished he hadn't.

His amethyst eyes watched in painfully slow motion as his beloved Yuki thrust into the other's body… the one with bleach blonde hair and a smaller figure. None other than Seguchi Tohma.

His fists clenched to small balls, teeth clenched with desperation and anger. After all that they've been through… why is it Yuki still doesn't change? And the most important thing is, how can he think he could change him? Yuki will never change—that's the truth, and it hurt him more. Uesugi Eiri will be the same Yuki Eiri forever— a coldhearted, mean, heartless bastard. No matter how hard he tried to make him happy, he just wasn't enough. He's not good enough to melt the ice that surrounds the blonde's heart.

Sensing his presence, Yuki looked at him through half-lidded golden eyes, heavy with lust. But instead of surprise and what Shuichi expected—panic, Yuki smirked evilly before saying in a sickeningly husky voice,

"Hi there Shu-chan." Shuichi can't help but squeeze his eyes shut at the mention of his name, tears forming at the edges of his eyes again. The smirk that graced Yuki's feature grew wider, and he thrust violently into Tohma's body. The smaller blonde's scream of ecstasy echoed through Shuichi's ears, and with all the strength he had, he opened his eyes and glared in their direction.

"How could you do this to me, Yuki?" he asked, voice shaking in anger and sadness. For a moment he sees Yuki's golden eyes soften a bit… there's even sadness in them. Assuring himself that it's just a hallucination, he waited patiently for the two evils to continue their 'business', all the while closing his eyes shut.

Finally their moans can't be heard anymore, and Shuichi opened his eyes just to see Yuki smirking at him.

"Tell me, Yuki!" he yelled as the tears fall from his eyes again. "How could you do this to me?"

A golden eyebrow furrowed rather suggestively. "Do what?"

He heard the painful sound of Tohma's chuckles, and went over to strangle him.

"This! How could you fuck this whore when you're with me?! What's wrong with me Yuki? Why can't I be good enough for you? Tell me, dammit!"

Shuichi punched Tohma repeatedly in the face and stomach, leaving the president breathless. When Yuki's strong hands fell to him, he stopped and got up from the bed. He gave Tohma an accusing glare, crossing his hands on his chest. The bleach blonde-haired guy glared back, hands flying to wipe the blood from his lips.

"You do realize you're making the biggest mistake of your life, don't you?" the president of NG said in a threatening low voice. "You're fired."

The pink-haired singer smirked before he growled back, "I'm fired, my ass! I'm out!" he yelled. "Now, answer me, Yuki!"

A huff escaped Yuki's lip and he ran a hand through his blonde hair. "You should have seen it coming, Brat," he answers finally. "I don't love you."

The words hit Shuichi like a sword, stabbing his heart over and over again until it stops beating. His amethyst eyes snapped open, revealing only pain and sadness in them.

"But…" he began, but Yuki's voice cut in.

"No buts, Shu. I don't love you, and I don't give a fuck whether you love me or not. You're just a toy for me, and honestly—I'm tired of it. Now that I have Tohma as my new fuck toy, why should I use you?"

Shuichi stared blankly when Tohma smirked, victory gleaming in his eyes. He'd not even flinched at the words 'fuck toy'… What a bitch, Shuichi thought angrily.

"So this is over, then..." Shuichi concluded, giving Yuki one last sad smile. Yuki's smirk faded, and once again Shu could see pain run through his eyes. But then again, for the man who'd just said the harshest words he'd ever heard—it's impossible.

"Yes."

The pink-haired boy never even flinched at the word. He will not give them the satisfaction of seeing him suffer, not again. He will not show the pain he feels inside, because he knows they will only take pleasure from it.

With one last stare at the two evils, he opens his suitcase and after packing all his things, he is gone.

--

Small hands delicately rubbed his back as the blonde-haired guy growled in frustration. He snapped the hand with his while glaring at the smaller blonde.

"Don't fucking touch me."

Tohma smile, ignoring the taller blonde's request as he continued to rub his back. Another minute passed by and he finally spoke up, "Looks like he's broken now, ne?"

Golden eyes furrowed in confusion, "Who?"

"Shuichi," Tohma answered easily, taking his hands off of the man before inspecting his manicured nails. "It's such a waste, really, since he's a brilliant singer at NG. But it's all worth the sacrifice…Eiri will be mine."

Golden eyes narrowed dangerously before the owner growled out, "You're evil, Tohma. Evil."

The said man only smirked before he hummed happily. Another moment of silence passed by before once again Tohma broke it. "But I'm still a good evil, ne?" he said while winking suggestively "If I'm not, then I'll give this tape to Ryuichi, Tatsuha."


	2. Chapter 2

**Truth behind the lies**

**Chapter 2: misunderstanding**

**--**

**Thanks my beta, Lanie 12777! :3**

**disc: i don't own gravitation... i just wish i did.**

--

_Words in italic are flashback_

--

Violet eyes widened in confusion, narrowed slightly by the light that captivated him. He tried to look straight into the blinding light, but failed miserably. He closed them for a brief moment and when he opened his eyes again, a tall, familiar figure was standing proudly in front of him. Golden eyes staring with total confidence, lips curved to a tiny smile while strong hands rest on a broad chest. He knows it too well, and he cursed himself for it. No matter how hard he tried to erase the memories of this man from his heart, he remained still. Because deep inside, he knows he still loves him. He still loves Yuki Eiri.

"Hi there, Shu-chan," the blonde whispers slowly, hand traveling to cup the younger man's cheeks. The stunned man could barely breathe when those hands lightly touch his cheeks, down to his jaw and collarbone. Amethyst eyes closed in contentment when the novelist's lips brushed his over sensitive ear, ever so slightly licking the lobe.

Shuichi couldn't help but moan at the soft caress, earning a chuckle from Yuki. He's about to stroke the blonde locks with his right hand when suddenly Yuki's voice stopped him.

"You're so easy to give in," the voice said in a mocking tone. Shuichi's eyes snapped open, and violet eyes gazed at the other man's smirking face. The hands that rest on the pink locks stopped their ministrations before Yuki spoke again.

"Good pet. But you're nothing for me now."

The voice said the words like they're the sweetest things in the world. Yuki gives him a small peck on the lips before turning around and walking away with small hands wrapped around his waist.

Tohma…

--

…ichi!

_How could he do this to me? Why?_

Shuichi…

_If I'm not good enough for him, then he can just tell me!_

"Earth to Shuichi!! Wake up, na no da!!"

A small body shakes ever so slightly before long eyelashes fluttered open, revealing amethyst orbs glimmering with unshed tears. Shuichi gazed over his surroundings while trying to catch his breath in shallow pants. Four ocean-blue walls surrounded him, who was lying breathlessly on a king-sized bed with pale purple sheets. When his eyes lock on to the familiar face of his idol, he lets out a relieved sigh and lays back more comfortably when the older man strokes his now raven locks lovingly. Since he decided to leave Japan and go to the USA with Ryuichi 2 years ago, he changed his style completely so no one can recognize him as Shuichi Shindou.

Because Shuichi Shindou is dead.

Since 2 years ago, when Yuki totally crushed his heart, he buried everything about Shuichi Shindou deep inside his heart. All about Yuki Eiri, NG, Bad Luck… except about Hiro, Suguru and Ryuichi. They're so precious to him, so there's no way in hell he can forget them. Or try to forget them.

However, no matter how hard Shuichi tried to erase Yuki from his memories, the young novelist remained in his mind. Every time, when he looks at blonde hair—which is common here 'cause it's the USA—flashbacks hit him immediately. He practically remembers the time when Yuki threw him from their—his apartment, when he clung to Yuki like a koala when begging to take him for a date, when he cried over silly things, when he and Yuki had a fight, all the good things and the bad things, and the worst thing—when Yuki kneeled atop Tohma, who was lying breathlessly under him.

The latter always being a nightmare he had to face every night.

So when he left Japan, Hiro continued his career as a doctor—as his parents wished. And Suguru continued with his school, since the boy dreams to be a professional keyboardist like his cousin… his evil cousin.

No one knows what exactly happened between him and the novelist, except Hiro and Ryuichi. He won't tell Suguru, not because he distrusts him, but because he doesn't want to crush the image of his perfect cousin.

Thinking about it again, it's funny to know that it's Ryuichi who knew it first than Hiro. A soft smile lingering on his rosy lips, his heavy eyelashes start closing again when he began replaying the memories of that time…

_--_

_Rain fell mercilessly to the earth, it doesn't care about the small figure that's shivering from the cold. The figure, a lithe body shaking uncontrollably with pink hair wet from the rain, wrapped his arms around his body to warm himself up.. But with the lack of clothes—a blue tank top with a small half-sleeve jacket that barely reached his navel and pink leather shorts, it's almost useless._

_His violet eyes gazing at the city lazily, he forced himself to stay awake when all he wanted to do is sleep. But he won't, because he's afraid he can't wake up anymore._

_For what seems like eternity, when his eyelashes feel so heavy and he's readying himself to face uncomfortable slumber, a lithe hand brushed his bangs that were covering half of his face suddenly. He looks up and was more than surprised to see wide, innocent eyes staring at him with pity and concern in them. He forced a smile to form on his blue lips before he finally gave up and closed his eyes. He feels warmth surround him when he stumbled instead of the hardness of the road, before everything turns black._

_--_

_The sudden sharp intake of breath is enough to tell the boy's awake. Ryuichi rushed over to his side, holding a small bowl in his little hands. He stares at his favorite boy who seems startled over his surroundings, and with a tap on his shoulder, he speaks up._

"_You're in my house now, Shuichi," he said in a more serious tone. It seems to startle the boy a bit, and he looks up rather uncertainly until he can see his idol's face through half-wet bangs. _

"_Sakuma-san?"_

_Hearing this, Ryuichi turned chibified, leaving his serious mode. He pouted cutely while putting the bowl on the nightstand before sitting on the edge of the bed where Shuichi lay._

"_Ryu already told shu-chan to call him Ryu-chan instead! It makes me feel old!" the green-haired male said, "or if it's better, you can call me Ryuichi!"_

_The pink-haired singer let out a tiny smile for his idol's antics.. It's enough to make Ryuichi relieved, though. Because at least, he can make Shu-chan happy and it's a real smile, not a forced one._

"_Sa… Ryuichi, why am I here?" the young singer asked, breaking the rather uncomfortable silence that surrounded them before._

_Ryuichi tilted his head to the side in a cute manner, as if he's confused._

"_What do you mean, Shu? Don't you remember what happened to you? What's the last thing you remember na no da?"_

"_The last thing I remember…" Shuichi tried, but immediately stopped. The last thing he remembers is Yuki thrusting violently into Tohma's body, two pairs of eyes staring at him mockingly. And the harsh words Yuki said…_

"_**I don't love you."**_

_No, he won't tell his idol that. Maybe Ryuichi will believe him, but he's Tohma's best friend and band mate. He won't break Ryuichi's image of Tohma, he will not cause anymore pain to anybody else._

"_It's okay, Shu-chan." The understanding tone of his idol's voice brought him back to reality, and before he knows it, Ryuichi's soft hands flew to wipe his tears. Since when had he been crying?_

"_I won't tell you to tell me what exactly is happening. But don't scare me like that again, Shu-chan! I almost peed in my pants when I saw you'd fainted!"_

_Shuichi's eyes widened in surprise, "I… did?"_

_Green hairs bobbed up and down in agreement. "Yup! I was looking for Kuma's new outfit 'cuz he had to attend a tea party tomorrow when I see you curled up in the corner of a dark alley! At first, I'm not sure it's Shu or not, but when I see your pink locks, I recognized them immediately," the older man explained. "So I asked you what's wrong, but instead of answering me… you collapsed."_

_More concern flashed over wide blue eyes, and Shuichi forced his lips to curve into a smile before saying softly, "Thank you."_

_It seems to satisfy the singer, and he pulls his hands off Shuichi's heart- shaped face. "Anytime, Shu-chan. Anytime…"_

"_Ano, Ryuichi…" Shuichi found himself asking, "how long have I been here?"_

"_Ummm… 2 hours? I dunno either," the idol replied. "Why? You want to go home now? I'll call Yuki-san. Or do you want me to drive you there?"_

_At the mention of his lover's name, Shuichi's eyes squeezed shut. The older man seems to notice—but instead of asking him what's wrong he ignores it. Shuichi will tell him sooner or later, and he won't force him to do that. He knows whatever happened to him is something bad, and he needs some time alone to heal his broken heart._

_Shuichi smiled again, amethyst eyes full of pretend happiness. "No, it isn't necessary. But can you do me a favor, Ryu?"_

_The green-haired guy's ears perked up at this, and he nodded excitedly. "Sure! What is it, Shu?"_

"_Can you find me some place to live?"_

--

"What are you smiling about, Shu-chan?"

Ryuichi's soft voice broke his train of thought, and Shuichi tilted his head to the side to see his idol's eyes full of concern.

"Nothing, Ryu-chan…" since 2 years of living with him, Shuichi found it more comfortable to call him Ryu-chan instead of Ryuichi. Otherwise, the older man always insists for him to do that, though.

"I just… suddenly I remember the time you found me. I'm really glad you did that, Ryu-chan. 'Cause if you hadn't, I may be dead now…"

Blue eyes widened in surprise and slight anger when he heard his friend's words. He can't blame him, though. It's true, if he hadn't found him that night… if he'd already been too late to save him, there would be no Shuichi anymore.

--

_**I'm tired…**_

_Those words keep replaying in Shuichi's mind, chanted repeatedly like a mantra. It's been two weeks since Ryuichi found a place for him to live, and his broken heart was still not healing. He's lucky the small apartment is far from Yuki's… cause if it's not, he may have given up now. Thinking about it again, maybe that's what he was going to do. Give up…_

_Ryuichi comes to his apartment at least twice a week to make sure he's okay. And when the idol would arrive, he always forced himself to smile, to fake a laugh and pretend to be happy. It's harder than it seems, but he managed it. He won't cause anyone problems, he keeps telling himself that._

_When he quit Bad Luck, Hiro and Suguru were more than surprised. Especially Hiro, 'cause he knows the boy's dream is to be a legend, like his idol Sakuma Ryuichi. But when they saw the sadness in Shuichi's eyes, they let it be. They quit Bad Luck too, 'cause there's no way they can move on without their lead singer. Shuichi already insisted for them to stay and find another singer instead, but they refused._

"_**We won't make music anymore without you, Shu. 'Cause it will never be the same—Bad Luck without their lead singer is nothing..."**_

_Shuichi remembers what his friends said, and that's enough to accompany him in his sorrow. But now he's tired… really tired. He can't take it anymore—the memories, betrayal, the evil laughter that was echoing through his mind, the cruel smiles… it's just too much. He really loves Yuki, and now that he knows the novelist doesn't… there's nothing left for him to live for. And that means he had a reason to die for…_

_Violet eyes widened in realization. That's right! If he can't be with Yuki… then he can't see him with another man either. He stood up from his small bed; his feet carried him to the tiny bathroom in the corner of the apartment._

_When he arrived there, he saw his own reflection in a small mirror that was nailed on the wall. He can't recognize it anymore… what had he become? Where are his once-gleaming eyes, where's the happy glimmer in them? It's funny how the words broke him completely… the pink- haired boy let out a dry laugh at that._

_Now he's turned pale, like the living dead. His violet eyes are darkened, empty, emotionless… but he doesn't care anymore.. What's the point of looking good if he's about to die anyway?_

_He produced a razor blade from the small box under the white marble sink, holding it with the tip of his finger as he stares at it admiringly. This tiny thing is his savior—the hero that will take him to the place with no pain. With it, he will be numb and he can forget Eiri… he finally can sleep in peace knowing he will not wake up anymore._

_He let a small smile form on his dry lips before heading to the bathtub, setting the water warm and sinking into it. He doesn't bother to take his clothes off, it will be embarrassing to be found naked in your death. And he doesn't leave a note either—he knows from films if someone commits suicide, they will leave a note to someone first. What's the point of doing it if he knows no one will find—or try—to find it? He doesn't have anything now, except the reason to die. Hiro and Suguru, they deserve to be happy… so he will never bother them anymore. Ryuichi too, he won't be a burden to him. And Yuki… if he can't love him back, then he'd rather die._

_With the last thought of his ex-lover, he slit the razor slowly on his wrist, watching in amazement when the skin turns even paler before the crimson liquid formed on the bruised skin, then slowly starts pouring. It will be beautiful… drowning in a pool of pink. He loves pink._

_He does it again, adding more pressure this time. Another slash followed by another, and he does the same thing to his other wrist. When his breaths come in shallow pants and his head feels dizzy, he stopped his actions._

_YUKI_

_The name is carved in his wrist before he realizes it. Tears formed in the backs of his eyes again, and he took a deep breath before his eyes closed—hoping it's the last breath he will ever take._

--

"Ryu-chan? What's wrong?" Shuichi asked uncertainly when he saw his idol cry. The said man turned his head to his direction, watching him through puzzled eyes. "Hm? What did I do? Nothing's wrong… oh!" Ryuichi grinned sheepishly while wiping the overflowing tears from his blue orbs, "I don't know why I'm crying, Shu-chan! I just… remember that time again."

Shuichi smiled. "It seems like we had the same flashback, ne?" the younger man said in a teasing manner. "But don't worry about it, Ryu-chan. I'm here now… I won't try to leave anymore…"

--

_Ryuichi hummed happily to himself as he listened to the soft sounds of the car's engine. He's on his way to Shuichi's apartment—he doesn't know why, but he felt a sudden urge to meet with the younger boy. Finally the rather huge, glorious building—where Shuichi's apartment was—could be seen, and he let out a happy squeak before ordering the driver to drive faster. The old man replied with a nod, and in a few seconds, Ryuichi throws himself into an elevator._

_124…125…126… here it is!_

_The green-haired man knocked on the door—soft, but it could be heard._

_After knocking a few times and he still doesn't get any answer, Ryuichi decided to start shouting and pounding on the door. The effect is still the same—despite the protest from Shuichi's neighbors. _

_He finally produces a key from his breast pocket—concern flooded through his brain when he thinks about the possibilities. Maybe Shuichi is hurt… but he reassured himself that the pink-haired boy just fell asleep or is in the shower._

_His gaze falls to the empty room; there's no sign of Shuichi there. He walks toward the other room—panicked—and stops dead in his tracks when he saw pink liquid flowing from the bathroom…Could it be?_

_Ignoring the voice in the back of his mind that is saying that is Shuichi's blood, mixing with the plain water—he ran as fast as he could to the bathroom._

_Blue eyes widened when it falls to the sight before him… Shuichi, drowning in a marble bathtub, pink liquid surrounding him—there's some falling on the floor too. The boy's body is buried completely in it, just a few strands of pink hair peeking from the water's surface. Ryuichi slid down to the cold floor, fear, concern, pain, hurt, concern—he feels it all—his emotions blending in wide blue eyes._

_After taking a deep breath he stood up, once again ignoring the part of him that was saying Shuichi had already died… Shuichi is gone…_

_NO!_

"_Shuichi, Shuichi… wake up!" the older man said, dropping his childish façade. He pressed his ear to the boy's chest, since his wrist was bruised brutally while searching for his cell phone from his backpack. He let out a relieved sigh when he hears the faint sounds of the boy's heartbeat… he thanks god it's not too late._

_After calling for an ambulance he holds the boy bridal-style, putting him on the bed gently while pressing his ripped clothes to the boy's wrists to prevent any more bleeding. _

_YU_

_He saw the two letters on the pink-haired singer's left wrist, and the instant he realized it, he turned around to examine the other wrist._

_KI_

_YUKI…_

_He should have known there's something wrong between them. He'd already promised to himself and Shuichi that he will watch over him… and he'd failed. Guilt formed in his heart, squeezing his chest tightly so he almost cries in agony. But he won't cry, he'll be strong for both of them._

"_I'll protect you, Shu-chan. And when you wake up, you better have a good reason why you did this…"_

--

Ryuichi choked back a sob, earning a concerned look from the younger male. He feels small hands reaching for him, cupping his face softly before brushing the green bangs that hide his eyes.

"Don't cry, Ryu-chan, please don't cry…"

Even when the raven-haired says so, tears are still pouring from his closed eyes, along with the boy's own tears.

_--_

_He'd never felt this way before—the fear—it just too much for him to handle. It's been 2 hours since the doctor dragged Shuichi to the ICU room, saying he's in a coma now. It's been 2 hours since he'd been crying, blaming himself for all of this. He already called Hiro, and the red-haired guy is probably on the way now. Ryuichi decided to just call him, he doesn't call Tohma and Eiri because whatever happened to Shuichi, it has something to do with them. _

_2 weeks ago, he was surprised at first when he heard Shuichi quit Bad Luck—which led to the band's dispersal anyway. When Shuichi said this to Tohma, he saw hatred cloud in the boy's violet eyes—even if Shuichi tried to hide it by faking a smile. But he doesn't bother to ask the boy why, he keeps telling himself Shuichi will tell him if he's ready._

_But now, he will force Shuichi to tell him what exactly happened, whether the boy wanted to or not._

"_Sakuma-san!" he heard someone's voice called, and tilted his head to the side to see Hiro kneeling in front of him. The red-haired doctor is still trying to catch his breath, asking him what happened to Shuichi between shallow pants._

"_He… he tried to commit suicide," Ryuichi answered sadly, wincing at the bitter taste as the words flew from his lips._

_Grey eyes widened, Hiro looks into the other's __watery eyes__ before he whispered softly, mostly to himself. "No way…"_

_Ryuichi held the other male's shaking body, then kneeled in front of him to give the poor guy a comforting embrace. He feels Hiro gripping his shoulders tightly, burying his head into his chest. He closed his eyes when he heard Hiro keep asking why, and like himself—the redhead was blaming himself for all the things that had happened to Shuichi._

_When Hiro calmed down a bit, he let the guy go from his embrace and sat on the chair again._

"_Please sit down, Nakano-san. You look exhausted."_

_He notices the wide gray eyes widened even further—probably the guy is surprised to his change of attitude. He doesn't care if he looks scary now—he won't use the 'chibi-Ryuichi' side at this moment. Not when his best friend is in a coma, struggling from death._

_An hour passed by, and finally a bald, middle-aged doctor come from the ICU. Ryuichi and Hiro immediately rushed over there, demanding the man to tell them what happened._

"_He survived from the coma, but he's still in critical condition now," the doctor said after Ryuichi reassured him they're Shu's relatives. "Even so, there are possibilities for him to survive. It depends on his will, though."_

_At this, the two other males raised their eyebrows in unison._

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Well, from the scars on his wrists, he may try to commit suicide.. Someone who tries to end their life this way must be under pressure or in depression now. Shindou-san is broken both mentally and physically—if someone doesn't try to help him he may… try to go," the bald man explained, earning soft nods from Hiro and Ryuichi. "However, we already tried our best to save him—physically—and I suppose you could help him, since you're his relatives. Try to talk to him and help him through it all—that way, he can heal completely."_

_Ryuichi nodded enthusiastically, his spirit lit up when the doctor said his friend could survive. _

"_So when we can see him, doc?" the green-haired male said, nibbling on Kuma's ears that went almost unnoticed. It helps him to calm his nerves, after all._

"_You may go see him now, but please be quiet. He needs proper sleep and rest."_

_After saying thank you and bowing to each other, Ryuichi practically flew to the room while Hiro remained to talk to the doctor. Ryuichi almost forgot that Hiro is also a doctor now, so they were probably discussing medical things. He chose to see Shuichi instead of follow Hiro, 'cause he doesn't understand what they're saying. Otherwise, he couldn't wait to see him anymore._

_He closed the door softly, hearing the soft 'clack' when it hit the frame. His small feet approach Shuichi slowly, watching the boy lying almost lifelessly with an I.V and oxygen mask on. He looks so thin under the thick blanket—maybe he'd been starving himself._

_When he arrived at the bed's side, he held the boy's hand in his, clutching it tightly before whispering,_

"_Hold on, Shuichi…"_

_--_

_Ryuichi couldn't believe what he'd just heard. Did Shuichi just say that Yuki cheated…with Tohma?_

"_I told you, Sakuma-san. You wouldn't believe me…" the boy said so softly it almost went unnoticed, but Ryuichi quickly stared at Shuichi with a reassuring glance._

"_No, I believe you, Shu-chan! It's just… I can't believe Tohma could do this to you…"_

_Shuichi's response was hummed in agreement, though he knows so well the blonde could do anything to satisfy his needs._

"_So that's why you quit Bad Luck? Why didn't you tell me before? Does Shuichi… distrust Ryu?" the older man said, turning to chibi again. Shuichi give him a slight smile, still too exhausted to speak. He just shook his head no._

"_Oh, I know! Shu's just afraid I don't believe him, isn't he? But don't worry, I believe Shu more than Tohma!"_

_The pink-haired boy nodded, and mouthed a silent thank you to his idol. He was so grateful to know there's someone who still cares for him… he's not alone after all. Ryuichi already informed him that Hiro's out to buy lunch and pocky for him. _

"_So what're you planning next, Shu-chan?"_

_When the boy remained silent, Ryuichi decided to speak up again._

"_I know! You can go to America with me! We'll make a new band and we'll rock again!!"_

--

And Ryuichi proved his promise, Shuichi thought happily. It's been two years since he and Ryuichi created a band called Vladester. He doesn't know why, but the name sounds cool to his ears… and with his other band mates, Zack and Matt, they made it to be on top of the charts again.

Suddenly the phone rang and Ryuichi wiped his tears before he stood up to answer it.

Seconds later, the green-haired man reappears again, holding a portable telephone in his hand.

"This is for you, Shu-chan. From Hiro."

Shuichi quickly sat up, reaching for the phone enthusiastically. Ryuichi smiled, chuckling a bit when he saw the happy sparkle in Shuichi's eyes again. Maybe he could be shiny again…

"Hello?"

"Shuichi! Let's reunite!"


	3. Reunion

**Truth behind the lies  
**

**Chapter 3: Reunion**

**--**

**Thanks to Lanie 12777 for beta-ing this story!!!**

**disc: Maki Murakami own gravitation. not me.... -.-**

--

"Reunite?" Shuichi repeats, as if he doesn't believe what he just heard. He hears the soft hum of Hiro's agreement on the other line, before the said man speaks up again.

"Well, not reunited, it's just like a reunion concert, ya know? I've told Suguru and he said it's okay… depending on your answer. So?"

Shuichi was still staring blankly, the wall looking appealing now.. Had he just heard it right? Hiro knows what happened between him and Yuki! And if there's a reunion concert of Bad Luck, it must be in Japan since it's where they come from. And if he goes to Japan again… he's afraid he'll meet Yuki.

"Nah, Hiro. I'll pass. You can go without me," Shuichi answered after a brief moment of silence.

"What? No way! I've told you before; Bad Luck without you is nothing!"

"But I won't, Hiro! You know… Yuki…"

On the other line, Hiro frowned. So this is about Yuki again. It's been two years… why can't Shuichi just forget that damned novelist? Um, ex-novelist anyway… since Shuichi left Japan he'd also quit his job as a novelist. Nobody knows why—he avoids those questions every time someone asks him.

"Forget him, Shuichi. It's not good for you—let bygones be bygones. You have to move on… or is it because you won't see me and Suguru again?"

"NO!"

Hiro winced, holding the phone far from his ears to avoid the brat's yell.

"Okay, no need to scream, Shu…" he said. "So, whatcha think? Please, Shu… it's been two years since I touched a guitar… I've really missed it, you know? Don't you miss me? Miss Suguru? Miss Japan?"

"I… don't know. I'll tell Sakuma-san first."

Satisfied with his best friend's answer, Hiro hung up after saying good-bye. Ryuichi looks at him questioningly, waiting patiently for the boy to speak up.

"Hiro said he's making a reunion concert… in Japan."

Ryuichi's face turned from puzzled to what seems like anger. Hiro knows what happened to them… why did he have to do this? Is he wanting to see Shuichi suffer again? It's impossible… that guy loves Shuichi like his own brother… but why?

He heard the boy ask him what he was supposed to do, but instead of answering it, he remained silent. He's afraid if Shuichi goes to Japan and meets Yuki again, he'll break down again. After two years of trying to cheer the boy up, he doesn't want one stupid reunion concert to break it all.

"I don't know, Shu-chan," he answers half-heartedly. "I'll support whatever choice you make… it depends on you now."

Shuichi sat on the bed's edge, leaning against the wall while burying his head in his hands. He propped a pillow to rest his elbows on, thinking deeply.

Truth be told, Shuichi still loves Yuki. He knows it, Ryuichi knows it too. But he couldn't take the consequence of facing the man he loves and hates the most… he doesn't want to feel the pain and be stuck on the breaking point again.

Yet some parts of him say it's okay, it's gonna be fine…

"Ryu-chan," he asked suddenly, startling the older man.

"Huh?"

"Will you accompany me to Japan?"

--

Tick… tock… tick… tock…

He heard the soft sounds of the clock echoing through the empty room, frowning in frustration while glaring at it. He saw the circle thing stare back, glaring while letting out the same annoying, mocking sounds.

Tick… tock… tick… tock…

As if it told him time keeps running out.

Tick... tock… tick… tock…

As if it told him he is already too late.

Tick… tock… tick… tock…

As if it told him he can't turn back time.

Tick… tock… tick...

"SHUT UP!!!"

He grabbed the desk lamp from the nightstand, throwing it to the wall where the clock was nailed and watching in satisfaction when the poor thing fell, scattered on the floor. He let a triumphant smirk form on his lips before grabbing a half-empty wine bottle and took a huge swallow from it.

Golden eyes winced—eyes furrowed when the bittersweet taste of wine touched his tongue. He felt the expensive liquid burning his throat, giving him the strange sensation of sweet torture.

"You shouldn't hurt yourself like this, Eiri-san."

He heard another voice echoing again, and went to see what he could throw to shut it up. It sounded more annoying than before—and he couldn't see anything he could use. His desk lamp was already destroyed… mirror already shattered, pillow nearly broken, and desk… no, it's too heavy.

He gives up, letting the voice speak again. It sounds louder than before, noticing the owner of that annoying voice—Tohma—approach him.

"Stop this, Eiri-san. He will not come back."

He turned around angrily, glaring through half-lidded golden eyes to the smaller blonde's direction. After a long time of silence and a glare competition he let out a loud, dry laugh.

"He will not come back?" Eiri said in a sickeningly mocking voice, taking a gulp from the now almost empty bottle before retorting again, "How dare you tell me that? You don't understand... Shuichi wouldn't leave me. The brat loves me too much to leave me!!!"

Tohma shook his head, massaging his throbbing temples in a near-headache. It's been 2 years since he manipulated their relationship, but Yuki still couldn't forget the brat... no matter how hard he tried to replace him, the chamber in Yuki's heart is still empty—the chamber which only Shuichi could fill.

But he won't give up. He's Tohma Seguchi—and Tohma Seguchi always gets what he wants.

"If he wants to come back, Eiri, then why's it been two years now?" the president whispers ever so softly in Eiri's oversensitive ears, smirking when he felt the blonde shudder. The smirk fade when he saw Eiri reach for his pocket—grabbing a velvet box from it.

"So what if I had to wait?" Yuki said, staring at the box through sad golden orbs. "I'll wait forever if it takes, just to put this on the brat's finger."

--

_Yuki Eiri actually felt a real smile spreading on his face, watching in satisfaction at the velvet box in his hands. Tonight he'll surprise Shuichi by proposing to him—that's why he bought the ring. It's so beautiful—a silver ring with pink diamonds on the top with their names carved on the surface. When he was on tour, it made him think about the pink-haired idiot… to his surprise it really was hard to live without him, even just for six days. He still couldn't actually say he loves him, but he knows Shuichi will understand. It will change as the time goes by, though. He knows the brat will be waiting until he's ready to open his heart completely._

_He put the box back in his pocket when the stewardess announced the plane will land soon. Finally he's in Japan again… Finally he could see the brat again. He let out another smile that graced his features, causing several women to giggle and blush. But this smile isn't for them… it's for Shuichi only. The thought makes him lock his jaw together, even though his heart is ready to burst because of the overbearing happiness._

_The blonde-haired novelist stopped a taxi, and after giving the driver his directions, he lay back on the backseat. He couldn't help but feel the strange sensation in his stomach… is he nervous? Is he afraid Shuichi will reject him?_

_Nah, the brat loves me too much to reject it…he reassures himself of that. But still, there's a strange jolt in his stomach every time he thinks about the boy again. He'd already left him so many times before, made him cry a thousand times, broke his heart a million times…there's a possibility he won't accept it. There's a possibility he will leave him instead, just like he did to him before._

_He quickly brushed the thought off of his mind. No, Shuichi will wait for me … he'll be there forever for me…_

_--_

_Yuki pressed the elevator's button rather excitedly, staring at his watch to see the time. It's already 10p.m. Shuichi must be home now. Unless the brat went out with Hiro or something—which is impossible—'cause he'd already told him that he'll arrive tonight. By the shriek he got when he told Shuichi that, he was sure Shuichi is ecstatic to see him back._

_The elevator dinged before the door snapped open; Yuki stepped forward to his apartment. He searched for his key in his breast pocket, and after he found it he unlocked the door rather enthusiastically. To his surprise, the apartment is awfully dark, no sign of the brat alive._

"_Shuichi?" he called as he searched for the lamp button. Light flickered around the living room where he stood in disbelief when he finds it empty._

_Where's the brat now? I told him I'd arrive tonight…he thought begrudgingly. But instead of calling his lover, he headed toward the bedroom to sleep after locking the front door._

--

_It's been three whole days now, and yet there's no sign of his pink ball of energy._

_He'd already told Tohma to find him, but the president of NG informed him that he'd already quit Bad Luck and since then, he'd never see him again._

_When he heard Tohma informing him of this, he felt a strange sensation burning in his heart… Anger? Pain? Sadness?_

_He felt emotions run through his heart, yet his golden orbs keep staring blankly. He even doesn't notice when Tohma raised his hand to hide the smirk that he couldn't help but form on his face._

"_But I'll try my best to find him, Eiri-san. That's my promise."_

_And for the first time in his life, Tohma breaks his promise._

_--_

"You have to face this fact sooner or later, Eiri." Tohma's voice interrupted his train of thought, and Eiri turns around to find Tohma throwing a magazine at him.

"Read this, and you will understand. He's with Ryuichi now."

Yuki grabbed the magazine, scanning it through piercing golden eyes as he saw the familiar face of his lover smiling while wrapping his hand around someone's shoulder. That someone is none other than Ryuichi Sakuma, his band mate…

"Band mate?" he read out loud. "You never told me this, Tohma. Is this Ryuichi guy one of your friends?"

"Yeah, he was the singer of Nittle Grasper back then, but since Shuichi left, I've never see him either," the president said in a sickeningly soft voice. "I suspect he brought Shuichi to the US… and now we have proof that it's right. Forget him, Eiri. You deserve more than him."

Yuki was just about to deny it when he read the words on the page of the magazine… it says that Ryuichi and Shuichi are dating. Is Tohma right? He tries to believe that it isn't true, but yet there's a part of him saying it's right. But the question is why had Shuichi left him and never called him or anything?—he even went so far by getting all his stuff from their apartment. As if Shuichi never even existed in the first place, as if Shuichi never entered his life…

The only thing that makes him believe it's not a dream is his lighter where the picture of him and Shuichi on their first date is plastered on it. He never used it again, just stared at their happy picture 'cause he's afraid he'll break the thing that makes him feel near his lover.

"Forget him, Eiri." Tohma says again, firmly this time. "I… I can do better than him. Just give me the chance, and I'll erase the memories of him from your mind…"

--

Yuki Eiri is not the only guy who suffered when Shuichi left Japan.

There's some other guy—the Yuki Eiri look-alike—none other than his own brother, Tatsuha Uesugi.

Mika, their older sister, is already giving up the idea of cheering her brothers up. She herself also suffered 'cause of her divorce with Tohma a year ago, though she doesn't know why the blonde did that. She watched with sad eyes as Tatsuha squirmed in his sleep, muttering something under his breath.

Must be a nightmare, she thought, and stroked the monk's hair softly to calm him down. It seems to work—the boy slowly opened his eyes and Mika is more than surprised to see unshed tears glimmering in them.

"Tatsuha? Are you okay?" she asks rather uncertainly. Her brother looks up, staring at her in confusion before his mind wakes up completely.

"Yeah… I'm just… it's just a nightmare," he answered while wiping the beads of sweat from his forehead. Mika nodded in understanding, all the while rubbing her little brother's back.

"Thank you, Mika," she heard her brother say. She nodded again, giving him a smile that she rarely does.

"I know it must be hard… since your divorce with Seguchi…" Tatsuha couldn't help but grimace at the mention of the man's name. He suddenly remembers the time when the blonde forced him to fuck him, just to break Shuichi down. He remembers the way Shuichi stared at him through broken eyes, remembers the tears of agony that slipped from those marvelous violet orbs. He also remembers the harsh words that he threw at the poor man, just to hide his secret from Ryuichi.

How he wanted to tell Yuki what exactly happened that night, why the pink- haired brat left him and went to the US. But he's a coward—he's afraid to face the response from his brother. Damn, the blonde ex-novelist might kill him if he found out…

Speaking of the ex-novelist, he's one of several people who knew the reason why Yuki quit his job. Since Shuichi left Japan, Yuki is too busy drowning in his sorrow that he doesn't have any intention to move on.

He also heard Shuichi and Ryuichi formed a band called Vladester... and thinks about it again; it's all because of him.

He's the reason why Yuki's broken.

He's the reason why Shuichi left.

He's the reason why Mika got divorced from Tohma.

He's the reason why Ryuichi also left Japan…

The latter gives him a sudden urge to cry. He did this for Ryuichi…but the green-haired man never knew it because Tohma let him go. Sure, the president of NG didn't break his promise by giving him the tape back, but it's all nothing 'cause in the end, Ryuichi is still gone.

"Yeah, it's hard sometimes… but I have to move on, you know? I won't grieve over it for a long time like you and Eiri did… please, Tatsuha… whatever happened to you, don't let it break you down."

He tries to do that, but he can't. The guilt in his heart is too overbearing, and he had no choice but to drown in it. Letting regret consume him slowly, though he knows it will change nothing.

"If you need someone to talk to just tell me, okay? I may not be a good sister or an expert counselor, but I hope I can help you. Right?"

The boy nodded, giving Mika a slight smile—a real one this time.

"Thanks, Mika. You've changed…"

"Huh?"

"Three years ago, if I was depressed, you wouldn't cheer me up. You'd just kick my butt and yell at me for being a coward, instead."

Mika laugh at that, ruffling her brother's raven hair playfully. Tatsuha gave her a look, but let her do it anyway.

"Time changes people, my dear brother. Since Tohma left me, I decided to be more mature…"

Tatsuha noticed the sad glimmer in his sister's dark eyes and once again, a pang of guilt gripped his chest tightly. If only he hadn't done that stupid plan…

"But if it makes you feel better, I'll just kick your butt and say you're a coward!"

Now it's time for Tatsuha to laugh, though he doesn't know why. For a strange reason his sister's words actually relieved him…he feels lighter this time.

"Mika…" he almost tells the girl what happened 2 years ago, but stopped instantly. He couldn't take the pain if someone hates him again…Mika is the only one who cares for him now.

"Huh?"

"Can I go watch TV?"

Nice move, Tatsuha. You're an idiot.

Mika shot him a look, but nodded eventually. "Don't bother to ask. The TV's in front of you, you know," the brown-haired female said. "So I guess I'll just leave you then? Call me if you need anything."

Tatsuha nodded, watching his sister head outside the room before out of his sight completely. The young monk sighed, burying his face in his hands. Regret overflowed him, and he couldn't help but sob a little. How could he be so foolish by doing that stupid plan? All just to hide his secret from Ryuichi… just to get the tape back. But now that he already has it back, then what? He just caused pain to everybody else.

He reach for the remote on a nightstand, turns the TV on and set it to a music channel. That way maybe he could see Shuichi or Ryuichi again, though not face-to-face. He heard some anonymous band singing a rather cool song so he decides to leave it on as he closed his eyes and lay back.

But before he had a chance to sleep, a high-pitched shriek startled him. He looks around to find the source of that strangely familiar voice, but found Shuichi's face filling the TV screen instead. Though the once pink-haired brat dyed his hair to his natural color, he can recognize him by his wide lavender eyes and goofy grin. And what makes him happier is the one who's standing beside Shuichi, a green-haired male with childish features—though he wears black sunglasses, Tatsuha swears it's Ryuichi. They're standing with two other males who Tatsuha can't name, 'cause he'd never see them before. Probably Zack and Matt, their other band mates. A bunch of reporters and rabid fans surrounded them, and they had to walk faster and answering their questions sometimes.

"Just… wait for us, okay? It will be held tonight at 8 p.m., so I hope you guys will come!" he heard Shuichi say. What will be held? The raven-haired boy read the words on his TV screen, and nearly screamed.

Bad Luck reunion concert.

He said it's at 8 p.m., didn't he? the monk thought happily, looking at the watch on his wrist. It read 6 p.m., and he quickly grabbed his cell phone to call his brother.

Maybe he could make things right now.

--

"What do you mean, Tohma?" Eiri asked the smirking man in front of him.

"You heard me right, Eiri," the blonde said, smirking even wider than before. "I could be your lover, and I'll be better than Shindou-san.. If only you'd give me the chance, Eiri. Just try to open your heart again—'cause Shuichi will never come back."

There he said it again, Eiri thought angrily. He was just about to retort back when the phone ringing suddenly interrupted them. Sensing it's his chance to escape Tohma and his madness, he quickly walks away—leaving Tohma pouting.

"What?" he said when seeing Tatsuha's phone number displayed on the screen. But instead of hearing his brother complain, he heard a happy shriek from the other line.

"Aniki! Get your lazy ass out of there now! Shuichi's back!"

The blonde choked; he couldn't believe what he'd just heard. Is it true? Shuichi is back?

"What do you mean?"

"They're holding a reunion concert, Aniki! He's in Japan now!" the monk explained ecstatically. "Now it's time for you to make things right again—meet him, Aniki. You love him right?"

"Just where the hell will the concert be held?"

After remembering the directions his brother gave, Eiri hung up the phone calmly—though inside he feels so happy it makes him oblivious to the piercing gaze from Tohma. The smaller man grabs his cell phone from his pants pocket, pressing the button while glaring at Yuki's back.

"It's Seguchi. I need your help."

--

Shuichi let out a happy shriek when he saw the sight in front of him. There's a bunch of traditional food that he never ate in the US… oh how he missed it! He almost drooled before he began ravishing the food right here and then.

"Excited, Shu?" he heard the familiar voice of his best friend say.. The raven- haired boy popped a salmon into his mouth, chewing it happily before answering, "Nope. Starving!"

It caused the red-haired guy to laugh, and so did Suguru . The only one who didn't seem to be fooled by his façade is Ryuichi, who was watching him intently through critical blue eyes.

"What time is it?" Suguru asked suddenly, breaking the silence. Hiro looked at his watch that was wrapped around his wrist before saying out loud, "Almost 7 p.m.; eat faster, would you? We have to get ready at 7:15 straight."

Hearing this, Suguru shrieked. "7:15?! Oh my god, I haven't gotten anything ready yet! I'll get going now, okay?"

And with that, the bluish-haired male was practically running—dashing the door open and immediately out of sight.

Ryuichi, for some odd reason, thinks that Shuichi and Hiro need some time alone so he said after swallowing a cup of sake, "Well, I'll get ready too. See you at Tokyo dome, then?"

Hiro and Shuichi let out similar goofy grins—though Shuichi's is goofier. Tonight they will reach their dream—to play live at Tokyo dome where more crowds will be waiting for them. They wave a hand ecstatically to Ryuichi, though the said man had already left the room when they were stuck on their daydreaming.

"So, Shuichi…" Hiro said finally, breaking the rather uncomfortable silence around them. Maybe it feels a little uncomfortable because it's been way too long since they met. "What made you change your mind?"

Shuichi swallowed the rice ball, munching at it happily before saying, "I want to forget Yuki."

One delicate red eyebrow raised; Hiro looks at him oddly in a confused manner. "What'd you mean? Won't it be harder to forget him when you're in the same state as him? Not that I'm not happy with your choice, Shuichi—I really need Bad Luck reunited. But if it's all too sudden and too much for you, I can understand that."

"Hey, what's with you? The last thing I remember is you insisting on me and using our friendship to blackmail me!" Shuichi said teasingly, earning a blush and grin from his best friend. "But it's okay, really. Thinking about it again, it's been ages since I left Yuki so I thought why don't I erase him completely from my heart? I came to Japan because I think if I could face my fears, then it will go away. I just hope I won't break down instead—poor Ryu-chan doesn't need to take care of me again. He's just too kind…"

"Right. Speaking of Ryuichi, how long have you two been dating?" Hiro asked, winking seductively. Shuichi's eyes widened when hearing his best friend's words. He and Ryuichi… are dating? How had he come up with that idea?

"Who said we're dating? We're just friends, you know… No, more like a brother for each other. If I love him, Hiro, it will be just a brotherly love. The kind you have when you want to protect me, that's it," Shuichi explained. Hiro doesn't seem to believe what he just said but fortunately he just shrugged, signaling he'd dropped the topic.

"Does it mean you still love Yuki?"

Shuichi already predicted that Hiro would ask that question, but his heart still ached when he heard it. He'd already prepared an answer too—but it's gone when his heart cried again.

Fortunately his cellphone rang, so he doesn't have to answer Hiro. Though the red-haired guy hates to be ignored—at a time like this he can't do anything but to let it go.

Grabbing his black cellphone from his pocket, Shuichi pressed the green button to answer the call.

"Hello?"

"Shuichi, where the hell are you? Come get your lazy ass here, don't forget to bring Suguru and Hiro too!"

The dark-haired male rolled his eyes in annoyance. It must be K—since he found out about Bad Luck's reunion he offered himself as manager again. Not that Shuichi hated it, but the gun man seems scarier nowadays.

"Yeah, yeah… I'll just finish my dinner first. It wont take too long—and Suguru is on the way. See you at 7:20, then?"

"7:20. Or I'll shoot you with my baby!"

And with that last warning K hung up, leaving Shuichi pouting. It's been two years but the blonde's attitude hasn't changed at all—only to be more frightening. He quickly shoves the rest of his meal on the table, ignoring the look Hiro shot him. The kind of look that said, 'are you hungry or mad?'

When the last piece of sushi salmon had been wasted, he stood up after swallowing a cup of mineral water. "Okay, Hiro! Let's rock!!!"

And Hiro, practically being dragged outside, grinned when he saw his best friend's antics back. Maybe it's not too late after all…

--

A black Mercedes dashed off the road at 100 km/h, practically ignoring the red lights or stop signs. The driver—none other than Yuki Eiri—inhaled his cigarette nervously to calm down his nerves. If he'd heard it right—Tatsuha said Shuichi will be at Tokyo Dome now at 8 p.m. That leaves him 25 minutes to get there, luckily his apartment wasn't too far from there. If he arrives there, he swears he'll ask the boy to live with him again no matter what.

He was so deep in thought he doesn't even realize when the blinding light of a truck's lamp comes straight at his car. He tried to avoid it, hitting the brakes several times but the car still won't stop. Finally when the black metal hit the truck, all he saw was light and the familiar face of his lover smiling at him.

--


	4. dirge, music of death

**Truth behind the lies**

**Chapter 4: dirge, music of death**

--

way too long since i updated... gomen!!!

thank you for Lanie 12777 for beta-ing this story ^^

--

_Why's everything black? And… where the hell is Shuichi? I swear I see him_

_smiling at me… Now how could he go that fast? I have to find him…_

_I have to find him and beg for forgiveness._

_Though I don't know where I did it wrong, but I'm sure the reason of our break up is me…_

_No, not break up. We're still lovers._

_But will he say the same when he sees me now?_

_After two years have passed by, is he still the same forgiving Shuichi?_

_Well, I don't really give a shit. The most important thing is I have to find Shuichi first._

_But why is it my legs still don't move? And my arms hurt…Hell, a storm's even spinning in my head…_

_I have to move…I'll be damned If I can't meet Shuichi now…_

--

"He's breathing!" a bald, middle-aged man suddenly barked. Everyone's attention quickly turned to him, including the attention of one certain Tohma Seguchi. The bleach-blonde man had eyes that glimmered with unshed tears—regret and pain reflected clearly in them. He immediately walked as fast as his feet could go, kneeling beside a stretcher where Yuki's body was lying almost lifelessly. He grasps the ex-novelist man's pale hand in his, holding it tightly as if he was afraid to let him go.

"fuck you Aizawa…" the smaller blonde said, voice barely above a whisper. If someone hears him they may be freaked out—because this is THE Tohma Seguchi who's talking. The polite, kind and mannerly Tohma Seguchi, who never lets a dirty word slip from his lips. But now his mind is too preoccupied with his brother-in-law's safety, otherwise because he's the one who's causing it. He's the one who asked Taki Aizawa to 'hurt' Yuki a bit, in order to prevent him from attending the concert. But as usual Aizawa always had the control slip from his hands and now he had to face the worst consequences—his brother-in-law's death. Sure, he never wants to think about that. But then again, when he saw his love's bloody form—that thought quickly appeared in his mind. The ex-novelist even stopped breathing for a moment, and when he learned about that his heart suddenly stops beating. Luckily now he's already breathing again—maybe there's a possibility he'll survive. He doesn't know where Yuki got those marvelous strengths but he gives thanks to whatever god to bring him back to consciousness again.

"Excuse me, sir, but we need to bring him to the hospital," the same bald man said, interrupting his train of thought. Tohma quickly wipes the stubborn tears that fall form his eyes with the back of his hand before he stood up and took several deep breaths to calm himself down. "Will he survive?" the small blonde asked, watching through broken eyes when the medical officers bring the stretcher to the ambulance.

"We don't know about that yet," the bald man said. "But when he arrives at the hospital, we'll see. Just pray for his safety—we'll do

our best."

And with that, the man walked away, leaving Tohma alone. He couldn't help but think about why this is happening… He needs to blame someone other than himself. No, the guilt of knowing he's the one who almost brought the one he loves to death is too overbearing… He had to find someone else to blame…

Thinking about it again, why did he ask Aizawa to 'hurt' his Yuki anyway?

Oh yeah, so he couldn't go to that stupid reunion concert. And who's the one who made that reunion concert?

Shuichi Shindou.

Yes. That pink-haired brat is the only one who can take the blame… he's the reason why Yuki is in critical condition now.

And that thought brings one conclusion to his head:

He had to kill Shuichi.

--

"Bad Luck!!!"

Those words keep echoing through the crowded hall, along with blinding stage lights and hysterical screams. A pair of lavender eyes peek from the red curtain rather curiously—and the owner almost freaks out when he sees how crowded the place is.

"Wow! They all came here just to see us?" Shuichi said in a high-pitched, girly voice. Hiro, his best friend, give him two thumbs up before answering excitedly, "Hell yeah they did!!!"

Shuichi still stared at the crowd in awe, his mind full of the thought of this amazing concert. He was even oblivious to the dark eyes that were staring at him ragingly, burning a hole right through his back. However, Shuichi is not that oblivious. He's more than aware of thepenetrating gaze whoever was throwing him, and just about to turn around when Hiro'swords stop him.

"Weeelll, let's go out there and rock em out, shall we?" the red-haired mansaid, offering him a hand and giving him a reassuring pat on the back. It makes Shuichi let out a goofy grin and small chuckle before Hiro dragged him outside the closed curtain.

But before he left the backstage he swore he saw a man holding a gun in his hand, smirking while letting the shadows hide his appearances.

--

_"Hold on, sir!"_

_And here I go again. Why is everybody always telling me to hold on? Hold on from what? It's not that I'll die soon, anyway. I'm still breathing…well, at least I thought I could still breathe. But I still can't find Shuichi._

_Where the hell is the brat?_

_Oh yeah, the concert. He must be there… and I have to go there too._

_Damn my weak body and stupid legs. They still don't move._

_I try, Shu… I try to move them and walk away from here. I can hear your voice, yet you feel so far away._

_Should I give up?_

--

"Shu!"

Hiro stared oddly when his raven-haired friend gave him a startled look, and raised one delicate eyebrow when the brat blinked several times like an idiot.

"What're you thinking about, Shu? There's a crowd waiting for us and you're spacing out here, right on the stage?" Hiro said again, emphasizing the word 'crowd' by pointing at them. Shuichi seems startled again, but fortunately before Hiro had a chance to yell he quickly reigned himself.

"Oh, I'm sorry! It's just that I thought someone was calling me…" Shuichi said apolitically. Hiro give him a rather annoyed huff before patting his back in reassurance, "Yeah, sure. There are people screaming your name, Shuichi. What's with you? It's not that you haven't sung in front of

lots of people before."

"But, it felt different, Hiro… I can hear it in my mind but I can't hear it here. You see? It's like telepathy—like someone was calling me in a

different place as I am now… Like… it's so far away, yet so close," the singer explained, more to himself than Hiro. "Uh, well…" the guitarist began, finding the right words to say. Never in his whole life had he found it so hard to talk with a big messed-up brat like Shuichi. And judging by the serious look Shuichi gave him, he was sure that his best friend wasn't joking. "Um, let's talk about it later, okay? We must show our professionalism, Shu. Don't let your feelings take over… you understand, right?" the red-haired managed to say.

Shuichi let a small huff escape from his lips; his shoulders slumped down in mild disappointment. But Hiro's right—he couldn't let his fans down now. They'd already waited ages for Bad Luck to hold a concert again. He looks up, fists curled into small balls—the right one was gripping the microphone so tightly it almost cracks. When his sight falls to the yellow, blinding lights on stage all he could think of is Yuki. Blinding and captivating—until he can't avoid it and falls completely on his arms.

And he couldn't help but think how stupid he is.

"Earth to Shu… spacing out again, no?" Hiro said in annoyance while crossing his arms over his well-defined chest. Shuichi smiled his goofiest

smile ever, before bouncing and shaking his head frantically. "I'm okay! Let's rock!" the singer yelled, and as soon as the words

slip from his mouth the crowd starts screaming again.

He waves his hand to the crowd, throwing a sweet smile though he felt a strange jolt begin to form in his stomach. He just hopes the concert will be okay and it's not Yuki who's calling his name.

And he hopes the man he saw backstage is just an illusion.

--

A sudden sharp intake of breath caught the paramedics off guard and they immediately rush to his side, checking his pulse and oxygen supply. Tohma watched from a distance when the doctor quietly let out a small smile—hoping that it's a good sign.

"Well, Mr. Seguchi. It looks like your brother-in-law is already conscious again," the man said, walking towards him while smiling a charmed smile. Tohma let out a relieved breath—unaware he'd already held it for so long.

"But however, you can't talk to him now. He needs some time to recover—but you may stay in this room if you want. Just try to make less noise so he won't wake up," the doctor informed him again. He nodded, quickly thanked him and practically praised him before the doctor went to the other room. As soon as the doctor was out of sight he ran towards a small bed where Yuki's body was lying—now hopefully not lifelessly.

Tohma's heart clenched when he grasps the novelist's pale hand in his—all he could feel is the faint sound of his love's heartbeat. Never in his life has he ever thought about how beautiful one simple beat can be. Though it resounded far and faintly—but it's a rhythm of his love's life.

Minutes passed by and the president still doesn't let the ex-novelist hand's go. He just watched in desperation at the taller blonde's face, hoping he could see his yellow eyes soon. Before his wish could come true, however, his cellphone began to vibrate. He unwillingly tears his eyes off of his brother-in-law and quickly picks up the phone.

"What is it?" the blonde asked in annoyance. He heard a raspy, weak voice answering him carefully as if afraid to make him mad.

"I'm sorry Mr. Seguchi, but I can't do this…"

Tohma's eyes immediately narrowed in anger. "I don't give one fucking shit at that, Aizawa. Either you shoot that ugly brat or I'll bring you both to death!"

On the other line, Taki Aizawa winced as he held his cellphone far from his ear. Damn, Tohma Seguchi could be so frightening sometimes. Well, not sometimes. Anytime he'd smile or just even stare, it's enough to scare the hell out of him. And now he began to think the man was going crazy. Maybe his protectiveness against his brother-in-law named Yuki Eiri led into an attraction, and attraction led into an obsession. And obsession led to… Well, he himself can't name it but he's sure Tohma Seguchi wants to control Yuki Eiri completely and make him his, no matter what.

He doesn't really care if it's not him who had to help Tohma doing that..

"Has the concert already started?" Tohma's voice radiated from the cellphone, softer this time. Taki lifted it to his ear so he could hear better

and hopefully the president of NG won't yell at him again this time. "Yeah, it's been about ten minutes since the concert started. Should I

shoot him now?" Taki asked, gripping the gun he held in his hand tightly. He swore, from the day he hired a gang to rape Shuichi, he would never hurt the boy again. Especially when he learned that the brat had already moved to the US, he even felt pity boiling in his heart. But Tohma always forced him to do these sins… and he couldn't do anything but obey him.

"Just wait for a moment, until he sings a slow song. People usually get 'hypnotized' at a time like that and it will be easier for you. But be

careful and I don't give a shit if you're chased by the police—as long as you don't speak a word about me. And I swear, if you tell them who asked you to do this, I'll hunt you down and you will be more than sorry. Is that

understood?" Tohma said nonchalantly in a warning tone. It made shivers run down the younger man's spine, and Taki had to take a deep breath to calm himself down. His suspicions are right—Tohma Seguchi has gone completely crazy.

"Yeah, I understand that, Mr. Seguchi."

And with no words the line went dead and Taki stared at the stage blankly. Why him? Is he cursed or what? Is it because of his sin of hurting Shuichi back then? If it's so, he prays to whatever god to bring mercy on his soul. He won't kill anyone, he doesn't even want to hurt anyone anymore...

And as the song faded into a slow, sweet rhythm, Taki knows it's the music

of the singer's death.

--

_Yeah, you've been alone_

_I've been gone for far too long_

_With all that we've been through_

_After all this time I'm coming home to you_

_Never let it show_

_The pain I've grown to know_

_With all that we've been through_

_After all this time I'm coming home to you…_

The crowd fall into a blessed silence—letting the sweet, tender voice of Bad Luck's singer captivated them. The soft baritone voice melt with the

slow melody of Hiro's acoustic guitar, blended in the most perfect way.

_I reach toward the sky_

_I sent my goodbye_

_My heart's always with you…_

At the corner of the stage, at the place where no one can tell of his appearance, Taki Aizawa stood weakly. The gun in his hand almost fell from his loosened grip as he heard Shuichi's voice—and for once, he had to admit that the brat really does have talent. It felt different when he

sang—Shuichi always pours his emotions and feelings in every word that escapes from his lips. As if it's not just a word, but a symbol of what he felt inside.

_I won't question why_

_So many times my prayer had made it through_

_And with all that we've been through_

_After all this time I'm coming home to you…_

But he had to do this, now, if he wants to stay alive. But will he survive to

live a life full of lies, running away from everything?

But it's still better than death.

And with that thought, he pulls the trigger and pointed it at the singing

creature before him.

--

The once-silent hall filled with screams as the shot echoed through it. People started running, trying to rescue themselves with no care about the body that was lying on the stage. His raven hair become crimson red, caked in his own pool of blood. Two bullets had shot him right in his chest and his hands flew to the broken skin, trying to prevent the blood from falling.

But the pain is too overbearing. With one last breath he looks up to the ceiling, hoping his eyes will stay open so he won't sleep—afraid he may never wake up anymore.

--

(The song is by Avenged Sevenfold)

--

review??? *hugs*


	5. Sacrificial

**Truth behind the lies**

**Chapter 5: Sacrificial**

--

**Thanks to Lanie 12777 and her patience for beta-ing this story! *hehe***

**Disc: me no ownie!**

--

Among the noisy crowd, right on the stage Nakano Hiroshi was screaming frantically his best friend's name after ordering K to rescue Suguru. He ran as fast as his feet could go and let out a relieved sigh when his sight falls to the familiar face of Shuichi.

"Hey, Shu! Let's get the hell out of here! I'm sure the shots are aim…" his words trailed off when he saw a raven-haired man body lying on the stage. Fortunately it's not Shuichi, who was gaping at the body with disbelief. Unfortunately it's none other than Tatsuha Uesugi—who apparently was trying to protect Shuichi from the shot by sacrificing himself.

"Tatsuha?" Hiro said in disbelief, as if he doesn't believe he's seeing it right. The said man, however, doesn't answer and all he could do is stare at the ceiling—dark eyes held no emotion at all. Hiro quickly pulls the cell phone from his pants pocket and after dialing for an ambulance he rushed over to the monk's side to check his condition.

"Tatsuha!" Hiro yelled, shaking the broken body before him softly as if to wake him up. The monk's eyes turned from the ceiling to his face—and

upon seeing Shuichi's face he let out a strange whimper. "Uh? What is it?" the red-haired man asked in confusion, tilting his head so he could hear the teen's words. Hiro finally nodded when he made it to understand what Tatsuha means.

"Shuichi, he wants to talk to you," the guitarist said, tugging on his best friend's stage costume to catch his attention since all he could do is gape like an idiot. When Shuichi showed no intention to move Hiro began tugging at him harder, causing him to stumble forward. "Hurry up! We have to hear what he wants to say before the ambulance arrives!"

Shuichi quickly kneeled beside him, nearing his ear to the monk's lips so he could get a better access to hearing his words.

"Shu…" Tatsuha started, trailing off to take a shallow, panty breath. Shuichi nodded in reflex but remained silent; instead he stroked the blood-caked raven hair soothingly. "The o… The one you saw… that night…" the monk managed to say through his sharp intake of breath while his eyes struggled to stay open. Shuichi kindly continued to stroke the boy's dark locks while Hiro stares at them through pitiful eyes. "Was me."

As soon as the words slipped from his lips Shuichi's little hands immediately stop their ministrations, leaving the owner once again agape. But before he can ask the monk what he meant by that, Tatsuha's eyes fell closed as he falls into a deep slumber.

"Tatsuha! fuck!" Hiro cursed before dialing K's number in urgency. He spoke in a hushed tone so the shocked singer won't be too affected by the situation and doesn't get too emotional. After ordering K to come there as fast as he could he snuck an arm around Tatsuha's waist, his other hand holding on to the wall—using it as a leverage so they can both stand up.

Shuichi, still shocked and appalled, can do nothing but stare at the floor.

"There's no point of waiting for the ambulance here... Shit. Listen, Shuichi, I'll get Tatsuha out of here. Ryuichi and K will get you in a moment, so… Wait for them, okay?" Hiro said with a panted breath, cursing himself for being smaller than Tatsuha. Fortunately before he leaves the place Ryuichi and K are already running there so he won't need anything as reassurance. Not wanting to waste any moments, he dragged the unconscious monk from the stage with much difficulty.

"Shuichi? Are you okay?" Ryuichi asked in a concerned tone, just like his face now. He'd been more than afraid when K called him and informed there's someone shooting at the hall. He's not with Shuichi at that moment because he felt a little bit dizzy and wanted to take a rest. And now if Shuichi gets hurt, he's sure he will never forgive himself. Which the singer isn't, but it doesn't mean he's grateful for that. When he saw Tatsuha's limp body on Hiro's arm, he felt a strange feeling of something he can't name. It's stronger than the feeling he has towards Shuichi… More than concern or anything. But it doesn't really matter anymore now, as long as Shuichi's safe.

"Shuichi? Are you okay?" the older man asked again, louder this time, but still the younger one had no intention to answer. He was just about to ask again when suddenly K's large hand covered his mouth.

"He needs some time alone, Ryu. Probably it's too much for him to handle, what's important now is we have to get him out of here," K said..

Ryu thought about it for a moment, his heart full of questions. Realizing it's not the best time to speak them out, he just nodded and grasped Shuichi's pale hands, helping K to stand the singer up.

"You get him out of here while I search for that ungrateful little puke who already messed up this concert, okay? I'm sure he/she is still here since the only entrance to get out is from the backstage—and the police have already gathered there," K said again while starting to look around. Ryuichi only nodded again, silently dragging Shuichi from the stage. But before they made it to the backstage a shot exploded throughout the once-silent hall, filling it up with more screams of fright. The sound is too sudden; it makes Ryuichi fall with a startled yelp, along with Shuichi who stumbled onto the floor first.

"Hurry up!" K yelled while running towards the sound of explosion, holding guns in his two hands. Ryuichi gathered all the strength he had and thinking about the boy's safety makes him run with no care about his swollen knees.

And a few seconds later they arrive to the backstage.

--

_"The one you saw that night was me."_

--

"Shuichi?" He gave a startled gasp when he heard his name being called before lifting his head to see Ryuichi look at him in concern. And he hates that look, as much as he loves it. He hates to know that he's the one who causing it—the one that makes his idol's eyes cloud with unshed tears. But at the same time he loves to know that there's someone else who still cares about him. However, he can't stare at those eyes anymore and just turns his head to the marble floor instead.

And in an instant, the whole room falls into silence. Only the soft sounds of their breaths could be heard around the empty room where they hid now. Since K ordered him to not leave the building before he found the shooter they hid in the make-up room, with a few police guarding them from outside the door.

Ryuichi sighed, sitting down beside Shuichi before running a hand over the boy's raven locks to calm him down since he always does that whenever Shuichi's sad. And it successfully works—he felt the boy relax a little under his magic touch. He shifted a little to give Shuichi more space so he could be more comfortable.

"I miss your pink hair," Ryuichi softly said, avoiding the incident topic in purpose. Shuichi let out a small smile and leaned into the touch, tilting his head to the side to give the older man better access to stroke his hair. Ryuichi also let out a smile, but his is way larger than Shuichi's.

"It reminds me of Kuma-chan," Ryuichi said again, earning a little chuckle in response. He then uses his other hand to reach under his jacket, producing a soft, fluffy pink bunny plushy from it. "Kuma miss you!" the older man said in a doll voice, making the younger one's smile grow wider though it still looked sad.

"I miss Kuma too…" Shuichi said in a small voice, but loud enough for Ryuichi to hear.

"Is Shu-chan okay?" Ryuichi asked again with the same doll voice.

Hopefully he can make Shuichi tell him what's wrong this way. Shuichi's smile faded, and all he gets is the same sad, uncomfortable silence. Ryuichi had to curse himself for being such a fool—maybe K is right, it's just too much for him to handle now. But he can't help it, he had to know what happened with the boy—he's sure it's just not about the incident. Otherwise he can't help him if he doesn't know what it is.

When his mind comes to a conclusion to not speak about it anymore, Shuichi's voice interrupted him.

"Tatsuha said," the young singer said, voice barely above a whisper, "that the one I saw that night is him."

Blue eyes widened in shock and anger. That night… did he mean that night when he witnessed Yuki's betrayal of him? He's sure it is. Well… he will kill Tatsuha right here and then. How in the hell could the monk have done that to Shuichi? He thought he liked him! He thought he loved Shuichi like his own brother, he thought he supported his brother's relationship. It's just too cruel. Shuichi was already distressed about two years after their break-up—and now that boy tells him the truth? Why now? Why not two years ago, before Shuichi fell and crashed?

Just thinking about it is enough to make the blood boil in the older singer's head. He stood up, fists clenched into small balls before walking toward the door angrily.

"Where will you go?" Shuichi asked, afraid. He was more than aware of the flaming anger that burned in Ryuichi's blue eyes when he told him the truth. Ryuichi doesn't answer his question, instead he just walked faster to the door, patience wearing thin from second to second. Shuichi immediately stood up from his seat before practically running to Ryuichi.

"Stop it, Ryu-chan!" the younger singer said, tugging on Ryuichi's sleeves to prevent him from leaving. "It will only make this worse. I mean, we don't know what Tatsuha said is true or not. Maybe he was just trying to make Yuki seem innocent?"

"By sacrificing himself to death? No way," Ryuichi responded coldly.

"What he said is true, and now I'll kill him for making you cry for the past two years."

And with that said Ryuichi closed the door behind him harshly, ignoring Shuichi's plea and the police' protests.

--

Hiro's ears perked up at the dinged sound from the operation room, signaling the process is already over. He stood up from his seat along with Suguru, just in time to see a young doctor approach them.

"Good evening sir. Are you… one of his family members?" the doctor asked. Hiro was just about to answer when Suguru's voice interrupted him.

"I'm his brother-in-law," the young keyboardist said. Hiro had to raise an eyebrow at that—well, technically Suguru is Tohma's cousin and Tohma is Yuki's brother-in-law. And Tatsuha is Yuki's younger brother. Yeah. It's not all a lie.

"I'm sorry to inform you but…" the doctor takes a dramatic pause to give them a more saddened effect. Suguru looked at him urgently, along with Hiro's demanding stare. "But he may not survive this," the young professional said, "he's been shot two times—fortunately it's right above his heart. Which means, he may survive this but we're not very sure.. He's in a coma now, but we will do our best. Once again, I'd like to say sorry, sir."

The two members of Bad Luck just nodded at him meekly, still keeping their jaws together even when the doctor was already out of sight. Though they don't know Tatsuha that well, but Shuichi's friends are their friends and Tatsuha is one of them. Just when Mika enters the waiting room do they begin to lighten up a little.

"Mika! Thank god… I don't think I can stand this silence any longer!" Hiro said, offering a smile in Mika's direction. The beautiful woman, however, doesn't respond to the smile and just asks in a short breath,

"How's my brother?"

Suguru looks at him apologetically when Hiro begins explaining Tatsuha's condition. Mika's face grew sadder and sadder as each word escapes from Hiro's lips, until her knees became weak and she bumped into the waiting chair. She hides her face in her hands, all the while sobbing very quietly.

"Why? Like Eiri wasn't enough… why my little brother too?" she

whispered with so much pain in her soft voice. Hearing this, the two males' ears perked up and they immediately rushed to her side.

"What did you mean by that, Mika-san?" Hiro asked in curiosity. Mika looks up, startled, throwing them a look that says, 'there's a thing called a television and you didn't ever hear about it?'

Hiro rose a delicate eyebrow but didn't get the hint Mika gave him—nor does Suguru. Mika sighed, though her face shows a little hint of annoyance she answers in a soft tone nonetheless, "Yuki fell into a coma too. A car accident—he was hit by a truck on the way to Bad Luck's concert. It's all over the media now, don't you know?"

Suguru shook his head no before saying, "Why was he coming to the concert anyway? I though he and Shindou-san were already broken up?"

Mika shrugged while wiping the stubborn tears that keep pouring from the edges of her eyes, "I don't know. I heard it from Tatsuha, and he asked me to not tell anyone about it."

Suguru decides it's not the right time to ask the poor girl anything further and just looks at Hiro questioningly. The red-haired guitarist just shrugged, raising his shoulder easily to emphasize his confusion.

Uncomfortable silence falls in the waiting room—the only sound that could be heard was the sound of Mika sobbing quietly and their ragged breathing. It broke when Ryuichi entered the scene, dragging a very confused Shuichi by his arms.

"Where's the little fuck?" Ryuichi asked directly without hesitation.

Hearing this both Suguru and Hiro were startled, and Mika gave a surprised gasp upon hearing the singer's harsh words. But Ryuichi just continued to glare in their direction, ignoring Shuichi who was trying to calm him down.

"I'll ask you again. Where's the little fuck?" the green-haired male said again, harsher this time. Hiro, being the fastest one to recover from the shock, encouraged himself to answer despite the fright he felt inside.

"Uh… what do you mean?"

"That little fuck. Tatsuha Uesugi. Where is he?" the green-haired said,

face unnaturally calm. It makes Suguru and Mika, who'd already begun to recover from the shock, start to shake more than before. And Hiro—well, he just couldn't help but wonder why Ryuichi had said that. The last thing he knew is Tatsuha tried to protect Shuichi from the shot and it worked—so why in the hell is he mad at the monk now? He should be grateful it's not Shuichi who's in a coma now.

"Ryuichi, first of all—you have to calm down," Hiro started, bravely

enough he had the guts to pet the mad singer on the back. Ryuichi doesn't respond to this, but judging by the look he throws him, Hiro knows Ryuichi wasn't happy with his act. "Uh, well… Why'd you say that? I mean, isn't Tatsuha the one who saved Shuichi?"

Ryuichi was just about to answer when he felt a sharp tug on his sleeve. He looks down and is not entirely surprised to see wide, glistening lavender eyes look at him pleadingly, begging for him to not tell them the truth. In a normal state Ryuichi might obey those marvelous eyes but now it's not 'normal'. So he turns around, staring piercingly in the trio's direction.

"I know it, Nakano-san. But what you don't know is," Ryuichi gives a brief pause to encourage himself—honestly he also can't bring himself to tell them this. But they deserve the truth, whether it hurts or not. "Tatsuha is the cause behind Yuki-san and Shuichi's break-up."

Suguru and Hiro's eyes practically bulged and widened as big as plates upon hearing the green-haired male's words. Mika, who doesn't have a clue about what they're talking about, just stared questioningly—demanding an answer…

Fortunately Ryuichi caught his stare and nodded in understanding before starting to explain the condition.

"Well, Mika-san, I'd like to say sorry first. It's not that I'm entirely happy to inform you of this," Ryuichi said, ignoring the sharp tug Shuichi gave him again. He ignores it because he knows Shuichi wants them to know this too, though the young singer may never tell anyone that. "But the eason why Yuki-san and Shuichi broken up two years ago is because he cheated with Tohma."

The woman let out a startled squeak, eyes widened in disbelief. Hiro and Sguru just stare at her blankly—they know it hurts so bad to hear it. Moreover, Tohma is her husband… was her husband. And Shuichi, the poor little guy can do nothing but stare as well, hoping it will end soon. He has a strange feeling that something worse will happen, though he doesn't know what.

"I'm sorry, Mika-san," Ryuichi said again, softer this time. He notices the way Mika tried to calm herself down by taking a shallow, calming breath and had to praise her for that. He'd predicted Mika will be freaked out upon hearing his words but she's not—he praises her for being such a strong girl. But he knows she was more than hurt after hearing his words, and the hurt in her grew stronger as she managed to speak up. "Then... how'sTatsuha involved?"

"Uh… after your brother got shot, he told Shuichi the truth," Ryuichi said, "or at least I hope it's the truth. He said the one Shuichi saw that night was not Yuki, but him. That means… their break-up is because of him and Tohma."  
Now it's Hiro and Suguru's turn to be surprised. Not to mention Mika is more than surprised too—she even had her eyes closed to prevent the tears from falling. Just like Shuichi did now, but no matter how hard he tried to hold them back, the stubborn tears still make their way, tracing over his cheeks. Hiro looks at his best friend in understanding, apologetically eyes sad before walking toward him. He offers his shoulder and Shuichi is more than happy to oblige—he quickly buries his head on the redhead's chest, choking back a sob while crying almost hysterically.

"I'm sorry, Shuichi," Hiro said, guilt hanging noticeably in his voice. "If I hadn't insisted on you to make this concert… it wouldn't have happened."

Shuichi reminded silent, instead he just buries himself further, wrapping his arms around his best friend's tall form. Meanwhile Suguru and Mika still don't move a mere inch—they just stare blankly at the crying singer, lost in each other's thoughts.

"It's not your fault, Nakano-san. I could even say thank you—it's easier to know the truth sooner than later," Ryuichi said. Hiro nodded,  
though he still felt guilt boiling in his heart before burying his face in Shuichi's hair, inhaling his best friend's unique scent.

"If it's not Yuki's fault, Shuichi…" Mika, who seems already to have begun to accept the truth, started softly. "Then you should go and see him. I mean… before it's too late."  
Shuichi turned his head around in an instant, throwing the oldest Uesugi a questioning look. "What'd you mean by that, Mika-san?"

Mika stares at him with so much tenderness in her glimmering eyes, yet she can't tell the boy what's wrong with Yuki. So she looks in Hiro's  
direction—pleading for help—and fortunately the redhead gets the hint. He loosened his grip from Shuichi a little bit before saying in a low voice,"Yuki is in coma now, Shu-chan. He… he had a car accident on the way to your concert."

Those simple statements make Shuichi stop dead in his tracks, once again gaping like an idiot. His wide lavender eyes widened even further if possible and he stood frozen, gripping Hiro's arm as a leverage to hold on. Meanwhile Ryuichi just stares at the scene in front of him, wondering why the boy's life could be so complicated. He's a good boy, really—a nice, tender and sweet boy. Why there are so many people bugging his life, he doesn't know either. What he knows is he deserves to be happy.

With that thought he walked towards Mika, slowly but in a steady pace, wearing a softened expression on his face so she won't freak out. When he made it to Mika's direction he took a seat beside her, letting silence fall before saying, "Where's Yuki?"  
Mika looks up at him, pretty startled by the sudden change of expression. But she understands what Ryuichi meant by that… the older singer only wants huichi to be happy. So she told him the hospital's location, and after saying thank you, Ryuichi stood up to walk towards the still-crying Shuichi..

"Okay, Shuichi. Let's go," Ryuichi said softly, offering a hand to the young singer. Shuichi unwillingly let his grip loosen from Hiro and took his idol's offer, walking weakly—well, practically being dragged outside by Ryuichi.

As soon as the two were out of sight Mika stood up, wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands, ignoring the worn off mascara that pretty much messed up her beautiful features. Suguru and Hiro just look at her, curious about what the oldest Uesugi will do next. And whatever it is, they just hope she will do the right thing.

"Okay, then, kiddos," the girl said, covering her puffy, red eyes with stylish black glasses. "It looks like we have to teach Tohma a lesson."

--

Review please??? :3


	6. A little too not over you

**Truth behind the lies**

**Chapter 6: A Little Too Not Over You**

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**Dozen of thanks and huggies for Lanie12777 and her amazing patience for beta-ing this story! So sorry for causing you sooo much troubles. Teehe...You're the kindest girl alive!**

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Disclaimer: Gravitation doesn't belong to me.

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Shuichi sighed when they finally entered the hospital's entrance. Now he will see Yuki again… and he really had no idea about what will happen later. He doesn't know whether he will break down or be numb, whether he will cry or just stare at his love blankly, whether he'll declare his love or won't speak at all. Hell, he doesn't even know what the truth is now. The one that Tatsuha said or the one he saw that night. Part of him wants to believe what Tatsuha said is right so he will be together with Yuki again. Yet part of him doubts it—saying he's just in denial and Tatsuha was lying to protect his brother…

His train of thought was suddenly interrupted when he felt Ryuichi tugging at his waist. He looks up to find a pair of blue eyes staring at him in concern—and quickly turned around to face the floor instead. He heard his idol sigh before he felt Ryuichi give him a soft pat on the back.

"It's okay, Shuichi. Yuki-san is not the baddie here," Ryuichi said softly. Shuichi just kept his jaw together; though he really hoped what he said is true. Before he knows it they'd already arrived at the hospital's receptionist desk and the young girl behind the desk immediately asked them politely, "Good evening, sir. Can I help you with something?" she said, offering a charming smile in their direction. Shuichi responded to it by giving her a slight smile, but Ryuichi merely nodded at her.

"We're looking for a patient named Yuki Eiri. Can you tell us which room he is in?" the green-haired male said.

The young receptionist looked at the watch on her wrist for a brief moment before retorting apologetically, "I'm sorry, sir. But it's already 10 p.m.… you're not allowed to see the patient now. If you'd like, though, you may come later tomorrow and see him between 8 in the morning until 2 p.m., or between 5 p.m. until 8 p.m... Moreover he already had so many people see him today, each one saying they're one of his relatives. So we can't allow someone to see him—once again, we're sorry, sir."

Ryuichi grunted, feeling a little disappointed with the girl's answer. Probably she doesn't know who they are since they'd covered their appearances by wearing a cap and black glasses. But at this state they can't do anything but tell her the truth, and he took off his cap and glasses to reveal green hair and blue eyes underneath.

The young girl let out a surprised gasp when she saw their familiar faces. She pointed at them, finger slightly trembling, before rasping out, "Oh my god! Y… you're Sakuma Ryuichi and Shuichi Shindou…?"

The older singer let a smile of triumph spread on his face, glad she recognizes them. That means it could be easier for them to get access to see Yuki—probably by just giving her an excuse since she looks like their fans. He nodded a little while Shuichi just stared blankly—once again lost in his own thoughts.

"Yeah, and that's right—he's Shuichi Shindou," Ryuichi said, tilting his head to the side where Shuichi stands to emphasize his means. "We really hope you could help us with this, Miss…" the green-haired trailed off, just realizing he doesn't know her name yet.

The girl kindly offered, "Takada."

"Right, Miss Takada. Well, probably you know that Yuki Eiri and Shuichi broke up two years ago? There's something important that we have to solve—so, can you please let us see him?"

Nobody could deny Ryuichi's legendary 'chibi-look-of-doom™'—including the receptionist Takada. And she, being the fangirl that she is, let out a happy squeal before saying, "Sure! Um, he's in room 32. It's right after the ladder, sir. Um—if the problem is already solved, let me be the one who knows what is it, alright?"

Ryuichi just let out a slight smile. Frankly he doesn't know if he will bring this problem to the press or not—he's sure Tohma's career will be over if the media finds out. But then again, the blonde deserves that for all the bad things he'd done and he's sure it won't hurt to tell someone about it.

"Yeah, sure," Ryuichi said eventually, gaining a blush and squeak from Takada.. Then after saying his thanks he walks off, quickly putting their caps and glasses on—it's just too risky to walk off without them on.. Call them vain but they're super famous rock stars now.

The simple journey to Yuki's room felt to take longer time than usual as the singers were lost in each other's thoughts. Shuichi kept thinking about Yuki, and Ryuichi… well, he couldn't help but keep thinking about Tatsuha. He still couldn't believe the fact that Tatsuha is the one who caused his best friend's break-up. The first time Shuichi told him that, he didn't know what to feel. He felt a strange compilation of anger, betrayal, and pain—but at the same time he takes pity on him. Like he wants to punish him for what he'd done, yet he wants to forgive him. What makes him feel more confused is the fact that the feelings he had towards Tatsuha is stronger than he had towards Shuichi. He doesn't know that it is, but he's sure it's not just a friendly or brotherly love—the kind of love he had towards Shuichi.

Before his mind had a chance to reach a conclusion, though, they'd already arrived at the front of Yuki's room. He turns around to find Shuichi staring at the hard wooden door and let out a long sigh again. Probably it's just too much for him to handle. A big messed-up reunion concert, the shots, Tatsuha's sacrifice, the truth, and a car accident—everything's happened in one strange night. But Shuichi had to face this, whether he was ready or not. And with that thought, he pushed the door knob open—letting the creak sounds when the door swings open slowly fill the uncomfortable silence that falls around them.

The first thing that they saw is a pale, slim figure that is lying on the hospital's bed—covered in a mountain of blankets. His usually bright blonde hair was darker, a contrast with his skin that looks paler. An oxygen mask was wrapped around his nose and the IV stuck on his left wrist..

Ryuichi couldn't help but grimace at the view. This is not Yuki Eiri anymore. This is not the same strong, arrogant Yuki Eiri like what he saw two years ago—this is just a broken Eiri Uesugi. And it gives him a hint of relief—Shuichi's not the only one who suffered through their break up.

Speaking of Shuichi, the raven-haired boy is doing the same exact thing as he is now—staring blankly at Yuki's body. But the difference is he had his eyes glimmering with tears, and they make their way down to his cheeks and jaw before falling to the floor.

"Come on Shuichi," Ryuichi said, once again having to tug his waist to catch the younger man's attention. "Let's take a look at him."

Shuichi just nodded, letting his body being dragged once again. The nearer they got to the ex-novelist the worse view they got. Now they can easily notice the black shade around Yuki's eyes, the way his lips had turned to blue, and the harsh sound of his breathing—as if he had to force himself to take one simple breath. And they can't help but think how thin he was now.

Minutes passed by and the two singers keep the silence hanging around them—before Ryuichi's cell phone began to ring. He quickly excused himself before going out the door so he won't disturb the two lovers. And as soon as the green-haired male disappeared from his sight, Shuichi immediately broke down crying—throwing himself on Yuki's body as softly as possible because he's afraid he will break him anytime.

"Why, Yuki?" Shuichi said, more to himself than Yuki. "You can just tell me what exactly happened… that it's not you who'd cheated behind my back, but why?" The younger male had to pause to take a long, calming breath. But he can't do anything to calm himself down right now—the tension, the pressure… it's just too much. So the only thing that he can manage to let out is a shaky, choked sob as he cried hysterically. But thinking about it again, it's not Yuki's fault. It never was. If there's someone to blame between him and Yuki, it's him. He's the one who left Yuki without listening to him at all. Hell, he's the one who was stupid enough to believe Tatsuha and Tohma—how can he not recognize his own lover?

He hates to feel the guilt, he hates being guilty, but how can he blame someone else when it's himself whom he can't forgive?

Before his mind could think even further, he heard the door creak open—interrupting his train of thought. He turns around to find Ryuichi staring at him.

"Shuichi, I guess you need to take a rest," the green-haired male said with so much concern in his tender voice. Shuichi shook his head no before saying, "I'm not gonna close my eyes before I see Yuki conscious!"

Ryuichi let out a slight smile at this—two years of separation hasn't changed anything between them. Shuichi is still the same lovingly bubbly brat and Yuki… well, he doesn't know how the blonde's attitude is now but he hopes—and he's sure—he's gotten better. But Shuichi was just too tired right now; he needs some rest to refresh his mind and body or else he'll get sick too. Things had already gotten too complicated and he won't let anything worse happen.

"Please, Shu-chan? You may pass out if you stay this way. Take a rest for a while, and tomorrow you can see Eiri-san again… I'm sure the one he wants to see when he wakes up is you, you understand that, right?"

And it successfully shut the brat up. Probably it's the best thing to say—knowing that Yuki still needs him somehow makes Shuichi feel better. And he's sure it's what Yuki exactly feels right now.

It didn't take too long before Shuichi falls into a deep slumber, grasping Yuki's pale hand in his in his sleep. Ryuichi quietly leaves the room as silently as possible before closing the door slowly—and within a minute, he's already out of sight.

--

"_**Why, Yuki?"**_

_God…__I could hear you asking me that but I don't know why either, Shu-chan. Damn, I just wish I knew. But I swear I've never, ever cheated on you… well, I did it sometimes but it's before I realized the feeling between us._

_The feeling that I can name 'love'._

_I just hope it's not too late to tell you that… I'm sorry I haven't told you about it before. It's just that I don't believe in all crappy meaningless things like that… but it's before you showed them to me._

_Give me strength, Shu-chan. I want to see you…_

--

(09.00 a.m.)

--

One certain Sakuma Ryuichi tapped his fingers impatiently on the hard surface of a hard-wooden table. His feet take the rhythm too, as they make similar noises with the marble floor's surface. He doesn't know why he does that—not that he cares to find out, because his mind is now too preoccupied by the thought that they will bring Tohma down. What he means by 'they' is himself and Mika. The younger woman already called him last night to arrange a meeting for both of them at Cyber Café to talk about her plan, and after thirteen minutes of waiting, she still hasn't shown up.

And speaking about last night, instead of accompanying Shuichi to Yuki's room, Ryuichi found himself at the front door of the ICU room. The room where Tatsuha lay. He noticed, from the small window at the door, the younger boy wasn't doing any better. Instead his condition is just getting worse and the older man couldn't help but felt pity toward him. He's sure Tatsuha is another victim of Tohma's sick obsession—and with the bleach blonde-haired male being manipulative as ever, it's not a hard thing to make Tatsuha fall into his trap.

God, he feels so undependable now. He doesn't know what to do—just yesterday he felt mad at Tatsuha but now he felt pity… Just… where is the truth now?

His train of thought trailed off suddenly when he spotted Mika walk in the entrance, giving a slight nod when the woman smiles sheepishly. She wears an expensive-looking pale purple dress, matching with her short white skirt. She looks awesome as ever on the outside despite the shade of black under her eyes because of lack of sleep, and there's no other reason except her brother who's causing it.

"Sorry," Mika muttered while sitting gracefully on the chair. "We got a little problem to ask him but it's okay now."

Ryuichi raised one delicate eyebrow. We? Him? Just what the hell is Mika planning to do now?

Before he had a chance to ask the lady, though, the waitress chooses the bright moment to ask them for a menu. Mika had asked her rather happily for a pancake, along with caramel syrup and extra strawberry topping. Ryuichi on the other hand, being the childish kind that he is, slightly sulked while ordering his strawberry cheesecake and pocky. Then after the waitress wrote down their order she hurried back to her place, mostly because of Ryuichi's demanding glare.

"Well," the green-haired male said eventually, gaining Mika's attention, who was currently staring at some spot on the wall back. "What is this plan that you're talking about?"

Mika grinned, "Guess what? We've just revealed a shocking discovery!"

Ryuichi clenched his teeth impatiently. "And that is?"

"Taki tried to shoot Shuichi at the concert."

Hearing this, Ryuichi instantly straightened back in his seat. Still half-frozen, he gestured for the woman to continue because of his lack of abilities to speak, and fortunately Mika gets the idea.

"Well, I'll tell you from the very start. You remember the shots back there at the concert, right?" A nod. "It's Taki Aizawa. He tried to shoot himself then, but fortunately K caught him. But instead of bringing him straight to the police, K decided to ask him a little question. At first he refused to answer but then K threatened to throw him in jail," the lady explained with slight pride in her voice. "Then we asked Taki who ordered him to do that and why he did that—and the answer is quite shocking too."

Again, Mika chose to tease Ryuichi by giving another pause. The said man only growled in annoyance and without covering his frustration glared at Mika for further information. Seeing his stare, the brown-haired woman couldn't help but let out a little chuckle in amusement.

"Well," Mika started. "The one who ordered him is none other than Seguchi Tohma. And why he did that—because Tohma also ordered him to 'hurt' Yuki a little to prevent him from attending the concert…" at this, Mika giving another pause, but it doesn't make Ryuichi mad anymore. Instead he just nodded in acknowledgement, knowing that it is also hard for Mika to be saying this. To know that it's your ex-husband who played dirty tricks toward your own siblings behind your back… Ryuichi's sure it's not a pleasant discovery.

After taking several calming breaths finally Mika spoke up again.

"Because Taki led Eiri to a fatal accident… Tohma said that it's Shuichi's fault. So he ordered Taki to kill Shuichi, or else Tohma will kill them both."

Ryuichi's wide eyes immediately widened even further if possible upon hearing the lady's words. Sure, he knows that Tohma is always capable of doing anything to get whatever he wants—but it's already crossed the line, right? The two lovers, especially Shuichi, deserve to be happy and being with the one he loves. The brat already sacrificed too much of his happiness, bearing the pains and regrets that he got from the ex-novelist's dull attitude for so long. And now… why can't Tohma just give up?

He clenched his teeth in anger. He thought that Tohma wass the one who he could rely on for so long… But now he just couldn't stand hearing his name. It gives him a sudden urge to throw up just to hear what he'd done to his fragile best friend. And when the waitress announced their order is already served, Ryuichi was still boring a hole right through the poor wooden table. The young girl quickly excused herself and rather unwillingly gave up the idea to ask for Ryuichi's signature because the said man positively looks ready to eat someone alive.

Mika on the other hand feels rather relieved about their new discovery. She already had a plan in her mind, and it's just a matter of time to play his role on the game. Knowing that Ryuichi won't talk to her for a while, she picks up her fork to dig at the willing warm pancakes. The idea of ravishing her delayed breakfast sounds more appealing than witnessing a mad singer practically burning the table with his flaming blue eyes.

After a long time of silence, save for the sounds of Mika munching her pancakes and the sound of jazz music that's echoing through the small café, Ryuichi decides to speak.

"So… what's exactly your plan?"

Mika gestures him to wait for a while because it's not a polite thing to do to talk with your mouth full of half-eaten cake. After swallowing the sweets along with tamarind juice, she lays back more comfortably in her seat.

"Well, the first thing we need to know is why Tatsuha did that. I mean, he couldn't willingly help Tohma to play that dirty trick toward his own brother and Shuichi—and I emphasize this, Shuichi—since he loves them too much to hurt them even a little," the younger woman said. "There must be a reason behind this. And to find that out, we must ask Tatsuha himself. That means we have to wait for Tatsuha… to wake." Mika shrugged at the end of her speech to tell the man that she wasn't done yet, but needed a time to breathe and think. And luckily Ryuichi got the idea and let her take another swallow from the sweet-sour juice while serving himself a box of pocky. They always help him to think straight, and think straight— it's what he needed to do.

After several gulps and the pale chocolate liquid is gone, Mika started again. "The plan is, after we know the reason from Tatsuha, we use that as a weapon to fight Tohma.. It'll be better if we know this soon because Tohma already knows that Shuichi isn't dead—and there's a possibility for him to try to kill the boy again."

The green-haired male shuddered at the thought. Hearing Shuichi and dead in one sentence gave him a strange feeling of something he can't name of… but he's sure he doesn't like it a bit. And even though he doesn't understand yet what Mika is planning to do—he just hopes she does the right thing and Tohma won't try to touch Shuichi again. If he does, the older singer swore, he'll bring Tohma's neck to press and hang his limp body to face the karma of his own sins..

"I think I'd better be going," Mika said as she finished her breakfast. "I have to meet K to talk about this plan. In the meantime, I hope you can keep an eye out for both Tatsuha and Shuichi…"

Ryuichi didn't need to tell her twice before nodding. He's already promised that to himself, otherwise.

-

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Somewhere on the other side of the city, right in a rather big hospital room, someone was peeling an apple to his occupant. The someone is none other than Shuichi Shindou, who'd already tried to talk to Yuki for the past one hour. The first thing he noticed when he woke up is Ryuichi is not to be found and the digital clock on the nightstand is showing him that it's already 7:55 in the morning… That means Ryuichi must have gone somewhere to find breakfast. Still, the idea of being alone with his ex-lover both excited and terrified him. Moreover, he's in an obvious state of confusion, which leads to a need of moral support. And with no Ryuichi at his side Shuichi wasn't sure whether he could face his lover again or not.

But it doesn't really matter anymore. What matters is he had to make Yuki see him—or rather; he wanted to have Yuki see him. And from the romantic film he watched back then, along with reading several of Yuki's romance novels—he found out that talking to a coma lover usually could make them wake. And even though he doubts that, he found himself asking the immobilized figure that's lying beside him again and again, while busying himself with something rather pointless to do.

And now he's already peeled the red fruit fully. He doesn't know why he did that—he doesn't like apples a bit and neither does Yuki—but maybe he just needs to make his hands useful or else they'll end up burying themselves on his head while he cries. No… he just refused to cry.

"Look, Yuki," Shuichi said, his voice sounding stronger than usual though it still held the same pains. "I've peeled the apple for you. And I did it without cutting myself… I'm cool, ne?"

A shaky, brief smile forced itself to spread on his dry lips upon hearing his own tasteless joke. God—is he really that desperate to laugh? Is the pain that's boiling in his heart driving him slowly crazy?

He found his lips parted to a yet silent question and no one can find the answer. No one, no one at all—including him.

"Yuki," he started desperately, while brushing the ex-novelist's damp bangs that covered half of his face. "You still remember it, right? Back then when we were still together—I used to cut myself while trying to help you cook. Then you'll call me a damn brat and I just whine, I call you a bastard and we end up throwing insults at each other… but it's okay, isn't it? Because in the end we'll just kiss each other and I know at that moment… that you just call me names to tease me…" Shuichi took a shaky breath to regain himself back. Who knew talking to yourself could hurt—especially for your own feeling?

"Yes, you loved to tease me. And maybe I'm just too easy to tease… There was a time when you'd call me brat, idiot, or something along those lines… But I'm not angry. Not even a little… why? Because, when I see how you said them, there's no real poison in your voice. Instead I feel there's something warm there… yes, you never tell me you love me, though I always tell you that… but… I feel it." And now the tears that threatened to fall from the edges of his eyes began to pour down his cheeks.. He realized his knees were too weak to hold himself and bumped into a hard chair, ignoring the pain that was radiating from his rear end when it crashed onto the uncomfortable surface while his mind is too busy recalling the memories they used to have. He had to talk to Yuki… that way maybe there's a thing called a miracle that will come among them.

"But now it's different, isn't it? It's not the same fight we used to have. We weren't throwing insults at each other…" a single tear slipped from his violet orbs yet again—though he tried with all his might to hold them back.. "Only silence. We don't even speak at all… I just saw you… I saw you fuck Tohma and I left you… Two years, Yuki. Can you imagine that? Two years, I suffered, crying myself to sleep after replaying the vague memories about the two of us, hoping that tomorrow I'll wake to find that it's nothing but a nightmare and that it's your arms that I hold, not a pillow instead…

"But it really happened! Then I come back to Japan to find that everything is not your fault! You never cheated behind my back! You never fucked Seguchi! Tatsuha did! And then Tatsuha got shot and I don't know what to do… I don't know what to believe… Yuki…" Shuichi found himself shivering. He felt cold, but it's not only on the outside. The hole in his heart grew larger and he knows it's consuming him, yet he doesn't know how to get rid of it. He's confused. Mad. Angry. Sad. He… doesn't know what to feel. Numb.

"Tell me, Yuki…" the poor boy choked back a sob when he saw his love's face. There's thin, yet noticeable trails of tears that pour from his closed golden orbs. Yuki's crying… just like what he's doing now.

"Tell me, did you ever love me? Did you ever like me? Did you ever like my presence even just for a little? A little bit? Tiny…"

Shuichi forced himself to stand. His knees were quivering, but he doesn't give a damn… the tensions press him just too much and he needs something to refresh his mind.

Before he leaves the room, he whispers softly to the silent wall. Hoping that somehow, by miracle, his love will hear him saying,

"Because I do, Yuki. I love you."

And there he said it—the three words that he used to say a million times, the three words that he always wants to say but found he couldn't.

He gazed back at the silent figure on the bed. Yuki wasn't wake. Not yet.

And he leaves.

Little did he know that his lover, Yuki Eiri, really heard him at that moment. If he'd stayed any longer he'd have seen a pair of golden eyes staring sadly at the closed door, fresh line of tears pouring from them freely like the rain bathing the earth.

-

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-

Shuichi noticed that it's raining. Yet he found himself incapable to stop his feet from running away. He let them—the cold drop of water from the grey clouds mercilessly soaked his shivering body, the mud splashing brutally at his weak form when he takes another impatient, strong step. He's running away. He had to run away. He needs to run away.

He'd thought about it for a while. The whole situation—starting from two years ago, where he found the one he loves with all his might betraying him, until the time where he was now. The reason behind all of this is only one. Tohma. Tatsuha. The latter probably just a doll to play the first's game. Yes. It's only Tohma.

Seguchi Tohma.

He knows long ago that the feeling Tohma had towards his lover (forget the title 'ex', they're still lovers) is not just a usual feeling. Not a brotherly love, not a parental one. It's the one that you had when you love your lover… the kind of love that he had towards Yuki.

But why had Tohma done that? His heart is screaming. Can't he find someone rather than Yuki for himself? Why had he had to bug them again and again?

Before he knows it, his feet slowed their pace. Maybe he's just too tired—both mentally and physically.. He looks up to the sky, where the tiny drops of water hit his lavender orbs, and decides it's better to look down instead.

There he saw the scar on his wrist. The silent proof of his pains. The symbol of his heart. The association of his love.

The place where he carved his love's name.

**Yuki Eiri.**

Yes, he still loves him. He still and always will. And now that Yuki is half-proved innocent, he could love him like he used to.

With that thought he decides to go back to where his lover is. He'll work things out from now own and he'll promise it for both of them…

Unfortunately the one who currently sees his every move doesn't think so. The figure, a bleach-blonde short man with a devilish glint in his eyes, silently creeps to the oblivious boy with a handkerchief in his hand. Silent like a lion sneaking up on its prey, he covered the boy's nose with the poisonous handkerchief—letting its effects make the boy go limp..

And he laughs. The creepy sound that slipped from his lips was muffled by the rain that was still hitting the earth, and no one knew that Shuichi Shindou has been kidnapped that day.

-

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I know this chapter is kinda confusing but puhlease, still leave me some nice reviews. I'll use flames to burn my homework but C/c are welcome...and lastly thanks for reading. Please tell me what you think and whether should I continue this fic or not. Okies? Ja ne!


	7. Welcome to Your Grave

Truth behind the Lies

Chapter 7: Welcome to Your Grave

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Here's chapter 7! Thank you so much for the reviews, alerts and favorites... yay!

Beta'ed by: Lanie 12777

Disc: I don't own gravitation

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Hiro is anxious. After debating with himself whether he had to enter the room or not, because he's afraid he'll disturb the two lovers' time alone, he finally let the affirmative side of his mind win. Otherwise, he frankly doubts that Yuki's condition is getting better, since the doctor said he'd just escaped from a coma. And he's a doctor too, on top of that—so he most likely knows the patient's state.

He slowly pushed the door open. The first thing he realized is Shuichi is nowhere to be found. But since it's already 9:23 in the morning, that means the said boy probably went somewhere to feed himself, so he let the thought go. Moreover, his attention is focused on one figure that currently is lying on the hospital's bed, his golden eyes wide awake and somehow glimmering with what looks like tears.

The red-haired doctor's eyes widened. Is Yuki awake already?

"Yuki-san," the young professional said as he silently approached the man. Yuki turn his golden orbs that were currently staring at the ceiling to him, and they slightly widened before returning to their normal size. "Are you feeling well?"

He knows the first thing to do is call for a nurse or doctor to check him, but since he's also a doctor he doesn't think it's necessary. Besides, he'd already faced this kind of situation many times before. So the first thing to do when he saw Yuki nod was check his pulse and heartbeat. After realizing that it's normal, as was his blood pressure, he let out a sigh of relief.

"It seems that you are. Well, what do you feel now, Yuki-san?" he asked again, and Yuki couldn't help but find it slightly out-of-character for him to become a doctor. He, Hiroshi Nakano—ex-guitarist of J-rock band that most likely also had a rock life—had now become Hiroshi Nakano with the title 'doctor' standing by his name.. That means he had to be patient with other characteristics that a doctor must have, and it doesn't suit him at all. But now that he'd witnessed it himself, how Hiro could be patient if he wanted to, it doesn't seem like such a hard thing to imagine anymore.

Meanwhile Hiro mentally growled when he realized the ex-novelist was staring. What? Is it so unusual for him to ask with a soft tone?

He wanted to ask that out loud but found it useless. The blonde's voice isn't worth it to spend with another useful word because he still couldn't speak that well.

"I'm…" Yuki stated, slightly out of breath, "tired."

Hiro nodded in understanding. Probably the blonde's drained inside and out, both mentally and physically, and there's nothing he can do about it. Well, maybe he could help fix him from the outside, but the only one who had permission to enter his inside is Shuichi. And speaking of the boy, where is he now? He hadn't called him since last night, and it slightly makes him more anxious. Even more now, after Ryuichi told him that Tohma knew Shuichi isn't dead and he probably had another plan to break the poor singer off. But he just hoped he's being paranoid and Shuichi is somewhere safe, ravishing pocky and breakfast.

As if sensing his concern, Yuki asked the similar thing on his mind.

"Where's Shuichi?" Yuki found himself asking. The name sounds alien to his tongue but he likes the feeling of it, and before Hiro had a chance to answer he quickly added, "Yes. I've seen him… about thirteen minutes ago or so… he talks to me all the while, it's just plain stupid to continue to sleep with him chattering about nothing… so I woke."

Hiro smiled when he heard the ex-novelist' words. Even though he said it like he doesn't like it, he knew that deep inside the blonde really was happy to see his lost love back. And the one who made him wake is undoubtedly Shuichi—Yuki admitted it himself.

"Oh, I see… he's probably having some breakfast now," Hiro explained. "It's only 9:27."

Yuki let out a hum in agreement, and Hiro takes the cue to live, but he heard Yuki call his name instead.

"What is it Yuki-san?"

"What's exactly happening now?"

Hiro looks at him through saddened grey orbs. Yuki has the right to know… but he has no right to tell him. Otherwise, judging by the ex-novelist's current state, it's just plain dangerous to tell him what's happening since it would only make his condition worse. So instead of answering him, he just gave a smile in return.

"I don't know anything… it's a real pain in the ass," Yuki complained, looking positively frustrated right now. "I heard Shuichi ask me why I cheated… but I never, Nakano-san… and if I did, why does he blame himself? It's… really confusing now."

The young doctor only nodded in agreement. As much as he'd like to tell Yuki what's happening, he couldn't.. He doesn't want to make more trouble; they've had enough.

"Shuichi will explain it to you after we sort things out, Yuki-san…" Hiro said in an understanding tone, and quickly added before the blonde could respond, "In the meantime… I just hope you can forgive Shuichi."

Yuki let out a snort in amusement. Forgive? Just where had the brat gone wrong that he needed his forgiveness? If there's someone who had to forgive someone else, it's Shuichi.

"Will do, Nakano-san," Yuki stated simply. "If you find him, please tell him to return here soon.."

Hiro nodded before taking several steps toward the door, closing it just as softly as he'd opened it.

-

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The first thing Shuichi noticed when he opened his large violet eyes is Yuki is nowhere to be found.

Actually, he couldn't even see anything.

He could feel panic surge through him; his hands started clawing wildly due to the uncomfortable blindness that confronted him. The boy started desperately to find something to hold onto, something solid to make him believe that he's indeed still alive, because he felt numb. He let out strangled whimpers as his arms refused to move no matter how hard he tried… and neither do his legs.

The last thing he remembers is the faint smell of something that smelled positively like alcohol…and a smirk that he knew damn well.

Tohma's.

Most likely, the jerk had abducted him. He felt a pang of fear boil in his heart, but tried all his might to ignore it—though his mind once again filled with endless possibilities. What could Tohma do to him now? Anything. The room felt unnaturally silent, and he's sure there's no one else but him, and he doubts anyone even knows that he'd been kidnapped.

Yes, Tohma could do anything, even kill him now.

Is he afraid to die? He could absolutely say he isn't. But that's on a normal occasion, and now it's not normal at all.

He hadn't told Yuki how much he was sorry. How much he loves him. Yes, he'd said it back then in the morning, but Yuki hadn't replied to him at all. That meant nothing… if the blonde couldn't recognize him.

He moved the worry and concern at bay to the back of his head, trying to drown them down so he could find some strength to rely on. It's only himself that he could depend on now—no Ryuichi, no Hiro, and on top of that—no Yuki Eiri.

He started to move his slightly fragile body forward, only to bump into hard, solid walls, and the boy couldn't help but wonder where is he now. Before his mind could come to a conclusion, though, he heard a taunting, mocking voice whispering through the air.

"Welcome to your grave, Shindou-san."

-

-

-

12:00 p.m. straight, and still there's no sign of Shuichi.

Yuki let out a sigh as he stared at the digital clock standing proudly on the nightstand. Oh, how he hates that thing—it always shows him the truth cruelly, shoves it right in front of his face. It always screamed to him that he's running out of time, that he couldn't turn back time, that he's…

Just too late to mend everything from the start.

But at least he couldn't hear the mocking sounds of ticking since the clock is digital. It's… better, isn't it?

Probably not, because he had to face silence.

Maybe he'd rather have heard those taunting, mocking sounds than having himself drowned in an endless sea of silence—obviously peeling him one by one, torturing him in regrets. He closed is eyes tightly in the hope he would be able to replay the brat's words this morning… or is it yesterday night?

Either way, it doesn't really matter anymore. He let out a smile to spread across his dry lips as Shuichi's soft, tenor voice entered his mind—a flash of memory blinding through his golden orbs.

"_Look, Yuki. I've peeled the apple for you. And I did it without cutting myself… I'm cool, ne?"_

Yuki mentally snorted in amusement—well, Shuichi, you're cool. You're hot. You're an angel, and yet a devil. You come to me to mend my broken heart only to scatter it again—and do you know it's even more painful than before?

"_Yuki. You still remember it, right? Back then when we were still together—I used to cut myself while trying to help you with cooking. Then you'd call me a damn brat and I'd just whine, I called you a bastard and we ended up throwing insults at each other… but it's okay, isn't it? Because in the end we'll just kiss each other and I know in that moment… that you just call me names to tease me…"_

Another small smile graced his lips as he recalled the brat's rather stupid words, but found them more beautiful than a Shakespeare poem now. If only he could see the boy now—he would go onto his knees, beg him to live with him again without really caring what's actually happened. Two years living without the brat—it's like an eternity of hell for him.

And he'd never realized it before.

He frowned when realized that he doesn't remember anything anymore. He remembers Shuichi say something that vaguely sounded like Tatsuha—and Tohma… but what did they have to do with anything?

Moving forward, he smiled when remembering the words again.

"_Tell me, did you ever love me? Did you ever like me? Did you ever like my presence, even just for a little? A little bit? Tiny…"_

A single tear had slipped from his golden orbs again. The tone that Shuichi had used—it's too desperate and pitiful… It makes his heart ache just to remember it again..

"I love you, brat…" he whispered through the thick silence, hoping that the boy will hear him wherever he was now. He stared at the apple that had turned to a shade of brown due to chemical reaction and once again smiled, before closing his eyes tiredly in frustration.

He needs Shuichi.

-

-

-

"Seguchi-san," Shuichi stated bravely, despite the immense amount of fears that told him to back off and run madly. He keeps his jaws together after slipping the words out, knowing that the manipulative bastard will answer him anyway.

"You're so tough, Shindou-san," Tohma said in mock-awe. If someone else were saying it to him, Shuichi would take it as a compliment. But having it slipped from Tohma's cruel, evil mouth—it's nothing but an insult. An irony that's telling him, 'So you haven't died already, fucking brat.'

"Will you just cut this crap, Seguchi-san? I'm fucking tired from all the sick games you've played," Shuichi snarled harshly, gaining a smirk from the bleach-blonde haired man. Even though he couldn't see it, Shuichi is sure the smirk had formed itself on that so-called angelic face, mocking him cruelly. He hissed as he felt a hand caressing the soft skin of his face softly, tracing lazy circles slowly.

"For someone that looks so angelic like you, the words aren't suiting you at all, Shindou-san," Tohma whispered.

"Let me go!" Shuichi screamed while struggling to get out from the other's grasp. He heard Tohma laugh devilishly, making him remember the time when he'd heard those annoying sounds before. When he saw Tatsuha fuck Tohma.

"What if I say no?" the slightly taller man challenged just as Shuichi felt a cold, metallic thing pressed at the top of his skin. He shuddered in fright but ordered himself to keep in track, to not let the little control he had slip from his slippery hands.

"I will make you to," he threatened lowly. And he discreetly praised himself to actually threaten **the** Tohma Seguchi, although his words fall to no avail. He heard a laugh emitted from the blonde's throat, crueler this time, as pain ripped from his cheeks. It looks like Tohma had slit him with something that felt positively like a razor—but he could care less at this point. All he wanted was to see Yuki…

"Oh, I'm afraid you can't, Shindou-san," Tohma said as he grazed the sharp metal on the boy's left cheek again. Shuichi feels blood begin to pour from his open wound, but refused to let out any sounds that may indicate his pain—he won't give the jerk the satisfaction to see him suffer. "I will let you go, eventually. That is—if you can still go. I'm afraid, by the time it's come, you won't even breathe again. As I've told you before…"

The words went deaf in his ears when Shuichi realized the material over his eyes had been replaced, and now he could see the clear image of what surrounded him. Four dirty, dark walls trapping him, sitting weakly on a small chair, arms bound together on the back, and his legs also tied. But what makes his eyes widen upon a dinner-size plate is the thing that Tohma is clutching now.

It's not a razor, obviously.

But a blade.

"…Welcome to your grave."

Fear started to grip him tightly, almost suffocating him, and one thing that keeps flashing through his mind as he stared at the little evil before him is: He needs Yuki.

-

-

-

By the time the clock shows it's already two in the goddamn afternoon, Yuki couldn't hold himself any longer. He started to push himself off of the bed with the little strength he had left and luckily (or rather, unluckily) succeeded. He weakly walked toward the door, time ticking slowly in his mind as he started thinking about the boy that had stolen his heart away. He had to see Shuichi, not lay on an uncomfortable bed thinking about how much he wanted to see him! The ex-novelist thought begrudgingly. However, before his hand could reach for the doorknob, the hard-wooden door had opened—revealing a familiar redhead looking at him wide-eyed.

"Yuki-san! What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" one certain Nakano Hiroshi cried, almost shoving him to the bed again. Yuki tried to stay still in his place, but Hiro is stronger than him in his weak form—and begrudgingly lay back on the bed again.

"Stay the fuck away from me, Nakano-san," he almost hissed as Hiro started to tuck him in a blanket. "I want to see Shuichi."

A sigh forced itself out of the young doctor's throat as he looked at the blonde apologetically. He'd been searching for the boy for the last five hours, but still there's no sign of Shuichi. He had searched for him in the hospital's cafeteria, the cake shop that Shuichi loves so much, and at the amusement park. No sign of his best friend… and it was really creeping him out.

What if Tohma had found him?

What if Tohma abducted him?

What if Tohma…

He shook at the thought. No, it's not the right time to play the what-if's…Surely there are so many possibilities, but he shouldn't expect the worst.

"I'm trying to search for him, Yuki-san. Please be patient," he said softly. Indeed, he'd come to the blonde's room in hopes of finding the brat. But now that he doesn't find him here… it looks like things had already started to slip out of control again.

"I'm sure he's okay."

And yet the voice in the back of his head betrayed him, as they whispered eerily, 'What if Tohma had killed Shuichi?'

-

-

-

Four in the afternoon, and yet no sign of Shuichi.

Or rather, no sign of Ryuichi either.

Hiro clenched his teeth together in anger. Where the fuck did the hyper bunny go? He's supposed to protect Shuichi, dammit! He roared in his mind as he typed Ryuichi's number on his cellphone's keypad. He'd tried to call him for what it seems like the thousandth time, yet the answer that he'd received is the same monotone, female-like voice.

"_The number that you're calling is not active or is out of the calling area. Please try again in a few minutes."_

And Hiro actually did that, trying to call the green-haired singer again and again after a few minutes while tapping his foot impatiently on the hospital's floor. Yes, he's decided to keep an eye on the ex-novelist; judging by his behavior, he's afraid Yuki may commit something drastic. Luckily the said man is slumbering away now, meaning that his thoughts eased away a little bit.

…Not really.

Sighing, he decided to just call Mika instead.. He'd tried to call Shuichi before, but only received the same words.

And actually slammed the cellphone into the wall when he received the same after dialing Mika's number.

Oh fucking hell… what's the worst that could happen now?

-

-

-

"Why did you hate us so much, Seguchi-san?" Shuichi asked as he tried to ignore the stinging pain on his arms, cheeks and legs. So far, Tohma had slashed the sharp blade on his body about nine times. Two on his left cheek, three on his arms and the rest on his legs. But that's just what the singer felt—who knows if there are any wounds on his form that went unnoticed?

Tohma smirked before he bent down to look at him straight in the eyes. Clear blue met lavender ones, and Shuichi saw so much hatred filling the other's gaze. He felt small under that cruel, merciless gaze, but once again refused to show his suffering. He'd promised to be stronger, hadn't he?

"'Us?' I believe it's 'me', Shindou-san," Tohma started in his oh-so-sweet-tone that was making the boy grimace in distaste. "You are the only one that I hate with all my might." The blonde let out a strange grin, and Shuichi began to doubt the other's sanity, for he looks like the happiest man alive on the earth, yet the saddest one. "You stole my Eiri away!"

A snarl is the only warning the boy received before another pain was ripped from his lower body. Lavender eyes widened in fear as they witnessed crimson liquid begin to pour from the impact of Tohma's attack. Shuichi tried to muffle his scream of agony as Tohma slashed the blade again, at his wrist this time, but noticing that he stops to inspect the abused skin for a brief moment. Another realization hit him like a ton of hard rock, and Shuichi's eyes widened even further if possible, just in time as Tohma's grin grew larger.

**Yuki Eiri.**

He had seen his precious scars.

"Well, well… it seems like our little Shu-chan is a little masochist, ne?" the president whispered as he trailed his finger on the blood-soaked wrist. "So I guess a little more pain isn't going to hurt him, then…"

Now Shuichi couldn't stop himself from screaming. Like a fast train hitting him right across the face, Tohma slashed the abused skin with his gleaming, red-tinted weapon, ignoring the shriek that was emitted from the boy's fragile body as he continued to pour his hatred down—imagining what Eiri's face would look like when he saw his little Shu-chan in such a state now.

-

-

-

7:00 p.m.

Still no sign of Shuichi, and Hiro tried to contact his friends. Ryuichi's cellphone is still off, so are Mika's and Shuichi's, but fortunately K's wasn't. The long-haired manager had ordered him to stay calm and give the boy one hour before reporting to the police.

-

-

-

Ryuichi found himself walking towards the building he wasn't supposed to. Not the hospital where Yuki and Shuichi are, but where Tatsuha lay. He'd spent half of the day thinking about the feelings he had toward the said man, but the only answer he could get is a vague voice that tells him…  
…That he loves him?

Green-haired mop shook in disagreement. How can it even be possible? He hadn't seen Tatsuha for more than two years—and before he and Shuichi had moved to the U.S. they weren't even friends. Yes, he knew about Tatsuha, since he's Yuki's brother and therefore Tohma's brother-in-law, but they only met once at Tohma's wedding party (Ryuichi winced at the thought), and they hadn't formed any further relationship from there. And the only one who'd stayed on his side for the past two years is Shuichi, so if he's falling in love now, the only one who may have stolen his heart is Shuichi.

Even so, why was he happy to see Shuichi and Yuki reunited? If he loves him that way… shouldn't he be sad?

Ryuichi let out another sigh of frustration. Why had this shit come to them now? If they'd stayed in the U.S.… would things be better?

Knowing that he doesn't even believe himself to search for an answer, he points his feet towards the hospital's entrance. The huge clock on the wall shows him that it's already 7:38 p.m., meaning he had been gone from Shuichi's side for almost one day, yet he found himself incapable of stopping. Only when he'd finally arrived in front of the door, with the number 37 and Tatsuha Uesugi's name nailed on the hard-wooden surface, did he freeze. Doubts start to confront him, asking him if this is the best thing to do, insulting him when he once again found no answer.

After taking several deep, calming breaths, he encouraged himself to push the door open. Tatsuha had been transferred from ICU to another room because the doctor said his condition was getting better—and Ryuichi found it slightly unbelievable, since the boy's condition is worse now than last night. Knowing this, he only hopes that Tatsuha is already awake now so he could ask him why he'd actually had the heart to hurt Shuichi, and to find out his own feelings.

Another sigh escaped his parted lips as the door swung open softly, not even a creak dared to break the silence. For a moment or two the only thing that the singer does is stare at the bed in front of him—that's it, before he realized a pair of black eyes were staring back at his clear blue ones.

He immediately froze, as does the owner of those dark eyes, for a brief moment as silence hangs thickly around them before Tatsuha finally rasped out,

"Sakuma-san?"

-

-

-

At 8:00 p.m., Hiro and K went to the police to report about Shuichi. The police give the boy one day before he's officially reported missing, and at 8:25 Hiro had broken down in anger. He'd tried to call Ryuichi again, but his goddamn cellphone was still off, but it didn't stop him from calling.

-

-

-

By the time it's already 9:00 p.m., Shuichi had closed his lavender eyes together in pain as blood poured from his abused body.

-

-


	8. Tell the truth, even if it's hurt us

Truth behind the lies

Chapter 8: Say the Truth, Even If It Hurt Us

-

Yay! A very long chappie! I hope I wasn't make you bored with this! Now the truth will be revealed... mwhahaha *chocobo's evil laughter*

Beta'ed by: Lanie 12777

-

"Sakuma-san?"

Ryuichi stood there, blue eyes widened, lips parted in a wordless scream, hands shaking with what looks like surprise. For a brief moment all he did was stare—the similar thing that the boy in front of him did—staring, watching, seeing.

The green-haired male noticed that Tatsuha really is getting better. It's kinda hard to imagine, since the last time he saw him—and that was yesterday night—the monk had looked positively like the breathing dead. And now, on the contrary, Tatsuha looks healthy, though there's black shadows under his eyes and his skin had turned pale. But the skin on his face looks paler than the rest of his anatomy, and Ryuichi knows what the cause of it is—the poor boy thinks he'll kill him. Well, part of that is undeniably true. But he won't kill him yet, not before he knows the reason behind all of this.

"Tatsuha-kun…" Ryuichi started, giving the sweetest smile he could manage at that moment. He won't make the monk have a heart attack after witnessing his evil demeanor, will he?

"Are you feeling better?"

Tatsuha looks uncertain to answer. For a moment he kept staring at his idol, who looks positively like Tohma with that fake trademark smile. He shuddered at the thought; Ryuichi isn't a manipulative bastard like Tohma… And he won't think about the said man anymore now. Not this time.

And so he decides to answer. Just a soft, yet noticeable nod of the head, followed by a similar soft whisper. "Yes… Thank you."

Ryuichi nodded. It seems like the boy had already calmed a bit, and he's sure it won't hurt too much to get near him. "Well, that's a relief. Now if you don't mind, I have something in mind to ask."

Tatsuha, again, found himself staring. The tone that Ryuichi used is none that he'd ever heard from the man before. There's no usual playful tone in his voice, not even slight tenderness fills it. Only seriousness and what seems like anger. And it doesn't take too long for Tatsuha to find out. Shuichi already told Ryuichi of his confession the day after he got shot.

Instead of sulking at his fate, he once again whispered a yes. And yes, he could clearly hear the angel of death calling his name the moment he realized what's coming next. Ryuichi will absolutely kill him and there's no point denying it.

"First, Tatsuha-kun," Ryuichi said, voice unnaturally calm. "Is the thing that you said to Shuichi true? That you're the one who **fucked** Tohma and pretended to be Yuki-san?"

Tatsuha seems taken aback by the singer's choice of words. It's hard to imagine the innocent Ryu-chan could let dirty words fall from his mouth… that means the said man really is mad right now. Boy, he really wished he wasn't awake from the coma now. The idea of falling deep into an uncomfortable slumber—no matter how uncomfortable it is—is more appealing than seeing Ryuichi's eyes now..

Instead he found himself nodding meekly again.

"Yes…"

"And why did you do that?"

"Because…"

"Yes?"

".."

He couldn't say it. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't say it. He could taste it on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn't let the words out; it choked in his throat and lingered teasingly on his tongue. He couldn't admit to Ryuichi that the cause behind this is Ryuichi himself; it'll be too humiliating.

And so he decides to lock his jaws together. Praying to whatever god that exists to bring him back to unconsciousness, because there's no doubt that Ryuichi will bite him to death anytime now.

"Tatsuha-kun," he heard Ryuichi say. His tone of voice had somehow softened a bit, and it came naturally, making Tatsuha let out the breath he doesn't know he'd been holding for a while. However, it hitched in his throat again when Ryuichi took a seat on the chair beside the bed he's currently lying in.

"Do you know how much you will help us if you just tell me what's really happening? I will not be mad at you, Tatsuha-kun, if I find that you're not guilty. Do you know how much Shuichi has suffered after his separation with Yuki-san? He even tried to commit suicide."

Hearing this, Tatsuha's eyes widened even further if possible. He hangs his mouth open in shock, trying to find some words to retort, but found none. Shuichi? Suicide?... Never matched in one sentence.

Even so, he's fully aware that it's highly possible. If he found the one he loves fucking someone else—or rather, witnessing it before your own eyes, he probably would run away and hang his head on the same day. It's just plain admirable for someone as fragile as Shuichi to survive through all of this—and once again guilt gripped his heart tightly, whispering, 'You're the cause behind all of this.'

The saddest part of it is, he couldn't deny it.

Because it's absolutely true.

Ryuichi stared at the boy in front of him through pitiful blue eyes. Judging by the look on the other's face, he's fully certain that he's just a doll behind Tohma's sick puppet game. Before he could contain himself he found his hands had flown to rest against the boy's pale one, stroking the cold skin softly.

He noticed Tatsuha's eyes practically bulging out from their sockets but decided to pay no mind to it. Instead, he leaned in to whisper, "Please tell me, Tatsuha-kun. Please, help us…"

And that was the last straw for Tatsuha. He couldn't help it anymore. The guilt, the regrets, the burden—he had to let himself free. Even though that means he had to sacrifice himself… he just hopes that it's enough to pay for all the sins he'd done.

He parted his lips just as slightly, soft words beginning to pour from them as he replayed his memories from long ago—two and half years ago—when he was just an innocent sixteen-year-old student.

"It began from my obsession with you, Sakuma-san…"

-

-

-

Tatsuha Uesugi is just a normal, sophomore high school student like the others. He had a handsome face that looks a little adult-like, yet there's still a childlike part of him that obviously lit up his youthful appearances. His intelligence is nothing to be proud of—but they could make him survive through the classes, although his scores were just barely enough to pass. Nonetheless, he was just an ordinary boy.

But there's an obvious difference between him and his other friends that are the same age as him. He was a fellow, biggest fan of the rock band Nittle Grasper. Or rather, he was a fellow, biggest fan of the band's vocal leader, Sakuma Ryuichi.

Sakuma Ryuichi is the most multi-talented singer that he'd ever known. Maybe his 'likeness' towards the older man could be defined as normal if he hadn't started acting like an obsessed, crazed, manic fan—but unfortunately he does. It doesn't take too long for him to realize that he doesn't like Sakuma-san that way. The brilliant singer is not just an idol for him..

Ryuichi is his god.

Sounds ridiculous to our ears—yes, because god is supposed to protect earth with his graceful hegemony, not to rock the world out like Ryuichi does. But no matter what they say, the boy still looks at Ryuichi as his idol. His god. His love. His everything. And it's just a matter of time before his so-called likeness changes drastically into an unhealthy obsession, and every minute of his life spent by daydreaming about the green-haired singer.

So his life is not the same normal life anymore. He forgot how to sleep without dreaming about Ryuichi, forgot how to bathe without imagining how Ryuichi would smell like, forgot how to eat healthy food but strawberry pocky, which Ryuichi really longed for.

And unfortunately, Seguchi Tohma sees the crack in the boy as a possibility to claim what's 'his'.

-

-

-

It was in the middle of summer when Seguchi Tohma and Mikarin soon-to-be Seguchi held their wedding party, in the most luxurious lobby at the most expensive hotel. Rich men, successful entrepreneurs, famous actresses and other big stars come to attend the sacred ceremony. But among their beautiful faces, all Tatsuha could see is one. Who else besides his god—Ryuichi Sakuma? The green-haired singer looked more gorgeous in the monk's eyes that night when he was wearing a formal, yet fashionable outfit—unlike his stage outfit that revealed many parts of his smooth anatomy (not like Tatsuha would have objected if he wears that).

The boy flies high to cloud nine when his soon-to-be-brother-in-law invited him to the party. Well, actually the one who Seguchi invited is his brother, Yuki Uesugi—or rather, Yuki Eiri. But he insisted to go with the reason that he's also Mika's brother, and they fortunately agree. So his daydreaming of Ryuichi turns into a daydream of Ryuichi with a breathing Ryuichi right in front of him.

It was in the middle of the party when Tohma tapped him playfully on the back and he half-heartedly tears his eyes away from the oblivious singer. He raised an eyebrow when noticing Tohma's trademark evil grin spread out on his somewhat childlike face, and actually got an instant heart attack when the bleach-blonde president whispered sweetly into his ear, "I could make Ryuichi fall in love with you."

What a shock therapy.

He locks his jaws together for a long time, not really trusting himself to speak, and the word that he lets out is a slightly rasped, "How?"

"Well, you see, Tatsuha-kun. Even though you may not believe it—but Ryuichi loves a man who wasn't shy to touch himself. So if you want to steal his heart, you must 'practice' from now on. He thinks… that kind of man is sexy…"

Tatsuha is really, really stupid to believe such silly lies, but for someone as innocent as him—he does. He wasn't aware that Tohma wasn't making a plan to make him happy, but the opposite—he was digging a grave for him.

"Are you sure, Tohma-san?"

"I'm his band mate and best friend, Tatsuha-kun."

And he falls there, on his oh-so-happy wishes.

-

-

-

After his long discussion with Tohma, Tatsuha began to build the characteristics of the sexy-kind man that (he thought) Ryuichi loves so much. He started to touch himself, dreaming that he was with Ryuichi while he was doing that, and screaming the older singer's name loud and clear when he approached his climax.

But one mistake that he did was on that fateful night. It's the most idiotic, dirtiest, biggest mistake that he'd ever do.

He remembers that it was Sunday when Tohma invited him to his apartment. He said he wanted to talk further about their little plan of stealing Ryuichi's heart away, and the monk happily obliged. He biked off the road from Kyoto to the bleach-blonde haired man's place in record time, afraid that Mika had already come back from her trip by the time he reached there. Fortunately for him—and unfortunately for what was about to come—the lady wasn't home when he gets there. So he happily entered the simple, yet glorious apartment—all the while oblivious with the fate that will encounter him soon.

It was a cold night. Tohma offered him a drink and he accepted it wholeheartedly, even though he wasn't best in dealing with alcohol. After the first try, he asked for more. And more, and more, and more, and more—until the bottle is nothing but an air-filled green glass. The alcohol takes so much effect on the poor boy, even though he'd already drunk several times before—but Tohma gave him a strong one, and they undeniably make him drunk. He started to act silly and idiotic, dancing all the while as Tohma simply stared in amusement—but the worst part of it is, he's horny as hell.

It's not the alcohol's doing, mind you. Maybe alcohol could make him slightly more stupid than usual, but it wasn't making him horny. The thing that put him in such a state is the little pill that Tohma slipped had in his glass when he wasn't looking…

And so he started looking for touches. For kisses. For release—for someone to take the ache from his body. And the only one who could do that is Tohma, for he's the only one that was in the same room as him. The drunken boy really couldn't help it any longer when he felt Tohma grinding on his back, whispering seductively, "Fuck me… Tatsuha-kun… and scream Ryuichi's name when you do…"

And he did exactly that. In and out, he enters the blonde's smaller body in such passion that it made Tohma beg for more—screaming Ryuichi's name loud and clear, just like when he touched himself. He imagined the bleach-blonde mop as the green one, the trademark smirk as an innocent one, the plump lips as a pouty one—though it's slightly hard for him to do that..

Little did he know that Tohma embroidered all his acts, on a little thing named tapes.

And when morning comes, he doesn't know what's happening, before Tohma happily told him of last night's activities.

-

-

-

"**Last night, Tatsuha-kun, I made you drunk. And I asked you to fuck me—to which you happily obliged.**

**Do you know why you were suddenly horny? Well, let's hear this news. I slipped drugs in your drink. It's not my fault if you act so innocent and stuff—and congratulation, Tatsuha-kun, you officially buried yourself alive.**

**Remember when I told you Ryuichi loves a man who likes to touch himself? Good news—I lied. It was the most disgusting type of man that Ryuichi swore he'll never befriend, let alone date him. That means you have no chance to date my bandmate because he's disgusted by you. I've recorded the time when you were masturbating and passionately screaming his name loudly… All I did is show the tape of you , and voila—he doesn't even want to know you.**

**And after last night's activities, Tatsuha-kun, he will be more disgusted of you than ever. It will be very disgusting to hear you screaming 'Ryuichi' and me screaming 'rape', you're in passion but I'm in fear. Yes, I made a scenario so it looks like I was the innocent victim—and don't even dare to hope because he will believe me rather than you. Who are you, by the way? He doesn't even know you. Not that he wants to. But me, I'm his bandmate, his best friend, the one he used to rely on, the one who made his name big. Don't try to hope, dearest brother-in-law. Don't try.**

**And with this tape, he surely will choke you to death for raping his best friend—me, Seguchi Tohma.**

**But maybe I'll give you a little hope, ne? Because maybe I'm evil—but I'm still a kind evil after all."**

-

-

-

Ryuichi stared at the poor boy in front of him in disbelief. So the reason why he did that—is himself?

As if sensing his wonderment, Tatsuha nodded meekly. The teenager looks positively on the verge of tears right now—or rather, on the verge of running away madly before hanging his head in frustration.

And once again, Ryuichi doesn't know how to feel. For a moment he feels disgusted, and then went into anger, and now… once again he felt pity. And maybe the latter is what he felt the most right now, for he gave the boy a smile before saying softly, "Please continue, Tatsuha-kun."

The said guy looks up at him in surprise. He'd expected for Ryuichi to storm off out of the room after yelling at him a thousand times, but now that he wasn't… well, let's just say that it's unbelievable.

-

-

-

"_This is my only and best offer," Tohma said as he smiled cruelly at the boy that currently lay on his side, wearing his usual trademark grin that somehow made Tatsuha have a strong urge to punch him. He holds himself back though, knowing that Ryuichi will hate him more if he does something bad to his (so-called) best friend. _

_So he tried with all his might to keep his patience. For someone as short-tempered as Tatsuha it's certainly hard work, but fortunately he did it. The only sound that indicates his irritation is a hiss of, "What?"_

"_No need to be angry, Tatsuha-kun," Tohma said in his oh-so-sweet voice as he brushed some dark bangs from the boy's forehead. The teenager hissed but made no move to brush the flesh off of him; thoughts of Ryuichi wasn't allowing him to._

"_Here's the deal. You have to help me with a few things… in order to make Eiri mine."_

-

-

-

Shuichi could feel the vague warmth as the sun began to rise creep from the closed window, yet the raven-haired singer made no move to wake. His body hurt because of what Tohma did last night—his legs still pour a little amount of blood, his arms ache and his head is throbbing. He feels like throwing up any moment right now, but there's nothing left in him to be out of. So he keeps pretending to fall asleep, hoping that Tohma will take a little pity on him and let him be.

Which unfortunately—and unsurprisingly—wasn't happening.

The singer heard Tohma's footsteps drawing nearer as he felt his breath hitch in his throat, yet once again he refused to open his eyes. The bleach-blonde's footsteps, he remembered, were usually elegant but now harsh. They stomped on the floor with noticeable noise, but the movements that Tohma made were still elegant and mannerly. But now—maybe because Tohma had lost his mind—the elegance was wearing thin, leaving only harshness that almost sounds ungraceful.

And now he could feel Tohma standing right beside him, who was currently curled up on the cold, dirty floor. The blonde's fragrance lingered on the air more than necessary, almost suffocating him with fear for what was about to come. Yet, once again, his eyelids are still glued to his skin—refusing even the slightest movement to open them.

That's it, before he felt cold liquid being poured all over his aching body. Violet eyes snapped open in reflex and his fragile body almost jumped in alarm when the cold substance hurt his open wounds.

"I know you're awake, Shindou-san," Tohma said sweetly, and Shuichi couldn't help but grimace again. Oh how he hates that soft tone, that fake smile and that tainted innocence—but most of all, he hates that endearing 'san'. The president looks positively mocking to him when he said that, and Shuichi hates to be mocked—especially by someone like him.

"I know you're awake, Shindou-san," Shuichi heard Tohma say again, but he still faced the blonde with his back. "Yet you refuse to acknowledge me."

A snap on the head, followed with a searing pain on his back, is more than enough to make Shuichi's body flip in reflex. He stared at the evil man with fear, even though his lips were still formed into a thin line. Tohma grinned as he cooed softly, "Are you finally ready to agree with my offer?"

Shuichi wanted to wipe that smile off of that angelic face, so the evil beneath will be revealed for the world to see. What a hypocrite! His inner-thoughts screamed. For a moment Tohma acts like the cruelest thing alive on the world, then one minute passed and he's the innocent Tohma that everyone had ever known. Even though for some reason, Shuichi believes that he's the only one who'd ever seen a cruel Tohma—for the blonde always wore his trademark mask when it comes to someone else rather than him.

And Tatsuha.

He smiled, because he knew that if the blonde wanted to see him suffer, he had to give him the opposite. Not to irritate him, not to make the mad man even more maddened, but to prove that he's indeed strong—telling him that he could break him from the outside, but he will be strong on the inside, as long as there's Yuki.

"I told you, Seguchi-san," he said, once again responding to Tohma's sweet tone by giving a sweeter, more innocent one. "I love Yuki. So there's no way in hell I will give him up—especially for someone like you."

As predicted, one of Tohma's hands flew to snap the back of his head. For a moment he saw white before it vaguely turned into a blurred vision, and that's when he realized what he was doing.

He's crying.

The immense amount of pain that was searing throughout his abused body couldn't hurt him that bad, so it's not the reason why he's crying—it's the image of Yuki doing that. He couldn't help but imagine how Yuki was right now, who's sitting beside him to take care of him, what he was feeling right now…

Tohma grinned evilly as he saw the fresh, warm liquid pour from the boy's wide lavender eyes. The victory had lingered around him—and it was just a matter of time for him to posses it and make Eiri totally his.

"You do realize that once again you've made the most idiotic mistake in your life, don't you?" Tohma cooed softly. "Eiri will be mine, whether you want it or not. I swear, Shindou-san, I will break you both from the inside and outside, and hang your empty shell for the world to see how weak you are."

As Tohma takes his leave, the silver trail of tears still refused to stop. And Shuichi couldn't help but agree with Tohma's words… that he's, indeed, just a human…

…With so many weaknesses.

-

-

-

Yuki tilted his head to the side when he heard the door being opened, revealing a very panic Mika. His big sister, he noticed, was wearing nothing more than a simple khaki jacket and white dress, her usual fashionable outfit being neglected as she practically looks like she'd just woken up from sleep. Brown hair stood out messily as the lady in front of him ran towards them—yes, them—for there's also Nakano Hiroshi sitting on a chair beside him.

…From yesterday night.

Really, can't they stop treating him like a goddamn baby? Though if it's Shuichi who was sitting beside him, he wouldn't complain at all…

He saw Nakano's grey eyes narrowed dangerously in anger as Mika began to explain the situation to him, and they narrowed even further as each word escaped from her un-lipstick-ed lips.

"So you're saying that you left your cellphone in your car when you were 'investigating' Taki Aizawa? Great, Mika-san. Just great! I tell you what, Shuichi is missing from yesterday and Ryuichi is nowhere to be found!" the doctor snarled angrily just as golden eyes widened in alarm. Taki Aizawa? What did he have to do with anything?

Meanwhile Mika and Hiro were just too busy dealing with their own nerves that they didn't realize Yuki started to draw conclusions. Even though it's still blurry, a few facts help him to reach some ideas—Tohma, Tatsuha, and Taki Aizawa. Whatever it is, it has a relation with the event that happened two years ago—probably the reason behind his separation with Shuichi.

Hissing in anger, he whispered thickly through the tensed air, "Tell me what the fuck is going on or I'll suck the life out of your sorry asses, Nakano-san, Mikarin."

-

-

-

Sitting in the dark, dusty cellar, Shuichi couldn't stop himself from thinking. A rare thing to do, yes, because Shuichi Shindou would rather spend his day by munching on strawberry pocky or blabbering about nonsense than wasting his time by thinking. But not now—not when he's just one step closer approaching death's door.

Realization tells him bitterly that sooner or later, Tohma will break him outside, and it will also break him from the inside. Awareness whispered cruelly at him that if he dies, his bravery equals nothing. And so he thought, if Tohma could hurt him physically, then it's just a matter of time before he wiped him out wholly…

One thing that keeps flashing in his mind is why Tohma did this to him. He knew of the bleach-blonde's sick obsession with Yuki—but if he really loves Yuki, then, why wasn't he grateful to see him happy? If he was Tohma he would do anything to make Yuki happy, even though it means he couldn't make him his. Because he knew, as cliché as it sounds, that love doesn't always mean owning.

A whimper unwillingly escaped his cold lips as he started to move his throbbing arms. He'd tried with all his might to escape the ropes, but they're just too tight, to the point it felt absolutely painful. If only he could find something to rip it… then maybe he could run away and go back to Yuki's place?

His raven mop shook in disagreement. If he actually had the guts to do that, the possibility is extremely low. His legs are too tired to even move, and he had no idea where he was—meaning that he had no path to go. Moreover he's pretty sure that Tohma locked the room from the outside, and since there's no other entrance but the door alone and a small ventilation, it's just plain impossible for him to escape.

So this is the end? Shuichi thought bitterly. He doesn't want his life to end this way—because he started it with an awesome scene, so he wanted to end it with an alright one too. Not to die in a dark room all alone, but dying in his lover's arms—Yuki Eiri—under sunshine that bathed both of them.

…But who can decide it anyway? All he could manage is dreaming.

Somewhere among his thoughts, he heard Tohma's words whispered eerily in his ear again. Not vaguely, he could hear it clearly like the obsessed man was really there beside him, watching him suffer, mocking him…

"_Maybe I'm evil, but I'm still a kind evil after all… Say, Shuichi, if you agree with this—I will let you live as long as you want. All you have to do is give up on Yuki and let him go back where he belongs… to me…"_

Is life without Yuki better than death?

For full certainty, Shuichi could say it wasn't. He'd felt how it feels like living without Yuki at his side for two years, and it positively was like a living hell for him. Living without Yuki made his life incomplete, so there's only one conclusion that reached his mind.

He'd rather die.

-

-

-

No.

No, no, no, no, no, no!

**NO!**

For a minute the ex-novelist could feel he lost a heartbeat or two. His breathing hitched in his throat, and all he could do is stare at the two figures before him, who nervously stare back.

"Please tell me that you're joking, Hiro," he rasped out, and realized that he's in denial. He wanted them to lie to him so that he won't believe that it's true, yet when he saw their faces he was one hundred percent sure that they told him the truth… But why did it feel so impossible?

Yes, it's impossible for his baby brother Tatsuha Uesugi to pretend to be him and fuck Tohma Seguchi in front of his lover Shuichi Shindou and make him go away with Ryuichi Sakuma. It's impossible for Tohma Seguchi to hire Taki Aizawa to hurt him in order to prevent him from attending Bad Luck's concert that ended up making him hospitalized. It's impossible for Taki Aizawa to shoot Shuichi Shindou but fail and hurt Tatsuha Uesugi instead—sending him to the hospital too, just like him.

It's impossible that the cause behind all of this is Tatsuha Uesugi and Tohma Seguchi.

Well, maybe the latter is rather possible since he's a maniac after all… but Tatsuha, really? He like, adored Shuichi, just like he adored Ryuichi?

As if sensing his confusion, Hiro tapped him on the shoulder. He looks up uncertainly, wide golden eyes still staring blankly. Luckily for him, his breathing ran on autopilot, but unfortunately his eyes weren't. He could feel his eyes hurt due to the lack of liquid, but found he forgot what to do…

"Blink, Yuki-san.. Please," Hiroshi tells him softly, and he surprisingly obliged. He blinks, just one movement of the eye, before forgetting what to do again.

Because it's all too much.

"I know it sounds ridiculous to your ears, Yuki-san, but please believe us, it's also ridiculous for us too," Nakano-san tells him again just as Mikarin nodded in agreement. He blinked in confusion again when nonsense began reaching his mind.

"But don't be mad at Tatsuha yet, Eiri… We're sure that Tohma pushed him to do that… Please, breathe," Hiroshi said, and he realized when he blinks, he forgets how to breathe. Does it mean that his autopilot had crashed just in way he lost the rational part of him?

How funny.

"…So, Tohma knew that he failed to… kill Shuichi?" the blonde managed, flinching when he said the word 'kill'. He mentally cursed himself, screaming how weak, how weak, how weak he was without the raven-haired nuisance…

How weak he was when he saw Nakano nod guiltily…

"Does it mean that the bastard is searching for him now?"

How weak he was when Mikarin said yes…

"Does it mean that Shuichi is with him now?"

How weak he was to dare to hope when they said they don't know…

"Does it mean that Shuichi is with **him** now?"

But then again, he realized that he's, indeed, a human.

…With so many weaknesses…

-

-

-

"You know, I think I'm pretty bored right now. How long will it take for them to realize that you're here with me… Hey wait, maybe they aren't looking for you at all? Aw, that's very poor of you, Shindou-san…"

Shuichi hissed in anger as he heard those cruel words escape from Tohma's equally cruel lips. He snarled and backed off a little in reflex when Tohma approached him softly, drawing lazy circles on his blood-caked legs.

"It will be easier for you to say yes, Shindou-san. You could escape me and go back to the U.S. along with your new boyfriend, Ryu-chan…"

A hiss escaped his bruised lips again as Shuichi tried to brush the cold flesh off of his aching legs. He glared openly at the devil before him before he rasped out, "Sakuma-san is not my boyfriend."

"Oh, is that so? What's up with the endearing 'chan' anyway? I thought the two of you already had a loving pet name for each other?" Tohma taunted sweetly. "Or is it because you're afraid Yuki will find out? Don't worry, I won't tell… literally."

"I've told you, Seguchi-san. We're not lovers."

"Really? But magazines say so. And trust me, paparazzi tell the truth behind the lies, Shindou-san… Say, does he taste good?" the bleach-blonde now already stood proudly beside him now, gazing at him with his usual piercing stare. "Does it feel good when he enters you? Compared to Eiri?"

"You're delusional."

"Maybe."

Silence again, and Shuichi was grateful for that. However it didn't last too long before Tohma spoke again.

"Why do you love Eiri?"

Shuichi smirked. This one he could answer easily… because he doesn't know why.

"I don't know. And I could ask you the same. Why do you love Eiri?"

"I could answer you the same. I don't know."

Silence…

"You know, maybe at least we have one thing in common after all, Shindou-san," the slightly taller man said as he began to walk toward the half-opened door.

"We're both crazy for Eiri."

-

-

-

Ryuichi was on the verge of tears by the time Tatsuha was done explaining his story. He couldn't believe that Tohma could be so cruel to even stab his own brother-in-law just to get what he wanted…

Is he still the same Tohma Seguchi? He could say he wasn't. Maybe Tohma Seguchi, the keyboardist of Nittle Grasper, is a little hardworking and slightly arrogant—but the Tohma Seguchi that he saw now is not the same man. Where's the Tohma who usually comforts him when he's afraid? Tohma that often tells him everything will be okay when he's too scared to climb the stage?

He's gone.

Replaced with a cruel, heartless monster.

"So… that's the whole story? You're not lying, are you, Tatsuha-kun?" the green-haired male asked, and couldn't hold himself any longer as the boy nodded with fresh tears falling from his dark orbs. He sobbed noticeably when Tatsuha started burying his head in his hands, all the time his screaming of 'I'm stupid' muffled by his own flesh upon his lips. Now he could sense pity run through him, without accompanyied with anger or other feelings…

He was just about to bend down and hug the boy who was currently curled on the hospital's floor (he's crying so hysterically that he fell from the bed earlier) when the door burst open. Blue eyes widened even further if possible as they fall to the sight before them—a paniced Mikarin Uesugi, an unnaturally silent Nakano Hiroshi, and on top of that, there was a maddened Yuki Eiri.

He gasped as one of the ex-novelist's hands flew to grip him by the collar, at the same time Tatsuha looks up and practically froze in fear. Even in his weakened state the grip around his neck felt absolutely painful, and a whimper escaped his lips before he could hold himself back, and actually felt the grip tighten as the blonde snarled dangerously, "Do you know that Shuichi is gone?"

-

-

-

"_**Don't worry, Tatsuha-kun, it's not that bad. It could even be enjoyable for you to do this…Yeah, enjoyable…"**_

"_Tell me, Yuki!" he yelled as the tears fall from his eyes again. "How could you do this to me?"_

"**All you have to do is fuck me when Eiri is gone for his promotional tour… you have to pretend to be him so that Shuichi will think that Eiri betrayed him..."**

_A golden eyebrow furrowed rather suggestively. "Do what?"_

"**Then Shuichi will break down, and surely he will move out of the apartment… quit Bad Luck…"**

"_This! How could you fuck this whore when you're with me?! What's wrong with me Yuki? Why can't I be good enough for you? Tell me, dammit!"_

"**I don't know, maybe, hopefully, commit suicide? It will be better if he's gone from this earth completely…"**

"_You should have see it coming, Brat," he answers finally, "I don't love you."_

"**Then Yuki will wonder why Shuichi left him, that's when I will comfort him and give him the love he needs…"**

_The words hit Shuichi like a sword, stabbing his heart over and over again until it stops beating. His amethyst eyes snapped open, revealing only pain and sadness in them. "But…"_

"**I will be his shoulder to cry on, his angel… then it's just a matter of time before he starts to love me back."**

"_No buts, Shu.. I don't love you, and I don't give a fuck whether you love me or not. You're just a toy for me, and honestly—I'm tired of you. Now that I have Tohma as my new fuck toy, why should I use you?"_

"**The hell with Shuichi… I don't care whatever will happen to him."**

"_So this is over, then."_

"**Eiri will be mine."**

"_Yes."_

I'm sorry…


	9. Fly in the wall

Chapter 9: Fly in the wall

-

Before you start reading though, I wanna say that the fic finally getting closer and closer to the end! So I'm gonna make **a poll** to see how you wanted to end it **(whether Tohma die or not, etc etc...)** make sure to** vote,** mmkay? thanks!

Thanks for Lanie12777, my super patient beta!

-

Strangely enough silence had been familiar to his ears, to Sakuma Ryuichi's ears—to the bubbly, noisy, blabbering Ryu-chan's ears.

So why did this kind of silence torture him?

Oh yes, because it is accompanied with guilt. Followed with agony and regrets, making his blurry blue eyes become even more glimmering with unshed tears that soon will fall due to his fragile heart. No one in the small room dared to break the silence that still lingered thickly around them, but that no one obviously excluded Yuki Eiri, for the blonde then snarled dangerously, cutting through the hollow emptiness.

"Yes, Shuichi is gone, Sakuma. You were to look after him, yet you chose to visit my goddamn brother for nonsense!" the ex-novelist roared in anger, pointing at Tatsuha with a slightly twitching finger. "Why did you care to visit this crap, anyway? He's the reason behind my separation with Shuichi!"

The words hit Tatsuha harder than any other words could. Hearing them slip from anyone else's lips—especially his own brother—make his heart ache furiously for forgiveness. He wanted to beg, plead, to cling on his brother's legs in order to gain some mercy and beliefs—yet his jaw still locked together, lips formed into a thin line. He bows his head down in shame, and Ryuichi couldn't help but feel pity shoot through him again. He wanted to go there and comfort the boy… But how can he comfort him when he couldn't even comfort his own furious heart?

So instead, he remained in his spot. No words come from his parted lips, because for a moment, his vocabulary had been thrown out to the sea. The only word that he could manage is a soft, "Sorry…"

He kept chanting it again and again until Yuki's eyes finally softened at least a bit, though it is barely noticeable. The ex-novelist took several deep breaths after Hiroshi's encouragement before speaking up again.

"You better have a smart reason as to why you did this," Yuki said grimly, directing it to Ryuichi even though his piercing stare is still glued to Tatsuha, "And you, you fucking ungrateful little puke, you better have a smarter reason why you did this to **us**! What the hell is your fucking problem? Do you hate me that much that you decided to fuck with it and mess with my relationship?! Or is it because Shuichi is so much like Ryuichi that you had the urge to mess with both of us then screw his brains out?!"

Tatsuha stared at Yuki before shaking his head meekly, his brother's piercing gaze at him enough to tell everyone in the room that what he referred by 'ungrateful little puke' is 'ungrateful little brother.' It hurts. It hurts so bad that he doesn't know which is the worst—the fact that Yuki thinks he did that by his own will, or the fact that his own sibling thinks he wanted Shuichi just because he looks like Ryuichi. He cast a quick glance at Ryuichi, who had his eyes widened and lips parted, shocked.

"It's not that—"Tatsuha began, but Yuki's voice immediately cut in.

"That what? That you just wanted to fuck Tohma and because you, unfortunately, had the same appearance as me, used it to your own fucking benefit? Well, congratulations, young man. You've officially ruined my life!"

Mika bit her lips worriedly as she saw Tatsuha trembling; his jaw barely clenched enough to muffle any whimper that may escape. "Calm down, Eiri…" the girl suggested worriedly, but Yuki merely cast his attention to her. The only thing that is being muttered by his lips is the same hard, frigid words, "Shut up."

Despite the pain that Yuki's words caused, Tatsuha decided to straighten things out by rasping out, "Tohma forced me."

Yuki let out a snort. An underestimated, mocking snort. As if to tell Tatsuha that his excuse is the most disgusting thing he'd ever heard and the words alone were enough to make him vomit.

"Forced you? For what?" he began softly, but his voice raised an octave higher as his emotions bubbled again. "Don't give me that excuse, you pathetic little fucker! If Tohma really forced you, why didn't you just tell me what happened?! Instead you just wait for two fucking years, after my goddamn heart's broken, after Shuichi's broken, after you messed both of us up! You're lucky that Mika and Hiro think you're innocent, but I'm not that fo—"

Mika let out a gasp as Yuki coughed and blood made its way down from his parted lips, his form trembling in both fury and pain. Hiro immediately rushed over to his side just in time as Yuki's knees started wobbling; the blonde's head dropped weakly as he barely keeps his breath in control, but he managed to whisper those words before he suddenly fainted.

"…I hope you die."

-

-

-

"How is he?"

If they were in a normal occasion, Hiro will let a smile linger on his lips upon seeing Mika staring at him expectedly with concern written clearly all over her gorgeous features, because it's rare to find that the oldest Uesugi obviously cares about her siblings. But they had Shuichi missing—probably being abducted by someone who had great potential as a murderer, Tatsuha who was stuck on the breaking point after hearing his brother's words, the equally frustrated Ryuichi who blamed himself as the cause of Shuichi's abduction and on top of it all, a certain Yuki Eiri who fell into critical condition again. Thankfully he's not in a coma, but still it didn't help to make the occasion normal.

So, no, he doesn't smile.

"He's fine, though he's still fast asleep," Hiro said briefly. After Yuki fainted five hours ago they had taken him back to the hospital; Hiro, as a doctor, had immediately given him the first help. It seems like the wounds on Yuki's body are too much for him to handle, and this added with his mental condition that was getting worse and worse. Mika released the breath that she'd unconsciously been holding before slumping in her seat; they're both outside Yuki's room because Hiro said it won't do him any good if they don't give him enough time to sleep.

"What about Shuichi?" Hiro said as he placed himself beside Mika.

"Well, I've called K and he's still searching for him right now. The police still refuse to search for him because it's just…" checking her watch, Mika calculated the time since it's already 7 in the morning. "…13 hours since he was reported missing."

Thirteen hours is not a short time, Hiro thought begrudgingly, shaking his head in disappointment. Moreover, Shuichi had gone a long time before they decided to report to the police. It's probably over eighteen hours since he's been gone by now.

"And? Any news from K?"

"No. He's searched everywhere, Yuki's place, Tohma's place, NG, everywhere—but still nothing. Aizawa said he doesn't know either—"

Suddenly, a classic ringing tone could be heard throughout Mika's purple pursue, startling them both. Rather begrudgingly she fumbled through the small bag to search for the source of the annoying sound, which was none other than her cell phone that had Ryuichi's name on its screen. Shrugging as Hiro shot her a questioning look she pushes the talk button before saying rather emotionlessly, "Moshi-moshi."

"Hi! Uh… Moshi-moshi Mika-san…" Ryuichi's voice, that had gone one octave higher through the electronic thing, quickly replied, "…um, Mika-san, I think that we have a little problem right here…"

Almost groaning both in frustration and annoyance, Mika rolled her eyes briefly before returning her attention back to the still-ranting Ryuichi. At the mention of the word 'media' Mika's eyes immediately widened, realization dawning on her as fast as a storm.

"So… you're saying that the media has found out?!" she asked worriedly. It will do no good for all of them, because they don't know exactly what's happening, and the lady knew better than to trust the press on this case. They'll probably just end up making gossips and stories that are far from the truth. If it's happening, not only Tohma's career will be ended (not that she cared about it), but Shuichi's, Yuki's, Ryuichi's and even Bad Luck and Vladester will be in danger too.

"…I see. I'll be there as fast as possible, since Eiri is still asleep right now." That was the last thing that was uttered by Mika's lip-glossed lips before she put the phone back into her pursue, standing straight in one elegant movement and dusting her dress for a while. Hiro shot her a questioning look again, wondering where the oldest Uesugi will go.

"Hiro-san, it looks like the situation isn't getting better. The issue has leaked out to the media and there's a bunch of reporters flooding Tatsuha's room right now, so Ryuichi needs our help to straightening things out."

Raising an eyebrow, Hiro asked dully, "What if Yuki-san wakes when we leave?"

"Don't worry; it will not take that much time. I'd go by myself if I could, but Ryuichi had mentioned that the situation couldn't be handled by just both of us. Tatsuha is out of the question, really."

Shrugging after confirming the truth that revolved around Mika's words Hiro started to stand up as well, grabbing his coat from the armchair before escorting Mika to the lift. A vague voice that was echoing in the back of his mind was whispering that what they did now will just make things worse—but unfortunately, or even fortunately, Hiro decided to ignore it and just silently prayed for the best.

-

-

-

Yuki woke up to the sound of his own screaming and started panting heavily on his bed, golden eyes snapped wide and chest raised up and down frantically as he struggled to catch his breath. Shaking his head furiously he took a quick glance at the clock that is standing proudly on the small nightstand, eyes widening even further after he realized that it's already 8 in the morning.

He sighed as his head lowered itself back to the pillow again, allowing himself to calm down a bit. The bad dream—the nightmare that he'd just experienced, is the worst from everything, and he found his body shuddering at the thought of the dream again.

He'd dreamed that Shuichi is dead.

It started with him standing alone on the middle of a messy room, blood scattered all over the wall, the floor—everywhere—the broken body of his lover that barely could be identified lying lifelessly on the tainted marble. A pair of familiar lavender eyes stared at him unblinkingly, and Yuki found himself vomiting at the sight, because the eyes that he'd longed for no longer held any kind of emotion in them—they're dead, not even the slightest flicker of life flaming. His lover's lips are parted slightly, and Yuki could've sworn that he's screaming for help, although there's no single word that could be uttered from them—because he's dead—his neck is bruised badly, and his arms are being removed from his body. They hang brokenly with a fragile-looking rope, Shuichi's delicate fingers dripping with fresh blood that still poured from them.

Then he saw Tohma. He clutched a samurai blade in his left hand, the sharp iron glinting with crimson liquid while his other hand clutched a lighter. The bleach-blond then walked toward him and he found himself incapable to move, even when Tohma pressed his lips against his own and claimed him as his.

After that, all he could see is Shuichi staring at him lifelessly, his lavender eyes wide, accusing and glaring as the fire swallowed his broken form.

"No…" Yuki croaked weakly, his voice raspy from all his screaming. It's such luck that no doctor or nurse were coming to his room to check on his condition. He shook his head again as he started to push himself off of the bed, still shuddering.

He knows that it's just a dream. But… what if it's a sign? What if it's an omen that tells him what will happen later—the flash of future that tells him how his story with Shuichi will end? Because, even though he hated to admit it, everything felt scarily real. Even now he could still feel the taste of Tohma's lips against his own…

Wiping his lips with the back of his hand, the blonde started to remove the IV that stuck on his wrist. He doesn't care anymore—he has to find Shuichi, or else he will go crazy. But… where? Where? Where will you go if you're Seguchi Tohma?

"…If I was Seguchi…"

Smiling faintly after an idea reached his mind, the ex-novelist grabbed a light coat from the table, wrapping it tight around his body to suppress the shiver. He'd heard earlier that Mika bought two of her cars to the hospital, just in case they needed something immediately. Knowing that she always had a spare key with him he began fumbling with his pockets, smirking lightly as he found it. Mika… he had to thank the girl later—both to her idiocy and brilliant mind.

Pushing the door open and glancing around the empty hallway, he let out a sigh of relief—apparently Mika and Hiro are gone. Making his way towards the lift Yuki did something that he'd never done before, but had become a routine for the past one week—praying. Closing his eyes and wishing that everything is gonna be okay, he calmly leaped out to the lift, ignoring the sting on his chest that hardly could be ignored anymore.

-

-

-

"_Where are we?" _

_Tohma only smiled as he gazed at his beautiful occupant. It really is perfect, and he had no slightest intention to break that perfection—the yellowish light as the sun started to leave its peak illuminating his brother-in-law's face makes him even more beautiful. Yes, he could just gaze dreamingly at the angelic face as long as he wanted, but a grunt from the angel snaps him back to the earth. He keeps smiling, because the angel only deserved kindness and love and attention and a lot more—and he's more than willing to give them all._

"_Where are we, Tohma?"_

_Hearing his name being called by those sinful, yet sweet lips is enough to fly him high to seventh heaven. Yet he refused to show his obvious lust and love—of course—because this angel isn't his… yet._

"_This is my secret place, Yuki-san," Seguchi explained as briefly as possible. "Nobody know this place, except me and now you of course."_

_Yuki nodded in understanding as he gazed through the scenery that surrounds them, admitting silently to himself that the place is indeed beautiful. They were now currently in Tohma's house—no, mansion, because the place looks positively like one. It's located far from the city and there's no other building around it, so it's only the two of them there. Earlier that day Tohma had invited him there to watch sunset. Of course, Yuki Eiri, being the stubborn bastard that he is, refused to agree. But of course, Tohma Seguchi, being the equally stubborn manipulative evil that he is, insisted and Yuki begrudgingly said yes._

_And now Yuki doesn't feel as bad as earlier, and that's all thanks to the mansion's beauty itself. A pair of golden eyes watched in silent admiration at the live painting scattered before them, who now is watching them from the upstairs balcony. He let out a sigh, knowing that it'll be more beautiful if it's Shuichi sitting at his side, not Tohma Seguchi._

_Yes, it's been one year and a half after he's gone._

_And the now-ex-novelist still couldn't believe it. Tohma had been kind (cruel) enough to look after him and keep the closest eyes on him, but the ache in his heart still couldn't be healed. Only Shuichi could do that. Only Shuichi…_

_He snapped out of his thoughts as he felt warm flesh close itself against his hand and quickly pulled it like it's some kind of electrical shot. The owner of that warm flesh is none other than Seguchi Tohma—yes, who else since there's only the two of them there?—and the said man only grinned in response._

"_Shut it, Tohma," he snarled warningly. But either Seguchi has lost his mind or is immune to his glare (both), since it didn't take effect on him. Again the bleach-blonde guy only grinned as innocently as possible._

"_But we know you wanted it, Eiri. You're lonely…" the last sentence is emitted as what is supposed to be sexy whispers, but for Yuki the older male only makes a fool of himself. He stood from his seat and prepared to leave, all the while glaring intently. _

"_I'm leaving."_

_And of course, Tohma will never let him go. Not yet anyway._

"_No! Wait! I mean… I'm sorry, Eiri. I shouldn't do that… I just… thought you needed some attention right now…"_

"_I don't. Not from you anyway. So either you lock your dreams of having me or giving up any idea you have in mind—I am Shuichi's."_

_Despite the fury, Tohma nodded. If only Yuki could read what's running through his mind right now… he'll probably take back all the things he'd said._

-

-

-

Yuki snapped out of his thoughts as he hit the gas and drove like a maniac while trying to ignore the throbbing in his chest. Hiro's right, he couldn't drive properly with a condition like this. He hadn't fully recovered yet, and now his broken ribs are screaming in agony. The worst thing is he didn't even bother to bring some painkillers along. He coughed in pain as he felt his vision blur painfully slow, and gasped as he felt warm liquid pour from his parted lips.

He glanced at the mirror and was not entirely surprised to find his mouth now covered in blood. He wiped it with the back of his hand and once again tried to ignore the pain—no matter how bad it hurts him.

He shouldn't give up now. Not until he finds Shuichi. If he'd kissed him for the last time then… he wasn't even afraid to die.

And with that thought the ex-novelist hit the gas harder, and the silver vehicle ran on the lonely road smoothly. The place where Shuichi is undoubtedly at is the mansion that Tohma had claimed as his 'secret place', since no one knows it but him and Tohma. If Tohma just wanted him, he surely will choose that place. It's very far from the city, and it could take eight hours or so to get there, but thankfully the street isn't very busy—that means he could drive over 110 km/h with no concern to experience his last accident.

The blonde coughed again, and now the blood wasn't pouring, but spurting from his mouth. It's more than bad now, his inner-thought said. If it burst, then a vital part of his body had broken again…

Now crossing the silent village, he prays to whatever gods exist to let him survive at least until he sees Shuichi again. He closed his eyes tightly for a brief moment to concentrate on his pain before he opened them again, trying with all his might to get rid of the torturous feeling.

-

-

-

Tohma tapped his fingers softly on the table, bored. He leaned his head against the wall in order to make himself comfortable, but to no avail—the thickness of the silence that fell around the small cellar and the boredom that soon followed it makes him unconsciously squirm uncomfortably. Shuichi on the other hand, no matter how much the silence is bugging him, didn't make it much more obvious. Instead the now grown-up male tried to distract himself and ignored Tohma's company (and how he loathed the word, because Tohma is not here to keep him company) by gazing pointlessly yet still peacefully around the room. He'd managed to spot a little mouse and a couple of spider webs nested over the wall before his supposed 'peace' was being interrupted by none other than Tohma Seguchi.

"I'm bored," the bleach-blond male said, in almost a whiny tone. Shuichi ignored him.

"I'm bored," Tohma repeated it again, as if to make sure that he had Shuichi's attention on his palm. The said man stared at him in annoyance.

"I heard it, Seguchi-san. I just chose to ignore it."

Despite himself Shuichi half-expected for Tohma to lay his hand on him again for expressing such impoliteness, but found none. Instead, as he turned his attention back from the spider to Tohma again, he noticed that the other man is smiling at him. Not a genuine one, mind you—Tohma only keeps that one for a certain man that wasn't such a secret anymore. The smile that he offered to the other male is that same faked and poisoned smile—thick with triumph, heavy with pride, and you could smell plain arrogance by just looking at it. Shuichi felt he's going to sick but keeps his comment all to himself.

"…You've changed, Shuichi."

Ignoring the lack of honorific the man in question shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly, simply replying, "Time changes people, Seguchi-san."

Keeping that calm, fucking poker face Seguchi bends over so that he was on the same eye level as Shuichi before whispering sickening sweetly,

"…I supposed it's rather… Eiri changes people, Shuichi."

Biting his lips and squeezing his eyes shut for a brief moment to not betray any emotion that may show how much the words affected him, Shuichi averted his gaze to the spider that was silently waiting on the edge of its web instead. Tohma chuckled, figuring that the other male isn't realizing that his action alone was enough to give him the idea that he'd pushed the right button.

"…Isn't it true, Shuichi? The last thing I remember is you being so weak; you are nothing but a little pathetic piece of shit that knows nothing but being whiny and acting like a damn brat… always clinging and relying on someone else because you aren't even capable to hold yourself… Isn't it? You always hide behind Eiri's arms whenever you're in trouble."

Pursed lips locked securely together as the owner preferred to stare at an unfortunate fly that had become trapped on the spider's web, struggling furiously as the spider calmly watched from the edge. Shuichi noticed that from the edge of his eyes he saw Tohma's brows twitch together in anger, although the said man gave his best effort to make it less obvious. A moment of silence passed, and Shuichi knew better than to be grateful for it, because it broke as soon as Tohma opened his mouth again.

"…But here you are, Shuichi! I've slapped you and kicked you and snapped you but you're still as hard as a rock. If it's the same Shuichi that I saw from two years ago I bet that you'll break down crying and being all whiny again… tell me, what happened to that old Shuichi?"

Averting his now piercing gaze at the bubbly man beside him, Shuichi whispered in annoyance, "He's dead."

Those simple words gain maniacal laughter emitted from Tohma's throat, and the said man had to shut his eyes to hold back the tears of overwhelming humor that invaded him. Seeing nothing even funny for him to laugh along (not that he intended to) Shuichi kept glaring at him, until the laughter slowly faded into a little chuckle.

"I'm sorry, Shuichi…" Tohma said eventually with a little chuckle tumbling between his words, "…on second thought, I'm not really sorry, really. You could pretend I am though, because… come on, you sound like those kind of girls on the telenovela… brokenhearted after seeing her boyfriend cheating, fucking someone else behind her back and deciding to bury her past and move on even though the memory of 'the sweet moments' with her boyfriend are still plaguing her badly… trying to be strong, killing her old self to face her dull future, pretending to be heartless and invincible… Like you."

Shuichi felt a pair of sickeningly soft hands grip either side of his head to force him to stare at the spider web again, forcing him to ponder each word that slipped from Tohma's evil lips…

"You can't even deny it, can you, hm, Shuichi? Because it's true. This new Shuichi, the one that you claim you'd created after 'killing' the old one, is still inside of you—there was no new Shuichi to begin with!" Tohma said with his lips dangerously close to Shuichi's ear. Shuichi tries to get out from Tohma's grasp, he really does, by thrashing and kicking furiously like that fly that had fallen into the spider's web, but with his hands bound behind his back his struggles fall to no avail.

…just like that pathetic, pathetic little fly.

"You think you're strong! You didn't need Eiri by your side! But you're wrong; no matter how hard you try to cover it, it's obvious that you need him. So no, Shuichi, you're not changing at all. You're still pathetic like that little fly; trapped on the sticky web and trying to save itself."

Shuichi felt the hands leave him but he made no move to turn his head anywhere—instead he just watched with minimum interest as the spider began to approach its prey slowly.

"You're pathetic. And no one will come here to rescue you."

The spider now had already reached its destination, and the fly stopped his struggles altogether. As if realizing that its death has come to take it, the fly just let its body be covered by the sticky substance of the web, even though Shuichi swore it is still breathing.

It surrounded.

"I thought if I abducted you I could bait Eiri to come here… but it's enough, you knew better than to mess with my patience. Looks like Eiri doesn't care about you anymore."

A pair of lavender eyes stared blankly at the evil-in-disguise before him as the owner rasped out frigidly, "So what are you going to do to me?"

Taking his usual mocking pose, Tohma tapped his finger on his chin as if thinking deeply. He's taking too short a time to think—even for an intelligent man like him, Shuichi noticed—so the other man only did that to amuse him (and failed miserably) because he'd figured the answer long ago.

And sadly, Shuichi knew it too.

"…I'm going to burn you. And make Eiri mine again."

The words flew to Shuichi's ears, sweet and dripping with revenge as the bleach-blonde pulls a pair of handcuffs from god-knows-where, then pinning both of Shuichi's wrists onto the bedpost near the chair where the boy sat. The wince that formed itself in Shuichi's eyes is barely noticeable but Seguchi still saw it, smirking after he successfully handcuffed Shuichi's wrists to the bedpost.

"There. You can't escape. See you, Shuichi… if you're lucky."

Shuichi didn't even flinch when Tohma takes his leave, claiming he has to prepare everything to make his death beautiful because something had to be pretty for a filthy boy like him—and Shuichi didn't even blink when the fly was brought by the spider to its sting. Shuichi didn't even think how much it hurts knowing that Eiri wasn't coming to rescue him—that **no one was** coming to rescue him—Shuichi didn't even realize as the unnaturally familiar liquids began to pour from his eyes, and Shuichi didn't realize when he started sobbing.

He chose to not realize his feelings anymore. He's losing his faith.

-

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-

Another burst of blood pours from his slightly parted lips, and Yuki realized his breath had come in shallowly. Even so, he ignored the pounding in his ears and the ache in his chest—the agony that painfully gripped his very being, the sadness and worry that was still clouding his yellow orbs as his mind darted to Shuichi again. It's already noon by now, the journey to Tohma's place surprisingly taking much more time than usual, and he dearly hopes that the boy hasn't given up yet.

God, Tohma could be so evil if he wanted to be.

And speaking of evil, the ex-novelist weakly curved a smile as he arrived to its nest.

To find the smile immediately faltered as he realized the nest is burning.

-

Don't forget to vote and review! Thanks!

*Chocobo blow kisses


	10. Kiss of death

Truth behind the Lies

Chapter 10: Kiss of the Death

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Hello kind people out there!!! I knooow, it was like, two months before my last update righttt? I went poof. sorry. and anyway, I wanna told you about the pool thingies. Surprisingly enough, this was the current result:

1. Kill Tohma PAINFULLY SLOW!!! 4 33%

2. Happy ending for all of them, Tohma being a nice guy again and marry Mika again 433%

(and I thought wtf? I thought you guys wanna see Tohma suffer?)

3. Kill Tohma, fast 2 16%

4. Kill ALL of them 1 8% (I wonder who voted for it...:D)

5. Other (send any ideas to chocobo, via PM or email) 1 8%

6. Kill Yuki and Shuichi, their love immortal in heaven while Tohma live a living hell 0 0%

yeah right. The ones who wanted Tohma die painfully slowly and those who forgive him are on the same level. Since I write the ending depends on the vote result (doesn't mean I'm too lazy to think, just wanna give something you guys wanted), if you agree on killing Tohma, please vote. Thanks for those who have, I'll wait the vote until the next chapter being posted. and this was a blind poll cause I wanna prevent bias, but I'll let you guys know when the next chapter posted.

* * *

Thank you for Lanie12777, my greatest bestie, beta, and co-writer! yayz you're amazing! xDD this chapter specially dedicated for youuuu!

* * *

Shuichi held in the urge to scream as the fire spread through the building that was mostly built of wood—but quite the contrary from his effort, his voice found its way to burst from his lips as soon as he realized the fire had reached the room where he was currently in. It quickly spread on the carpeted floor, and the boy couldn't help but think that Tohma had poured oil on it earlier, for it was running in high speed towards the chair where he sat with his wrists handcuffed to the bedpost beside it. He screamed when the heat radiated nearer to his skin, almost touching his legs—almost—before the door suddenly snapped open.

His eyes widened to find a bloody Yuki standing there, panting.

As strange as it sounds the first thing that flashed in his mind is not how his love could stand there, but how beautiful it will be to die in his lover's arms as both of them are swallowed by the flaming fire. Tohma had to be right, he admitted silently, while mentally picturing both his and Yuki's body vanish as reddish, colorful monster swallowed them both, turning them into a mess of ashes.

"Shuichi!!!" Yuki's voice boomed, snapping him back to reality to find there's a great amount of concern clouding in it. His jaw trembled, and he felt a painful sting in both of his eyes… he'd cried again.

But he didn't curse himself for it.

Yuki immediately rushed over his side, fighting over the maddening flames with just his wet clothes. Pink spots scattered over his clothes, and Shuichi knew better than to ask what they are, for there's enough evidence that it's a mix of blood and water since the crimson liquid still remained on the blonde's lips and neck.

And when he tasted copper on those lips, when Yuki decided to press his lips against his own, he was fully certain that it's blood.

"Yuki…" he gasped when Yuki finally pulled away but not quite yanking his face away from his, "…you're bleeding."

Eiri shot him the look that said 'stop stating the obvious' before releasing his feet that were bound together by a solid rope, but fortunately Eiri was strong enough to rip it apart. Too soon to state fortunate though—for Shuichi's wrists were bound together by much more solid, iron cuffs.

"Yuki…" Shuichi tried, but Yuki merely cast a glance at him. The blonde just concentrated on the handcuffs before him, trying to figure a way to break it.

"Yuki…"

Still, no response came.

"Eiri!"

At the mention of his true name Eiri snapped his head to meet Shuichi, impatience written all over his still youthful features. Shuichi smiled.

"I'm glad that you're here." Wincing as the fire started to burn against his bare toes, Shuichi let his smile remain when Yuki looked at him confused. "…At first I thought you wouldn't care that I'm gone. But you're not…"

"…Brat, as much as I love for being all lovey-dovey and stuff, this is not the right—"

Yuki couldn't finish his sentence because Shuichi immediately leaned in, claiming his lips in one of the most bruising and addicting kisses that he'd ever tasted. It only last for ten seconds though, for the brat then half-heartedly pulled away.

"But you have to leave me, Yuki," Shuichi said eventually. "There are only two choices: one, I die and two, both of us die. And trust me, Yuki, I dearly love the latter, but I don't think you do…"

"…no."

"You have to go. Please. It's enough that I've seen you again… for the last time…"

"…I won't."

"Yuki, please! I don't want you to die, please, if you love me, leave—"

"DON'T YOU DARE ORDER ME AROUND, YOU FUCKING BRAT!"

Despite the pain from his wriggling toes that slowly crept to his legs, Shuichi's eyes managed to widen as their owner froze in shock. He watched in horror while a little amount of crimson liquid poured from Yuki's bruised lips, as if from the impact of his own earlier outburst.

"Fuck it, Shuichi! Do you even know how much I suffered after you left me two years ago? How much it hurt when I thought you'd really left me for someone else?" Yuki demanded, "I'm not gonna let you go again! Not without a fight! You see, I'm not usually this corny and disgusting but I do this for you—I just want you to know that I don't want you to leave my side, ever again! And if the worst happens, I'd rather die with you!"

"Yuki!"

"Because without you, I will die eventually. I can't live without you, dammit, you're the fucking air that I breathe, the reason why I still tried to live! Can't you understand it Shuichi?"

"…I…"

Yuki didn't waste any more time before he flew out of the room to find something that could be used to release his love and life—running like a maniac and nearly tripping over fallen wood on his journey towards the kitchen. He thanked whatever god had existed for letting him watch Titanic before (and how he loathed the movie, only because it made him cry) and copying Rose's act to release her lover, Jack, he grabbed an axe from under the sink.

And then mentally cursed himself for having no idea how to use the damn thing.

Neglecting the thought and momentarily brushing the worry aside, he immediately sprinted to the room again, this time tripping on a broken table that he accidentally ran into. He cursed under his breath as he realized the table pinned his right leg to the floor, making him momentarily immobilized.

A little bead of sweat began to form on his forehead from the impact of the room's temperature and his own nervousness. He realized his breath was coming in shallow again—both from the lack of oxygen and his reopened wounds—but decided to ignore it. He just tried to wriggle his legs to get the hell out from the goddamn table instead, Shuichi's piercing scream making his movements increase tenfold.

"Hold on, Shuichi!" he yelled in the hope his voice could be a soothing breeze to Shuichi's ears. Which is far from reality really, because the panic that surged through Shuichi isn't lessening, but thankfully not arousing either after hearing his voice. The boy glanced at the open door, half-wishing that Yuki had arrived there to rescue him, yet half-wishing that the blonde decided to abandon him and leave. He's torn between the urge to leap into Yuki's comforting embrace and the urge to see Yuki gone and be fine…

Speaking of the blonde who currently tried to get his stuck leg out, Yuki finally decided the hell with it and swung the axe toward the wood that had pinned his leg. His yellow orbs wincing, lips pursed into a thin line of anticipation for expecting the worst—or in other words, just in case the axe swung into his leg instead of the wood. A brief minute passed in silence before Yuki realized there's no pulsating pain on his leg or the warm sensation of blood pouring from it, and he hesitantly opened his eyes. Grinning after realizing that he'd successfully broken the wood in two, making it easier for him to escape, he quickly leaped to his feet again that had turned into jelly due to his critical condition.

"Hold on, hold on…" he chanted repeatedly, but instead of convincing Shuichi it seems like he was trying to convincing himself. Because, even though he hated to admit it, he felt his confidence drop to the point where he's certain that they both won't make it to escape the hell that Tohma had created with his filthy, bloody hands.

Finally reaching his destination Yuki immediately rushed over to Shuichi's side again, all the while oblivious—or rather, trying to ignore the look that was being sent in his direction.

"Listen, Shuichi," he started after making sure that Shuichi's attention was focused on him fully. "I'm going to break the handcuffs with this axe. You trust me, right?"

A flash of hesitance and distrust appeared in Shuichi's lavender orbs before the boy nodded his head eventually. Yuki nodded back, walking towards the nightstand to test the axe first.

His first swing successfully made a big hole on the poor table, but his second swing isn't as good as the earlier one. Yuki sighed.

"It's okay, Yuki," Shuichi said, wishing that he could wipe his lover's hesitance. "I believe you'll do it right."

Strangely enough that was the only encouragement that Yuki needed before he walked wordlessly toward Shuichi again. This time he cast a quick glance at Shuichi's eyes that had closed in anticipation, before averting them to the wrists that begged to be released.

"I'm going to do it now, Shuichi."

The boy in question nodded his head shakily, muscles tensing as he prayed silently. He heard a loud clank as the axe made contact with the handcuffs, followed by Yuki's unnaturally cheerful voice.

"My god! We made it!" the blonde screamed in joy, taking Shuichi in a suffocating hug that made the boy momentarily freeze. Then he leaned in to the vise-grip, yet warm embrace, inhaling Yuki's scent that hadn't yet vanished, even though the blonde had been sweating and not to mention bleeding. This is the smell and the feeling that he'd longed for…

A sudden choke startled them both, and Shuichi immediately pulled away to investigate his lover—who undoubtedly was the source of the voice. He almost shrieks in horror as he saw blood pour freely from Yuki's lips again.

"Yuki! We have to get away from here!" Shuichi said worriedly. "Where's the key? I'll drive!"

Yuki was just about to argue when he realized that he is, indeed, not in the best condition to drive for both of them. If he does he will probably make them both end up hospitalized—and so he begrudgingly pulled the key from his pants pocket. They will run from the still burning place and leave as fast as possible, if the goddamn key still remains in his pocket.

"What's wrong, Yuki?" Shuichi asked when he realized Yuki started sweat-dropping.

"…it's not here."

"Wha—"

"It's not here! The key is missing!"

Shuichi stared with his mouth left agape and eyes as wide as the size of plates when Yuki frantically dug through every pocket existing on his outfit. They were both startled and nearly jumped in surprise as a sickeningly sweet, mocking voice called lingeringly through the air,

"Searching for this, love?"

-

-

-

Mika brushed a few strands of bangs that dared to cover half of her eyes in annoyance. It's been more than five hours since they left Yuki. Knowing his condition, Mika was pretty sure that nothing bad will happen to the ex-novelist—especially because Hiro claimed him to be momentarily immobilized—but it didn't stop the concern that surged through her. Stomping her five-inch high heels onto the floor, she restrained herself from glaring at the reporters that were still asking her pointless after pointless question.

"What's happened with Yuki-san?"

"Is Taki Aizawa-san the one who committed the incident at Bad Luck's concert?"

"How's Shindou-san doing?"

"Where are they?"

Well, not all pointless, but she believed so. When in truth almost all of what they said was true—and that means the mess had leaked into the media. It's just a matter of time for Tohma's career to fall into pieces—it's not like she cared anyway—but that was the case if they could solve it. Tohma is a very powerful man, and an obsessive one, thus he could do anything in order to achieve everything he wanted to have. So this is a bet that could threaten both Tohma's and Yuki's career, and even Shuichi's.

He cast a meaningful glance at the equally troubled-looking Hiro, who just let out a frustrated sigh before saying, "We don't have the right to tell you guys, let's just wait until Yuki-san and Shuichi deliver it themselves for us."

It's not a good move, really, because quite the opposite of his effort, the reporters didn't seem the least desired to obey. Instead they kept asking them those same questions.

"Wait? Where are they, Nakano-san?"

"Is it true that Shindou-kun had been abducted?"

"Please tell us, Nakano-san."

Both Mika and Hiro are on the verge of cutting the crap off by kicking the reporters' asses—no matter what consequences will face them as the aftermath. But fortunately that was the moment when K came into view, with three other familiar faces walking along with him. One is a certain Suguru Fujishaki, while the rest Hiro recognized as Matt and Zack—the other personals of Vladester. Not that he cared anyway—because he doesn't see any benefit now that they were here—but he is just grateful K finally arrived. The manager certainly had faced this kind of situation before, and hopefully this one is nothing for him to handle.

…judging from the murderous look on the blonde's face, it clearly is nothing.

"With all our respects, Ladies and Gentlemen," the American started with his rather odd mixture of Japanese and American accent, "but we hope that you guys will kindly exit the hospital, because this is not a proper place to hold a press conference, and you are disturbing the general peacefulness." Raising his hand that holds his usual machine gun, the manager went on. "So, would you, kindly, get the hell out of here now? Thank you very much."

At first no one even dared to move from their spots as they lay their eyes on K's massive gun, but when the long-haired lunatic lightly pulled the trigger they immediately scrambled all over the place to exit the corridor. Seemingly satisfied with his job, the Winchester whipped his head around to meet his companions' stunned stares.

"That was… cool," Hiro managed finally. K smiled, but then his smile turned into a troubled one.

"You could save up your compliments for me later, Hiro… there's a much more important thing that you need to know," K said with such a serious tone that it made everyone in the room focus their attention on the blonde in question.

"And that is?"

"Yuki is gone. I'd come to give him a visit earlier but he's nowhere to be found; apparently he took one of your cars."

"WHAT?"

Mika practically screamed from the top of her lungs, as Hiro just stared blankly. While the lady was too busy to blame herself for this case—like it's not bad enough—a disturbed-looking Ryuichi came into view, bringing equally bad news.

"Tatsuha is gone…"

-

-

-

Yuki didn't know if it was a curse, or both of them (at least him) were fated to be doomed from the start.

Thinking about it again, his life had started with an awful scene. He'd murdered the one he loved (even though he knew he just defended himself, it still hurt to think that his hands had become bloody), then he finally met someone else that could heal his broken heart (even though he hated to admit it, but deep inside that's what he felt towards Shuichi), but in the end it seems like God hated him so much (he gave him a broken heart, then mended it just to shatter it over again).

But the worst thing is God let Tohma _love_ him.

Or rather yet, God let Tohma feel that way (whatever Tohma felt, he couldn't put his finger on it) for him.

His furious orbs turned from the shocked Shuichi to the smirking Tohma before them, his spidery fingers delicately hold a key between his thumb and forefinger. Mocking.

(As if it was the time when he finally could declare his victory)

Eiri stared back into those cruel, devilish eyes—hoping that the hatred that reflected in his own orbs could deliver his message. And it was becoming crystal clear to Tohma, for then the smaller man slump his shoulder as if in disappointment.

"Don't stare at me like that, Eiri-kun. It breaks my heart knowing that you hate me so much. Why would you? I'm the one who helped you come to where you belong, anyway," the man said in an almost mocking, saddened tone. Yuki let out a snort. He felt disgusted. The once gratefulness he felt when he saw Shuichi now turned into a cold, unadulterated rage. He felt the annoyance. But above all, he felt the anger, the loath, the hatred and the fury. Everything were packaged in one delicate pack and sent it to Tohma, the said package in a form of piercing golden eyes.

"Why _wouldn't_ I? You just took me from the place where I belong, then forced me to call your arms a home! I don't belong to you, Seguchi."

Yuki's voice is hard as stone and frigid as the coldest ice on the earth, making Tohma's once-confident eyes waver with hesitation briefly. However, it didn't take long for the man to gain his confidence back and retort sickeningly sweetly, "You're just in denial, Eiri-kun. I know, it was the first stage of freedom."

(Oh how he wanted to rip that smile from that usually poker face, so that there's no word that could be uttered from those lips, so that _nothing_ could be heard from him!)

Yuki shook his head, sighing. "You are the one who's in denial, Seguchi. I don't love you. Isn't it clear?"

"Don't say that!" Tohma hissed, impatience and anger reflected clearly from his features. His eyes are burning with rage, his lips formed into a thin line in effort of restraining himself from bursting out—his fist formed into a small ball as he held himself from swaying it to Shuichi's face.

"But it's true. I can say it just how much I want to. I don't love you, I don't love you, I don't love you!" it was childish, but Yuki continued on anyway. Somewhere in the back on his mind, he just really wanted to make Tohma see his anger. He wanted this evil to see what he had done to him, wanted to blame him for everything…because damn right, he was the source of these messes. "I don't love you! I don't fucking love you! I don't love you and I never will—"

"Stop."

"No! I don't love you, you hear that? I will never do, I will never ever fucking love you even for the slightest moment of my life! I don't—"

"SHUT UP!"

Both men are panting, Tohma from the fury and rage that was bubbling in his chest and Yuki from the effort to scream due to his still unwell condition. But both men cared to the fact, for Yuki then screamed again, "Open your fucking eyes, Seguchi! You have a beautiful lady, who once loved you." (_Once_, because not anymore) "And yet you still want me! I don't know if you're that fucking greedy or you're just—plain evil!"

Seguchi smirked. He then took several steps near Yuki, keeping the smile remaining on his face because he knew, he dearly knew that Yuki hated it.

"If what you mean is Mikarin, I must say that I didn't even love her from the start," the man said, unblinking. "How could I? I just used her to get near to you. I just used her so I could be with you."

"You filthy—"

"I just used her because I could. She knew all of this, and yet she still decided to be with me. It's not my fault that she's such a fool. It's not my fault that she loves me."

'Loved', Yuki corrected mentally, hissing, "Don't you dare say any bad words towards my sister."

At this, Seguchi let out a humorless (and to Yuki's ears, sorrowful) laugh. He then stopped his laughter when he noticed that Yuki is not laughing along with him.

(He's supposed to)

"I never thought you cared even one damn thing about her. Or about Shuichi. Or about anyone else, for that matter. What made you change, I wonder?" the bleach blonde asked mockingly, tapping his finger on his chin to emphasize his faked wonderment. Before Yuki had a chance to retort back, Tohma snapped his finger together as if he only just got an idea.

"I know! It must be Shuichi, isn't it? How cute!"

Those words were once again followed by that empty laughter that held nothing but sorrow, and Yuki began to doubt the other man's sanity. It's not the Seguchi he used to know. Sure, there was a time when Tohma seemed rather possessive when it came to him, but nothing so extreme like this. What had he done to him that made Seguchi break?

(There's nothing wrong with him, it's just his own love that has consumed him slowly)

From the edge of his eye, Yuki noticed that Shuichi was lightly shivering, while hiding behind his back. What should he do now? Shuichi had went through all of this, who knew what Tohma had done to him during his abduction? The boy seems so scared at him, seems paranoid, seems too fragile…

Tohma had that sickly grin on his face again, as if able to read what's on his mind.

"So. I notice that your little pet is scared, Eiri," the smaller blonde said as he took several steps backward, his back facing his two 'companions'. "So I'm just gonna offer you a deal." Turning in one swift movement, he faced Eiri with a smirk remaining on his face.

"What's that?" Eiri asked, impatient. Tohma chuckled as he shook his head mockingly.

"Be patient…" he eventually said, but quickly added before Eiri had the chance to saying back, "I will let Shuichi go, harmless—I could even guarantee that nothing bad will ever happen to him or anyone again, if only you want to be with me."

Shuichi's eyes immediately widened as he stared at Yuki, searching for any hesitance. But there's nothing on that frigid face, only hate and rage—it seems like his tall lover had thought about the worst scenario. And even though it's true… it's still hard to decide. Yuki just stared blankly at the man before him; he can't believe—can't fucking believe that he's going to do it.

There's no way to escape this. He had to choose Tohma for the sake of everyone's happiness—and most importantly, Shuichi's. The boy had had enough—it seems like he's a magnet of sorrow, and everyone who happens to be on his way will also get the effect. That's what happened to Shuichi. The boy suffered because of him. And moreover, he had kissed Shuichi, right? At least that was enough to be the last memory for him. Then Shuichi could move on with his life…hell, he even could be with Ryuichi and live happily ever after… yes, that's way better than being with him…right?

Right.

He cast a quick, yet meaningful stare at Shuichi—certain that it's the last time he would ever see those beautiful eyes again. With an apologetic smile he whispered, "I'm sorry, Shuichi."

Shuichi's eyes immediately widened and, grasping Yuki's hand weakly, he tried to restrain himself from crying. But no, hell no, he can't because it happened all of a sudden—the last thing he knew was Yuki kissing him, and now Yuki starting to walk out of his life. Shocking. Unbelievable. Painful, oh so very painful fact.

So he cried.

"No! Why Yuki? Please don't—" his voice was caught up in his throat as a stream of tears fall from his eyes, and Yuki uses the chance to slip out from his lover's weak grasp.

"NO! Yuki! Please don't leave me—we'll figure a way to solve this… EIRI!" Shuichi screamed, clutching at his chest because damn his heart is throbbing, begging for Eiri to smother it again. But the said man never even once looked back; with only a soft 'sorry' whispered, he walked away from him, probably forever…

Stumbling bonelessly on the floor, the raven-haired boy couldn't even see when his vision blurred with tears, and he buried his head in his hands; he couldn't bring himself to witness his lover walk away from him, slowly but steadily exiting his life.

Tohma smiled in victorious joy as he saw Yuki approach closer to him. "Ready to change your mind?" the smaller blonde asked in mockery. "Kiss me."

Yuki tried with all his might to stop his eyes from flinching at the sound of Tohma's sweet tone, and instead of retorting his words, he took more steps closer until Tohma's back was flat to the wall. Lightly leaning in after placing both of his hands on either side of Tohma's smaller form, Yuki leaned in to press their lips together.

"I do. But please keep in mind that it doesn't mean I love you, you sick bastard."

Soft lips closed gently over Tohma's. Golden eyes stared deep into his own blue orbs, then slowly slid shut as the kiss intensified. Shuichi, sitting a few feet away and presently ignored, felt his jaw drop at the sight. Yuki was kissing Tohma, making those passionate noises that he only emitted when they were in bed together. The singer felt tears well up in his eyes as he witnessed the intimate moment, seeing how Yuki wrapped his arms around the smaller blonde's body, pulling him closer to his strong frame. He doesn't have to do this… why did he have to kiss him? Why in front of him? Finally, after years of dreaming and scheming, Yuki had chosen him. _Him!_

Feeling Yuki's arms embrace him, Tohma moaned, trying to get even closer. Yuki let him deepen the kiss and couldn't help but hear the voice, somewhere in the back of his mind, whisper…

That so far, his dreams had become true.

-

As usual, reviews fueled a chocobo to write faster.


	11. Chapter 11

The pool results are in, and will be displayed in the next chapter. Thank you for taking the time to vote.

Beta'ed by Lanie12777

**Truth Behind The Lies**

**Chapter 11: It Ends Tonight**

_Heaven._

_If it isn't heaven… then where am I? Should I call this hell instead, because such pleasure should be forbidden, because I taste what they call guilty pleasure right now?_

_Because it's a shame to taste such a delicious sin?_

…_but it felt so good. And it doesn't really matter whether I'm in heaven or not—because as long as I'm with him, it's always heaven._

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Tohma grunted and groaned as he let Eiri plunder his lips, licking the warm cavern with his warm tongue. The taller blonde, who currently had a hand pinned on both of his, kept swirling his tongue in an unexpected pattern every time he tried to gain dominance—leaving him gasping and wholeheartedly surrounded. When he felt Eiri's lips release his as the need for air become stronger and attached them into his neck instead, he tilted his head slightly to give the other man more access to continue his assault on his body.

It didn't take long before Eiri's lips were against his own again, and he moaned as he felt a tongue exploring his, massaging his inside—making him ache for more. He moaned, because god that tongue makes him numb and oversensitive at the same time, making him melt and freeze at the same exact moment—and the sensation was so fucking awesome!

The smaller male blindly reached out, grasping weakly at the other's wounded shoulder as he felt his knees buckle and soon give up.

Eiri let out a hiss as Tohma's hand brushed past, against his scar, causing it to sting with pain again. He tried to ignore the pain though, and instead just dove in to deepen his kiss, so that the vise-like grip on his shoulder would be loosened.

Sensing the smaller man pinned before him squirm, the blonde smirked and went on to slip his hand underneath Tohma's shirt. This caused Tohma to buckle against him, squirming, grinding—and he actually screamed as he rubbed at the other's nipple and slowly pinch at it before roughly tugged at it.

"Ngh—ah… E-Eiri!"

Tohma moaned, and Yuki could feel the vomit in the back of his throat as the impact of hearing his name being moaned by this filth—and the fact that he actually kissed the said filth. Somehow his mind wandered back to Shuichi, and he tried all his might to restrain himself from checking up on his lover's condition. When the need to look at that angelic face become more overbearing he gave in to the idea and eventually took a glance at his love, releasing Tohma's lips as he did so.

Just as predicted: out of the corner of his eye, he could see Shuichi had turned into an unmoving, little ball. His lithe form had curled as small as his body would go in an attempt to disappear from the world—and every so often the boy would shiver, although the involuntary movement was practically ignorable. His head was buried in his hands that were currently gripping at his knees, knuckles turned white from gripping too tightly.

Averting his saddened gaze from the broken angel Yuki turned his body in full height before he bent down to capture Tohma's lips again. Tohma gave in, and Yuki smirked as he felt the other's grip on the key loosen.

A man could be destroyed by his own sin—and that's exactly what he was feeding Tohma. Letting him momentarily taste the good smell of victory, giving him that sweet taste of pleasure, then he'll let him drown on it until he eventually dies. It's just as simple as that; simply make Tohma believe that he chose him over Shuichi (Yuki shuddered at the thought), then betray him, showing him the truth behind his lies.

"N…o…"

Yuki groaned as his attempt to get the key went to a waste. Another idea struck him and he ground their hips together, making delicious movements against Tohma.

"Eiri!"

Tohma moaned, trying to tighten his grip on the key, but found his muscles give up the moment Yuki practically smashed their hips together. He surrendered and let his hand loose, not really caring about anything else beside the fact that Yuki was…Eiri is making out with him.

"Eiri…"

The bleach-blonde haired guy whined as he felt Eiri's lips disappear from his own, and he was just about to ask before he felt a stinging pain shoot right from his groin.

"Taste that, bitch," Yuki said, before wordlessly walking away after landing his fist right on Tohma's jaw with a satisfying crack.

That was better.

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"What do you mean that Tatsuha was gone, Ryuichi?" Mika asked worriedly, because god this was her brother they were talking about! Two of them, dammit. And the one who tried to hurt them was none other than her ex-husband too, and it made it harder.

"I…I'm sorry. I was out to find him some breakfast… then when I went back to the room he was nowhere to be found…" Ryuichi said, on the verge of tears. But no, it's not that cute-chibi-look-of-fear—not at all. It's a face of depression.

Mika sighed while restraining herself from screaming. She just can't blame Ryuichi for what was happening; she'd been in the hospital too when it had happened. So she softened her stare as it settled on the troubled-looking Ryuichi, before tapping the singer on the back in a comforting manner.

"It's alright Ryuichi. It's not your fault… I guess…" she said with a rather hesitant smile on her face. Ryuichi just nodded weakly and bowed his head down in shame as tears of regret slowly poured from his eyes.

"Well, now we have two problems. One: where the hell did Yuki go, and two, where the fuck has Tatsuha gone," K concluded eventually—talking to himself rather than anyone in the small room. Before anyone could respond he shushed them all by taking a hand high to the air, saying, "Yuki undoubtedly went to search for Shuichi. Since Tohma is a very clever man and probably has some secret place or something along the lines—the only one who had the liberty to know it must be Yuki and Yuki only. Then Tatsuha probably knew something about that too, and went somewhere to search for that fucking location."

"It means that Yuki and Shuichi are with Tohma now, and Tatsuha is on his way there."

Everyone gasped at the conclusion that K had just drawn in, thinking about its flaws and its truth. Sensing that it might be true Hiro nodded his head rather ecstatically before saying, "So you mean that Tatsuha's already there? Then how is this supposed to help? I mean, he didn't take his cell phone so we can't get anything from him…"

"Well," K paused, tapping his finger on his chin in a typical thinking manner, "…probably he left some sort of clues behind. And the only place possible for him to do that is the place where he currently stayed before he left to that location…" the blonde trailed again, and with a meaningful glance at Mika; everyone in the room didn't need any further explanation because the said girl quickly nodded.

"I still have the key with me, K."

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Shuichi let out a startled noise as he felt warm, comforting hands wrapped themselves around his waist from behind, as if trying to embrace him. He looked over his shoulder and was surprised to see Yuki's eyes meeting his own watery ones.

"Y-Yuki?" he stuttered in between his whimpers, feeling rather confused with the situation. Realizing something he immediately tore their gazes apart and quickly settle his on Tohma, who was strangely clutching at his lower region. His eyes widened.

"Yuki? Does it mean…"

"Shush, brat. We have more time to chit-chat later, it is over now," Yuki said tenderly, running his hand through the boy's soft tresses. He let out a content, yet saddened chuckle when Shuichi purred and snuggled back into his hand, as if wanting more of his touch. He softly ran his thumbs on the boy's soft skin, wiping away the tears that he himself caused.

Tohma watched the whole scene in disgust. His eyes narrowed in anger as Yuki slowly raised Shuichi to his feet, holding his hands tightly as if telling him that it was over, that things will get better from now on.

No no no, it most likely won't happen. If he couldn't have Eiri, then _no one_ would.

Smirking maniacally as he prepared himself for the last attack, the oldest of the three braced himself together while taking several deep breaths. Then just as immediately he ran, with such power that was practically impossible for a human being to reach, before taking Shuichi off of Yuki, practically dragging him into an empty room.

"No! Release him, you fucking son of a bitch!" Yuki yelled angrily in reflex, taking Shuichi's hands back. The blonde let out a gasp as he felt something bump into his shoulder—something hot and heavy and so very painful that it makes his grip loosen on Shuichi's sweaty one.

Realizing that it was the building's materials that had been burned he knew that it's just a matter of time before all three of them died. Because god, even though he hates to admit it, he could feel his breath becoming more rapid and ragged—the result of inhaling too many toxic fumes. He unwillingly let Shuichi's hands go as the need for fresh air becomes even more demanding. Clutching at his chest the blonde reached out blindly to the thin air as he heard Shuichi's scared voice breaking apart the silence, terrifying him to learn there are too many fears and agony in the usually soft voice.

"Yuki!!! No!" Shuichi screamed and, as if on auto-pilot, he immediately reached out for his lover again. Too late though, Tohma had successfully dragged him into the room and snapped the door shut—and god knows what the bastard will do now.

He fell to his knees, feeling too tired to fight. When he said it was over… it really was over for all of them.

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Mika practically leaped out from the car the moment they arrived to the place where she _used_ to live—her and Tohma's _used to be_ apartment. She fumbled with her purse to search for the key but found it wasn't really necessary for the glamorous apartment had already been opened wide.

K was right, Tatsuha did come here. How, she really didn't give a fuck, and immediately runs inside just like the others do.

She frantically searches for something—something that could lead them to the location—something that could tell them where the hell her siblings are. She stopped as she reached the upstairs floor and spotted her old room, which looks similar to a sinking ship.

She noticed that there was a paper on the small coffee table, with reddish dots like drops of crimson blood spotted everywhere—before picking it up and reading the unnaturally familiar handwriting.

**Mika-san, I know you will read this by the time I'm already gone. This is the location where Tohma is, and I need you to call the police as a backup. I need to go first to fix my mistakes.**

Mika smiled, feeling relief flood her and she immediately runs to head downstairs, ecstatic to give the others this relieving news.

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Shuichi screamed as Tohma threw him to the nearby wall, before he felt a foot attached to his stomach. He gasped, feeling what little air in his lungs practically disappear as stars fill his vision—before sliding further down the wall, landing on the unnaturally cold carpeted floor. He noticed Tohma stare down at him with such hatred and rage and fury painted in those eyes and immediately felt sick, knowing that he will rot in this hell with him.

"Fuck you, Shuichi," Tohma stated firmly, so very bluntly, as a hand slapped him on the cheek. "I've waited for two years, and then you just have to show up and mess it up again!" A kick to his stomach, "Two fucking years, you hear me?! YOU FUCKING MESSED IT UP!" a stinging, seemingly endless pain from his groin.

Shuichi groaned as he rolled to the side, feeling his body was too tired to even move. Staring up at the ceiling, he knew that it was over. It was fucking over. Tohma hadn't won, but nor had he. Both of them are the losers. Both of them are just the same. And both of them will die here, by the lack of oxygen or probably burn to death by the maddening fire surrounding them.

He heard a weak pounding against the door and Yuki quietly whispering from outside. Well, not all whispering, but it sounded just the same. He didn't know if it was his ears that had turned deaf or if it's Yuki's voice that's slowly fading as his spirit goes.

"Hold on, Shuichi."

Either way, it didn't really matter. Because it didn't even change anything.

He averted his gaze to find Tohma had already slid down the wall beside him, looking very tired and out of breath. His lips were parted in an attempt to catch as much air as possible to supply his soon-to-give-up lungs. The older male stared at him as he felt the other's gaze settle fully on him, smirking.

"It is over, Shuichi. We will die here."

"That was comforting, really," Shuichi bit back sarcastically, while holding back the tears that are threatening to fall from the edges of his eyes, making Tohma release an ironic chuckle. Then he produced a small bottle from the back pocket of his pants—perfectly hidden that Yuki hadn't even realized it was there when they 'made out' earlier—before uncapping it.

"What is that?" Shuichi asked, confusion written all over his face as he smells the strangely familiar scent. A smile is the only answer he gets before Tohma wordlessly pours the smelly liquid onto the carpeted floor, causing the fire to grow even more.

Oil.

"Have you fucking lost your mind?" Shuichi yelled in disbelief while trying to get the bottle. He gasped as the liquid washed over his clothes—not really soaked in it, but it made the fire want him more. Tohma smirked, looking overly satisfied with his brand new 'discovery'.

"That's right…" he said with an insane gleam in his eyes before sitting up weakly from his seat. Violet eyes widened in realization and fear as the owner backed up further on the wall—even though he could feel the hard material against his back.

"Come on, Shuichi. It's not gonna be that bad. I will die too, I promise," Tohma said in a lame attempt to comfort. Shuichi shook his head no before scrambling to his feet, spotting a rather big window on the very side of the wall.

"No! You're crazy!"

"I AM! So what?!" Tohma screamed, pouring more oil on the way as he went. Shuichi screamed as it touched his skin lightly; the heat made his feet run faster than ever before he finally arrived in front of that big window.

Unfortunately it was closed. Feeling Tohma's presence at his back, he gains whatever strength to kick Tohma's stomach—causing the man to groan in pain as his shaky hand pours a little amount of oil on himself. Shrieking, he tried to pat down the fire on his clothes as Shuichi used the opportunity to search for something that could break the window.

Spotting a chair in the very corner of the room he ran to it with Tohma following close behind, the material of the burning house dripping on both of them making it even harder to catch each other's aim. Fortunately for Shuichi, a rather big piece of wood fell and landed right before Tohma, causing him to trip stumble down on the floor. Once again he used the opportunity to drag the chair until they both were in front of the window again, before swinging it harshly until the window shattered into pieces.

Ignoring the piece of glass that is digging into his skin as they burst out into a million tiny pieces, Shuichi hooks his legs up as leverage to lift himself altogether and finally leaps out the window, successfully leaving Tohma alone to rot in his own hell. Not even minding to find something that could be used to close the window he runs away from the mansion, hoping that some sort of miracle will come to him and Yuki because that's what he'd been wanting ever since. To be happy with Yuki again.

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Tohma almost screamed in frustration as he witnessed his prey gone. Almost. If it's not the knowledge that Yuki was still in the mansion, without knowing that his lover had already gone, 'almost' definitely wouldn't fit into the sentence. But since he knows that Shuichi will come back again to rescue (he snorted at the word) Eiri, he restrains the scream from bursting out from his lips.

Digging into his pocket he produces a key, its silvery material glittering from the fire surrounding him. He knows that Yuki is still there, waiting patiently for his lover to return. Well, he will return now.

Because it is over. It is fucking over.

Maybe both of them are the losers—but Yuki is the prize. And the one who gets the prize isn't the loser anymore.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN:** The poll is closed and the results can be shown to those who want to see, thank you sooo much for voting and reviewing!

Beta'ed by Lanie12777

____________________________________________________________________________

Truth behind the Lies

Chapter 12: Puppet on a String

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Tatsuha frantically tried to learn how to read the map while trying to keep the car on the road at the same time. Dammit, this is why he loathed geography class. How the fuck could he understand this mess of green, blue, and brown? It didn't look like a real earth at all, and they dared to call it a copy of earth? Cursing his lack of knowledge and Yuki's car's lack of a GPS system, he let instinct overtake him and just went with the road. Hopefully he wouldn't lose because he needs to see his brother—and Shuichi—immediately.

He knew, from the past two years, he should've told Eiri sooner. He should've confessed that he was the cause of this mess, beg Eiri to forgive him and then plead for Shuichi to come back to Eiri again. Then they will live happily ever after, just like what they deserve.

But it's already too late, right? After two years, too many fucking things had changed. Tohma had gone from mad to insane, Yuki had gone from cold-hearted to fragile little child, Shuichi had gone from a bubbly brat to a tainted baby doll. And him? Turned from a human into a breathing corpse.

Because god the guilt haunted him. How many times did he cry himself to sleep, praying that all of this was nothing but a nightmare? How many times will he punish himself after taking away the blame that was definitely directed on him and only him?

And Ryuichi had said that he won't be disgusted with him, even if Tohma did show the tapes. But he just can't believe it… Tohma had made a scenario where he got _raped_ by him. And when he '_raped'_ Tohma, he called Ryuichi's name passionately.

How disgusting, even for himself…

Dismissing the depressing thought the monk concentrated on the wide road displayed before him. It was precisely nine in the evening, and still he hadn't reached his destination yet. Just how long does it take to get there?

Eventually spotting a large mansion the raven-haired teenager hit the gas harder. It was hard to not spot it, because even from the distance he could see that it was surrounded by fire completely; it looked positively like a hell.

Which isn't far from the truth, really…

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"Shuichi!!!" Tatsuha screamed as he leaped out from the black car, ignoring his limping feet and throbbing chest. Two bullets used to nest in there. Two fucking bullets used to be inches apart from his heart. But even though it was still stinging and painful, the knowledge that his brother and his brother's lover might be a few steps away from death's door was enough for him to keep it neglected.

"Shuichi!!!" he screamed again, half-limping and half-running around the large field. Desperation overwhelmed his being as he realized there's no voice responding to his—the mansion still and quiet as a graveyard—save from the sound of the fire swallowing the epic building and his own voice echoing through the hollow evening. "Eiri!!! Shuichi!!! Answer me, dammit!"

The monk heard some shuffling from the large garden on the side of the building, and braced himself together as shadows began to lurk over him. Breathing a sigh of relief as he took in the sight of Shuichi limping towards him—well not entirely relieved, because the singer looks positively like a mess, but he's still grateful nonetheless—he immediately ran as fast as his energy would allow before bowing down at Shuichi's feet, as an act to beg for forgiveness.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Shuichi!" he rasped out weakly while couldn't help but let fear of rejection shake his form lightly. "I… I never meant to hurt you. I didn't want this to happen—I never had even the slightest intention of hurt you, or Eiri. I'm so sorry, Shuichi… sorry…"

Shuichi let a weak smile overtake his face while the teenager bent down to put his hand on the monk's shoulder. The bone on his back cracked in protest but he ignored the sound and the pain impacted from it, gently taking Tatsuha's shaky hands in his own instead.

"It's okay, Tatsuha… I… we, we forgive you," he said gently, not that he could talk in a voice above a whisper, while trying to raise Tatsuha to his feet. The teen was still unable to look at him, head bowed down in shame, bangs covering half of his eyes. It didn't take long for Shuichi to put two and two together and realized that Tatsuha had been crying; he circled his arms around the other's chest.

"It's okay. It really is okay. It' just…" Shuichi trailed off, and Tatsuha immediately looked up to see what's wrong, and almost cried again to see there's a solitary tear slipping silently from those big violet eyes. He usually doesn't act this corny and shit…

"What, Shuichi? Tell me what's wrong. Where's Eiri?"

The older of the two seemed a little hesitant, but after considering a few things he eventually said, voice soft and somewhat guilty, "He's… he's still inside. Tohma is with him. Don't know what he did… don't wanna know…"

The tone that he intended was to be monotone and stoic, but it came out childish and whiny, even to his own ears. Tatsuha stared at him through understanding black eyes before nodding, brushing away Shuichi's hands from his shoulder gently before taking them in his own.

"Listen, Shuichi. Mika and the others will come soon, with police as a back-up. Meaning you're safe now. It's okay, Shuichi, I'll go inside and try to find Eiri."

"No!" the singer said with no second thought, gripping the other's hands tightly as if trying to restrain him from leaving. "You can't go in there! Tohma… he's… he's insane. He'll kill you. He tried to kill me first in there, tried to take Yuki from me. You… you won't survive, Tatsuha."

Tatsuha sighed, long and deep, but more in concern rather than annoyance. "So would you rather like him to have Eiri all by himself, when my brother already went through his hell and tried to rescue you?"

"That is not what I'm trying to say, I—"

"I know what you mean, Shuichi. Two years ago, when I agreed to do what Tohma told me, I knew that I'd sold my soul to evil. Kinda dramatic maybe, but that's what really happened. Now I know I'm the one who brought this up. Eiri is innocent, so are you. I'm the one who should fix this, and there's no need for you to worry about me."

Shuichi stared at him weakly, torn between doing as Tatsuha said and refusing to let him go. But in the end, thanks to Tatsuha's stubbornness and his own eagerness to see Eiri again, he gave up and let the monk go.

"Just," he said when Tatsuha was just about to enter the badly burning mansion, grabbing one of his hands firmly, "promise me you'll get out safe with Yuki."

Tatsuha didn't need to think twice before saying that yes, he promises he will be okay and bring Yuki outside, but it didn't mean he believed it either. Because really, he doesn't know whether he will break this promise or not…

-

-

-

"Stay the fuck away from me, Tohma."

The man in question just chuckled, low and deep and yet understanding as he approached Eiri steadily, as if trying to confront a wounded animal. The ex-novelist hissed in annoyance as his exhausted gaze refused to cooperate; like a trapped puppy he tried to back away from Tohma's grasp but of course, with oxygen running slow and shallow from his lungs, his attempt was in vain.

"It's okay, Eiri-chan. Shuichi is gone. This… is about us now." Tohma tried to give the other a reassuring smile but it came as a grimace instead, and Eiri couldn't help but mirror it. He heaved his chest to catch as much air as possible before saying, "It's never about us. There's not even an us in the first place… it's… it's just about you trying to hurt me and Shuichi."

Yuki must be insane if he could see a brief expression of hurt flash in the other's eyes, but thankfully before he could ponder about it again the hurt had already been replaced by yet again another unreadable expression that he could not fathom. Deciding that he doesn't even care in the first place, he went on with his little speech, "You have hurt Shuichi… I will not forgive you for that."

Tohma let out a chuckle again. "Stop talking about the dead, Eiri."

At this the golden orbs that were Yuki's snapped open wide as the owner froze in his spot, gasping a, "What?"

"Shuichi's dead. Lack of oxygen. Head smashed against the wood. Whatever, but he's dead now."

He knew that whatever Tohma said were lies, that they're nothing but empty excuses that were being pointed at him just for the sake of hurting him, but it didn't stop him from believing. Going boneless on the cold floor, he grasped at the said floor weakly to prevent himself from falling down completely as he whispered, "…no… there's no way…"

"He is. And guess what, Eiri? That's all because you refused to agree," Tohma said with a slight hint of annoyance in his voice. "I told you to not mess with me. You kissed me alright, but you betrayed me. You… you messed with me."

"Can you blame me, you fucking scum?" Yuki retorted back equally angrily, unknown strength making him keep a better grip of himself as he stood up from the cold floor, albeit weakly. "You're the one who messed with us first! No one asked you to order Tatsuha to dress up as me and fuck you, just to make Shuichi think that it's me!"

"There's no need for you to remember that, I—"

"You did that to make me return to the place where I belong, all that fucking shit you told me, I'm fed up! I don't believe any single thing you've said, you fucker, now just kill me so I can meet Shuichi again!"

"Would you rather… die than live with me, Eiri?"

Yuki must be going insane, because once again he could feel the hurt in Seguchi's voice. He ignored it though, and instead said softly, "I do. I do know that I loved Shuichi before he left me… and to live without him just equals dying. So just kill me, Tohma. I beg you for this one."

Yuki knew it was ridiculous for him to beg for death, but it seems like Tohma didn't find it agreeable in the slightest. The said man just shook his head firmly, a tight smile around his face as tired eyes closed shut, shoulders slumping as if in disappointment.

"I can't, Eiri. I love you too much to do that."

"If you love me, you won't hurt me and let me live with Shuichi. Now you've killed him. So kill me… just…"

"I do this because I love you."

"I know! I just… I don't need you. There's already Shuichi's love for me, something more genuine and innocent and healthy, and I'm pretty content with that. In fact, I was so fulfilled with it that I didn't need anything else, so… I can't believe I'm fucking say this, but… I'm sorry, Tohma," Yuki said with no hint of anger or rage or hatred or anything. "Now kill me…"

"I can't."

"God dammit, you've killed Shuichi, why's it so hard to kill me now? You're already become a murderer, are you afraid to take one more soul away?!" Yuki asked in desperation, but before Tohma had a chance to deny him a lurking shadow come over to them and both of them were more than surprised to see that the said shadow was actually Tatsuha.

"I won't let you touch my brother, you fucking filth."

-

-

-

Shuichi let out a content sigh as he felt the soft cushion of the car's leather seat against his back, its comfortable material rubbing and warming him just right that he thought he might fall into a deep slumber in an instant. However he spotted a small refrigerator in the back seat; it didn't take him too long to notice since it's Yuki's car anyway and he used to spend much time here back then, and eventually went to search for something that could satisfy his thirst. Leaning on the soft seat with a can of cola in hand (because Yuki had no sense whatsoever and tended to fill most of the small refrigerator with beer, which is absolutely out of the question) he almost gets an instant heart attack as a shrill ring of a phone came from his left side.

Picking the electronic thing up, knowing that it wasn't Yuki's since the said guy had a slide-style cell phone, the raven-head was more than surprised to see Mika's name displayed on the rather huge screen. He pushed the green button before rasping out slightly, "Moshi-moshi?"

"Tatsuha! Thank god, why did you never pick the phone up? You moron!" the voice said, loud and high-pitched in his ear so that Shuichi had to put it away for a moment before picking it back up, just in time as Mika stopped and seemed to realize something.

"Wait, you're Shuichi aren't you?" the voice said again, louder and more high-pitched this time, and Shuichi winced in pain as the noise brought him to a temporary deafness. Some soft shuffling and more people's voices come through the phone—one he recognized as Hiro's and the other he hardly recognized as Ryuichi's, but then the same feminine voice cut them off with a silent disapproval. Shuichi can just imagine Mika glaring at Hiro and Ryuichi there, and the thought managed to pull a smile from him. It faltered within seconds though, and he spoke softly into the phone, "Yeah, it's me… Mika-san-"

"Thank god you're alright, Shuichi! Where are you now? Where's Tatsuha? And what about Eiri?"

Shuichi hates to spill to the oldest Uesugi that her other siblings were possibly dead, but he was in no position to not answer. Truth was better than a lie in this case, after all.

"They're with Tohma. I tried to stop Tatsuha… but he was determined to save Yuki. He's still in the mansion back there, I couldn't bring him along," he said, and the voice paused.

"Okay..." Mika said eventually, when Shuichi was pretty sure she'd hung up. "Listen, we're on the way there, okay? It will take no more than five minutes, we're taking the helicopter. Stupid Tohma should have known better that I would use this for a time like this…" she trailed off, seemingly aware that she'd been ranting before saying again, "So just hold on, Shuichi. Now can you tell me how the place looks like?"

"Like hell," the singer said, not missing a beat. Knowing that Mika had already prepared a speech about how insignificant the explanation was he quickly added, "No, I mean it. It's burning and huge… you will have no difficulty spotting it."

"Okay, thanks Shu-chan. Now try to keep in touch, okay? We'll get there soon."

And just as simple as that, the connection was lost and Shuichi felt unsafe again. Praying that everyone was doing okay because there's nothing much he could do right now, the singer stared at the cell phone screen and quirked an eyebrow when he found there were forty two missed calls and twelve new messages, each of them alternating between Hiro's, Mika's, Ryuichi's and K's numbers.

Well, so Tatsuha did leave in a hurry.

-

-

-

"I have no business with you, Tatsuha. Just be gone already," Tohma said, so cold and heartless that it could practically rival Yuki's own coldness, but the boy in question merely remained in his spot. He just stood there, right in front of Eiri, arms spread wide in an attempt to protect his brother.

"I said go away, Tatsuha. It has nothing to do with you."

"Of course it does. Everything happened because of me. And you. And it will be a cold day in hell when I leave my brother's side; I won't let him down again this time."

Ignoring the mocking sound of 'awwww' that had been uttered sarcastically by Tohma, Yuki snorted while the youngest of the three just keep his face neutral. The blonde would be touched by his brother's affection (for the lack of a better word) if he wasn't too busy hating his baby brother and blaming him for the fucking case. So no, he wasn't touched at all. If the soft gaze that he gave to Tatsuha was anything to go by, and it was.

"That was so sweet, Tatsuha. I wonder where you stole that line from?" Tohma said in sickening mockery before adding, "and anyway, you should be gone. I won't joke this time—I'll kill you if you try to mess with me. You've been shot, right? Does it feel so good that you want it all over again?"

Unable to help himself from wincing, Tatsuha glanced at the watch around his wrist. Hopefully Mika will come soon…

"No. I just can't let my brother die."

"That's just ridiculous, since he's the one who begged for death earlier."

"Yeah? Well, he's not in his right mind. Looks like insanity is a plague after all, and you've infected my bro," Tatsuha said, not really caring if his words even made any sense or not, but truthfully he doesn't even give one single fuck. All he should do is make some 'conversation' with Tohma, distract him before the back-up could come and arrest the evil man. Yeah, he could do that. Totally. It won't take too long before Mika comes after all…

Tohma once again chuckled, but it was still empty and sorrowful, even. Then his face became menacing again, baring his teeth as if telling Tatsuha to get the fuck away or else he'll kill him for sure. The said boy remained in his spot however, unaffected by such an action of hatred.

"Get away," Tohma snarled, loud and clear. "Get the hell away Tatsuha, I won't hurt you if you obey."

"No." the raven-head said simply, taking several steps forward while putting his hands on his hips to look intimidating, but unfortunately, Tohma is way too intimidating to be intimidated.

"No? Well…" glaring at the stubborn boy in front of him Tohma carried on poisonously, "…you give me no other choice, punk."

-

-

-

According to Shuichi's words it wasn't really hard to spot the mansion. And according to the words, the said mansion was burning to ashes; the left side had turned into wasted wood and ashes while the front part remained a little untouched—the back and the right side was still consumed by the fire. Mika assumed that her brothers and Tohma were in the front side, presumably on the downstairs since the upstairs looks kind of broken with only a balcony and what looks like the master room remaining. The downstairs however still stood rigid, although she could barely make a nice view from such a long distance, but she told K.

And when it was the time for them to land K quickly called Fujiro, the SFU's leader to tell them about his plan.

"Well then gentleman, we're here," the American said confidently with a small smirk on his face. "Let's just get it straight; all of us will enter the building from the front door, I'm pretty sure Seguchi is there, and half of the remaining team that was in the other helicopter will wait on the outside. The others will have to back-up the left, right and back side, just in case Seguchi made it to escape, and paramedics should take care of the victim, except if that said victim is Seguchi." The small smirk grew into a wider one as K carried on, "However, I should warn you beforehand that we prefer you guys to bust Tohma alive, meaning there's no need to shoot unless it's really necessary." The blonde then straightened himself as the helicopter began to lower to the ground, preparing for the landing. "Is everyone clear?"

A chorus of 'yes' echoed through the small helicopter cabin and K nodded in satisfaction, before moving aside to get his own weapons. Mika had been thoughtful enough to change her high-heels with a flat-sole pair but still didn't bother to bring any weapons, as she had no idea how to use them anyway. Hiro, Ryuichi, and Fujisaki were armed with a simple gun just in case, while the other Vladester remain unarmed since they won't have to enter the mansion. They will just take care of Shuichi, according to the plan.

"Well, let's get going."

-

-

-

Shuichi would've had a heart attack if he hadn't dealt well with the whole ordeal as the helicopter landed right beside the car where he currently sat, because really—things had already been weird enough, and he supposed one more crazy thing happening won't change anything. Forcing himself to open the door he was greeted with Ryuichi's big hug, one that almost cracks his bones in two but one he wasn't regretting. Patting the idol softly on the back he slowly leaned away from the touch and wasn't surprised to see there's a great amount of concern clouding the blue orbs.

"Shuichi," Ryuichi said softly, face bowed down in shame, "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to… god, I was so stupid! I—"

"What are you sorry for, Ryu-chan? It's not your fault," Shuichi said softly while giving his guardian a wide smile, as if telling him that everything's gonna be okay. Ryuichi nodded stiffly, and it's obvious for Shuichi to see how much Ryuichi blamed himself for everything—and it instantly made him felt guilty too.

"So, where's everyone else?" the raven-head asked while ducking his head to get a better view, but all he could make out are some police officers with masks and loaded guns swarming around the place. That's when he spotted Zack and Matt, wearing big goofy grins on their faces, a team of paramedics trailing behind.

"They're already in, I suppose, and I believe I should go in there too now, Shu," Ryuichi said as he half-heartedly pulled away from the embrace, breaking it instantly. The words caused Shuichi's eyes to widen in surprise as he slightly gaped in shock.

"All of them? Is Mika-san there too?!"

"Well yeah, she said she wanted see Tohma for the last time or something…" the green-haired guy said rather awkwardly while starching the back of his head in a nervous manner. "So I suppose I really should get going now. Promise me to stay alive, ne, Shu-chan?"

The colorful tone of the other's voice made Shuichi felt slightly better, but just slightly as he realized things haven't even changed, but he smiled nonetheless.

"No," Shuichi said softly, firmly. "You promise me, Ryu-chan."

Ryuichi give his best friend his brightest smile yet, and this time it gave Shuichi reassurance that the other won't break the promise; he couldn't help but mirror one as Ryuichi nodded.

"I promise."

-

-

-

The room was filled with heated argument; Tohma kept accusing Shuichi and Yuki, and Tatsuha insulting him back with more venom in his voice. He knew both of them were acting childish—but barely gave a damn at all because it's the least he could do to extend the time.

"That's it, Tatsuha," Tohma said so coldly that it caused a shiver run down his spine after Tatsuha accused him of being pure evil, the guy's blue eyes piercing like a cold stone. "You have no right to judge me. You helped me, remember?"

"Well, it was because—"

"Freeze!"

Both of them started at the shrill voice, even Yuki who, seemingly left neglected, nearly jumped out of his skin too. Tohma's eyes widened comically as he turned his head to the source of the deep baritone voice, appalled to learn that it came from a police officer with the letters SFU on his vest.

'Shit. Tatsuha wasn't joking when he said about the back-up thing…'

"All of you, hold your hands up and do not move," the voice said again, and Tohma noticed a police team or two approaching them slowly, all the time making sure that their goddamn guns are being pointed at him. And he couldn't help it, the fear was running cold on his being that he didn't think twice before grabbing a bottle of oil from his pocket, the one he used to burn Shuichi earlier, and throwing it in the police's direction.

"Shit!" he heard the curse being uttered by a voice he couldn't recognize, but barely had time to ponder about it. It was idiotic, of course, but Tohma knew no one dared to shoot before they could make sure Yuki and Tatsuha were safe. So then he ran like a maniac to the stairs that will take him upstairs—noticing from the corner of his eyes some of the police tried to rescue Yuki and Tatsuha while the others chased after him. The best option was to go to the back side and hide in the forest for a while, but he couldn't because that part was burning down to ashes for fuck's sake. So he doesn't stop as his feet carry him as fast as possible, doesn't stop when a loud bang echoed through the room, and doesn't even flinch when a stinging pain comes from his now bleeding shoulder. He made his way to the master room, the one where he remembered had a balcony that hopefully could be used as an escape, limping with arms bleeding and vision slightly blurred. When his back was flat to the wood railing he turned to face the police, and that's when he spots Mika, his beautiful wife, standing bravely among them.

"Mika…"

"Mr. Seguchi, please hold your hands in the air and do not move before I say so, and this will be over," the same rough voice said, and Tohma began to loathe it; it took a great amount of self-consciousness to not strike the leader man on the face. He didn't obey the words though, as he just backed away further if possible, so that he felt the wooden material pressed tightly into his back.

"No…"

"Seguchi-san,"

"I said no, okay? Goddammit!" Tohma then screamed and grab the nearest thing, which happened to be a small table, with his fine arm and once again threw it at the police; the barricade wavered slightly but a loud bang yet again followed immediately. Now a bullet nestled in his right leg and it's practically impossible for him to stand up; his body began to crumble, but that's exactly the moment the wood railing behind him started to crumble too.

Tohma couldn't even scream when the thing supporting his body fell to the ground below, his knees weak and wobbly as he stumbled backward, a rush of emotion he refused to acknowledge as fear gripping tightly over him.

-

-

-

"Yuki!"

Yuki Eiri started at the voice, his body still weak and oxygen still running out from his lungs, but he made it to escape the paramedics and greet Shuichi instead. The raven-head giggled and god, it gained a great effort not to bend down and kiss those soft lips. His effort, no matter how big it was, went in vain as the urge to claim his lover take over and Yuki eventually gave in to the idea—pressing their lips together without caring of the eyes staring at them.

He doesn't give a fuck, because this time is about him, Shuichi and them alone.

"Hi," Yuki said after breaking the kiss that hadn't lasted long due to the lack of oxygen, but still pressing their forehead together. "Nice to meet you."

Feeling proud that his simple words brought sparks of happiness to the violet eyes, Yuki once again bent down to capture the younger one's lips. Shuichi moaned, but broke their kiss again before whispering softly, "Nice to meet you, too."

-

-

-

Tohma looked up as he felt soft, unnaturally familiar hands wrap themselves around his. His eyes momentarily widened as they fell to the face of Mikarin Uesugi, whose eyes were glimmering with what looks like unshed tears. Letting out a sigh of relief he tightened his grip around the other's hands as he whispered softly, "Thanks, Mika-chan…"


End file.
